Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here on my usual Thursday to present chapter twenty of my story Corn Maze. This week the Maltese received a new bed. I did not receive a new bed mind you, but the Maltese did. It is a soft plush cover over memory foam. Where’s my memory foam? Where’s my soft plush cover. I deserve these things. I’m a poodle for crying out loud.

I like my new bed. I like it very, very much.

Stop rubbing my face in it, Tucker.

I am not rubbing your face in it. I just wanted to say I like my new bed. And besides you have longer legs than I do. You can jump up on the couch and the chair. I can’t even jump onto a stool.

The point is you got something new, and I did not. And that is most unfair.

I like my new bed. I like it very, very much.

Oh, shut up. And with that here is chapter twenty of Corn Maze.

Corn Maze

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Twenty

“I’m going to call her again,” Farley said as he paced around the living room.

“You’ve called her five times and sent her ten texts,” Mallory said, irritated he was not paying attention to her now. “She’s not going to call you back.”

“We’re going over there.”

“Over where?”

“To her parent’s house.”

“I thought she lived in an apartment.”

“No. She claims to be happier living with her parents than with me. Is that messed up or what?”

“I thought you were on a date with me.”

“I am. And part of that date entailed coming here and rubbing it in my fiancé’s face. But now she’s not here and there’s no joy in that.”

“You want to go over to Valerie’s place so you can rub it in her parents’ face too?”

“Pretty much.”

“Don’t you think it would be better to finish our date first?”

“No.”

“Think about it. She’s hurt because you went through with the date, and she didn’t want to sit here the entire night waiting for you to come home and do exactly what you want to go over to her parents’ house and do.”

“Hurt, shmurt. What good is it to win and not be able to belittle your opponent?”

“I thought the point of winning was to enjoy your prize.”

“That too. But the gloating comes first.”

Mallory pushed herself off the rail and sauntered over to Farley. “You took me out to a steak dinner; you took me to a theatre and surprised me with a flash mob and now you’ve taken me back to your place. Surely you had something more in mind than making your fiancé jealous when you brought me here.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You have me here for a reason so what’s the plan?”

“I just explained my plan.”

“What if Valerie were here right now? You’ve got me here, you’ve got her here, what would you do then?”

Farley took a step into her and looked her in the eye. “You told me if I won, you’d make it the night of my life,” he said.

“That’s right,” she said with a smile.

He grabbed her around the waist causing her to jump then he kissed her mouth hot and hard. Mallory moaned. He slid one hand into her hair as the other grabbed her ass. She gasped as he made a trail of kisses down the side of her neck. “And technically you drove us here,” Farley whispered.

“Yes, I did. Let’s go upstairs.”

“I’d like that.”

“You’d love that.”

“But first you’re driving me to Valerie’s.”

Mallory pulled Farley’s truck into the driveway of Valerie’s parent’s house. It was a nice wooden two-story home painted yellow.

“Let’s go say hello,” Fairly said smugly.

“Fine. But afterwards I’m driving us back to your place.”

“Deal.”

The two of them walked up to the front door and Farley rang the doorbell. A neatly dressed woman wearing a blue apron walked up to the door and answered it. She looked like an older version of Valerie.

“Why, hello, Farley,” she said in a pleasant voice. “You just caught me baking cookies. I’m running a bit late into the night I’m afraid.”

“I was looking for Valerie.”

“Oh, she’s not here.”

“She’s not?”

“No, but she was here earlier with Harley.”

“What?”

“I got home from my evening meeting with my book club. You know how those things can run long. And when I got here Harley was helping her pack some things into his truck.”

“What?” Mallory said.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met.”

“Where did they go?”

“Well, I thought he was helping her take some of her belongings over to your house, Harley.”

“Thanks.”

Harley grabbed Mallory’s arm and hurried her out to the truck.

“What do we do now?” Mallory asked.

“I’m going to make a phone call.”

Harley and Valerie arrived at Harley’s parent’s farmhouse early in the morning. Dawn had just broken, and the autumn grass sported a fresh coat of dew. They each took one of Valerie’s suitcases out of the truck bed and headed up the porch stairs.

“Mallory,” Harley called when they walked inside. “Mallory?”

They listened for a moment waiting for a response. But the house remained silent. Valerie could see concern in Harley’s eyes. “We were out all night too,” she said. “I’m sure she’s fine.”

“She is my fiancé.”

Valerie looked at the floor. “Harley, if you don’t think we should do this…”

“Oh, no. We are doing this. You are the love of my life, Valerie. But I am concerned about Mallory. Can you blame me?”

“No. Not at all.”

“I’ll go get your other bag out of the truck.”

“Okay. I’ll take these upstairs.”

Harley caught her around the waist, whirled her around and kissed her. “Just remember, as long as we’re together nothing can tear us apart.”

Just then the doorbell rang.

“Who’s that?” Harley said.

Valerie felt a sudden shock of fear. “Farley.”

“Farley?”

“He went home and found I wasn’t there, so he came here.”

“Stay here. I’ll go down and deal with him.”

“No. We’ll go together.”

Valerie and Harley headed down the stairs to the front door. When they got to the foyer Valerie could see flashing lights outside. “What’s going on?”

The doorbell rang again. Harley opened it. Two police officers were standing on the porch. “Is your name Harley?” one of them asked.

“Yes. What…?”

The other larger officer turned him around and started putting sip ties on his wrist.

“You’re under arrest,” the first police officer continued. “Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have a right to talk to a lawyer…”

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments of my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE ACCUSED (1988)-HBO Max

The number one film this week on Netflix is Luckiest Girl Alive based on the book of the same name by Jessica Kroll. Kroll also wrote the screenplay. Ms. Kroll has stated she was gang raped and bullied during her teenage years and certainly has an important and intriguing story to tell about that part of her life. But this pop fiction shlock is utter sensationalism and borderline dreck. Added into the story is the element of a school shooting which only furthers to over dramatize the soapy melodramtic tale and severely weaken both hot button subjects.

Obviously, I am not recommending that film. Instead, I am going to suggest a much better more riveting movie also based on a true story which pulls no punches and depicts a genuinely realistic look at gang rape which, by the way, accounts for 25% of reported rapes. The film was highly controversial on its release in 1988 because of its graphic but necessary depiction of the subject matter. And apparently, nothing has been learned since. I’m fed up with amateur film watchers and their constant complaining that there should be warnings on films. Especially ones that contain rape and explicit sexual content. There are warnings on films on streaming and the reason a film gets an R or NC-17 rating is clearly listed at the top of the screen at the beginning of the movie. If you are of age and don’t have the stomach to watch adult subject matter then don’t. Go back to watching your schlocky romances and mediocre superhero films. Leave the real-life movies and cinema to the grownups.

The Accused is based on the real-life gang rape of Cheryl Araujo who was twenty-one years old at the time in New Bedford, Massachusetts. The trial received national coverage which, because the press nonchalantly released Araujo’s name, and caused her horrible distress. She and her husband and two daughters were forced to move to Florida after the trial where she died in a car crash at the age of twenty-five. She was intoxicated at the time which most likely was linked her PTSD from the horrific rape and its aftermath which included six men viciously raped her on a pool table and the brutal abuse she took from the community who sent death threats to the witnesses who spoke at the trial.

Sarah Tobias (Jodie Foster in a fearless, brilliant Academy Award winning performance) bursts out of a bar called The Mill wearing torn clothes. She runs half-naked into the street desperately trying to flag down a car. A truck picks her up and drives her to a hospital (three college students stopped and picked up the real Araujo). Sarah, who has been raped by three men on a pinball machine goes through a lengthy physical examination which in present day would be a rape kit and is visited by Deputy District Attorney Kathryn Murphy (fantastically played by Kelly McGillis) who’s hand is forced to make a plea bargain. But after a rageful Sarah goes to Kathryn’s house and lets her know in no uncertain times that she has been sold out and humiliated, Kathryn begins to examine the case deeper and finds in addition to the three men who raped her there were also three other men at the bar that night who criminally solicitated the other men to commit the attacks. But it is a seventh man named Ken (Bernie Coulson), a college student majoring in computer science, who may be the key to winning the case.

Good afternoon. It is Thursday and per usual I Gigi the parti poodle am here to introduce chapter nineteen of my story Corn Maze. I am delighted to tell you my dog food is finally back in stock. I feel much better eating haute cuisine once again. I can now breathe and enjoy the autumn season. The leaves are starting to turn here in the pacific northwest although it has been uncommonly warm. And the air due to forest fires has been occasionally smoky. I have had to forfeit some of my walks. But most days have been delightful. I did unfortunately receive a bath Monday and I have just started to get over the terror. Also there have been rumblings that I may be due for a grooming. This is the downside of being a poodle. One must be groomed. But that aside I am getting close to the end of Corn Maze and will be starting a new story soon. For now, here is chapter nineteen of Corn Maze. Genießen!

Corn Maze

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Nineteen

Valerie headed into her room, pulled three suitcases out of the closet, and lay them on her bed. She unzipped them, opened them, and started taking clothing off hangers.

Harley stood in the doorway and smiled.

“You can come in,” she said as she folded shirts and packed them.

“I just like watching you,” Harley said. “It’s been such a long time since I’ve gotten to stand and watch you.”

“What should we tell them?”

“The truth.”

“I’ve missed you for so long Harley. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“During the summer and holiday breaks in college I used to sneak over to where you were working and sit where I could see you. Even when I was dating Mallory. Even when I knew you were dating Harley. It was the one thing in my life I kept looking forward to.”

Valerie dropped the shirt she was about to fold. “Harley…”

“I guess I thought somehow, someway I would get you back.”

Valerie ran over and threw her arms around him. “I think this bet turned out to be a good thing after all.”

Harley smiled. “I think it did.”

“I’d better finish packing.”

“Can I help you?”

“You can put my shoes in that case there,” she said pointing to the medium sized bag.

“Okay.”

Harley moved over to the closet to a wooden shoe rack with six pairs of shoes plus a pair of heels in its original box. He picked up one pair at a time and put them in the medium sized case.

“What are you going to do about the farm?” Valerie asked.

“I think we should start there,” Harley said. “And you can finish your work at the college and apply to the university.”

“You’d wait for me to do that?”

“Absolutely. And in the meantime, I’d put together my art portfolio and my botany work resume as well.”

“We’re still going to have to be neighbors with Farley.”

“Sometimes you have to compromise.”

“You know that, and I know that. But I’m not certain Farley knows that.”

“If we stick together, Valerie, nothing can tear us apart.”

Mallory drove Farley’s truck home from the theatre humming “Mony, Mony” by Billy Idol. “I can’t believe you planned that for me,” she said.

“Driving into the ditch?” Farley said.

“No,” she laughed. “The flash mob.”

“Oh, yeah, that,” Farley said with a grin. “I couldn’t take you on a date that wasn’t interesting, could I?”

“Thank you. And thank you for letting me drive your truck.”

“I’m not that drunk.”

“I didn’t think I would like this date at all.”

“Surprised you, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

Mallory turned the car left and drove down Farley’s driveway. She parked the truck in front of the farmhouse, and they disembarked. Farley had sobered up some by this point and was able to walk in a straight line. He grabbed the rail and made his way up the steps of the porch to the screen door. Mallory unlocked the front door with his key, and they went inside.

Farley flipped on the lights. “Valerie!” he called “Valerie are you here?” He stumbled into the kitchen and saw that the table his fiancé had been sitting and studying at was cleared. He stumbled out of the kitchen. “Valerie!” he called up the staircase. No one responded. “I don’t think she’s here,” Farley said to Mallory.

“Well,” Malory said walking up and leaning on the rail. “What would you like to do now?”

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments of my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: INVENTING ANNA (2022)-Netflix

This week’s pick is a limited series based on the life of Anna Delvey, a twenty-something woman who with no connections or family ties who worked her way into New York City’s elite inner society circle. Anna claimed to be a German heiress with a multi-million-euro trust fund.

The film itself is set up to challenge whether Anna is indeed telling the truth about who she is and how much money she really has. It manages to keep a balance between drama and comedy never tipping too far one way or the other which is part of its entertainment.

Journalist Vivian Kent (Anna Chlumsky) who is based on Jessica Pressler known for writing the article “The Hustlers at Scores” which was made into the film Hustlers sees an article about Anna Delvey who is indited for grand larceny without bail. She senses there may be a story to follow but because of her checkered professional past and her editors’ desire for her to write a Me-Too article she struggles to get support for her instincts. Throwing caution to the wind she heads off to Riker’s Island where Anna is being held and pursues an exclusive interview from Anna.

Anna (Julia Garner) is skeptical at first but seeing she might be able to get something out of her story being published allows Vivian the interview not only to secure fame but also to get small incremental awards along the way.

However, most of the information Vivian begins to acquire comes from those who knew Anna like her ex-boyfriend Chase Sikorski (Saamer Usmani) who was trying to launch a start-up company, successful businesswoman Nora Ranford (Kate Burton), fashion designer Val (James Cusati-Moyer), banker Alan Reed (Anthony Edwards), and Anna’s friends film school graduate Neff (Alexis Floyd), exercise trainer Kacy Duke (Laverne Cox), and Vanity Fair photo editor Rachel DeLoache Williams (Katie Lowes). Although Lowes does a good job here casting her in the part is peculiar as she looks very little like the actual Rachel. My guess is this was intentional as to throw the audience a curve ball and con them as well.

The show has been popular enough that Anna Delvey has quickly become a popular costume of choice for adults this upcoming Halloween season. I will say the show is nowhere near as deep as Dopesick, another limited series based on true events that came out this year on Hulu, but it is still engaging, entertaining and worth the watch especially for Julia Garner’s outstanding performance in the title role. You can read Jessica Pressler’s original article on Anna here.

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here once again to introduce the eighteenth chapter of Corn Maze. This has been a peculiar week for me as I have had a most terrible bout of writer’s block. I spent most of the week pounding my tiny little brain trying to come up with ideas. I lay on my pillow by the window staring at the ceiling desperate for the words to come. Finally, the Maltese came over and gave me a sandwich cookie. Or maybe I stole it from him. Regardless, this was most helpful. One can never underestimate the power of a sandwich cookie. But even after consuming it I struggled. I found myself sipping Aquadent at the most inopportune times. I watched hours of inane videos on YouTube. I even read an article about someone who once forced a radio manager to play “The Rainbow Connection” by Paul Williams repeatedly so people would understand him. I sobbed uncontrollably. But in the end, I kept writing because that is what poodles do. They persevere. And from that perseverance I bring you chapter eighteen of Corn Maze.

Corn Maze

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Eighteen

Mallory drove Farley’s truck while Farley ordered the movie tickets on his phone. They arrived at the large spacious parking lot at a mall which was once thriving and now exuded eerie emptiness.

“I haven’t been here in five years,” Farley said.

“You haven’t been to the mall in five years?” Mallory said.

“Nope. Valerie comes here sometimes and sees a movie.”

“How come you don’t go with her?”

“Let’s go get our tickets.”

“What’s this movie about anyway?”

“It’s a comedy about a young math professor struggling to get his tenure at a university. He quits teaching to become a financial mathematician on Wall Street and ends up working for a clinically depressed psychopathic hedge fund manager who’s battling sex addiction.”

“Huh. Interesting. Well, let’s go see it.”

Harley and Mallory disembarked the truck and headed into the theatre. They got their tickets from the kiosk and brought them to the teenage usher.

“Good choice,” the usher said.

“Oh, yeah?” Farley said.

“Yeah, it’s really funny,” the usher said winking at Farley. “Theatre six.”

“Fantastic.”

Farley and Mallory headed down the red carpet with the woven black and white feather design to the viewing room marked 6 and headed inside. It was one of those upgraded theaters with large plush chairs like Barcaloungers. They walked up the aisle to their assigned seats. More patrons started rolling in and slipped into their seats as well.

“You know what my favorite part of going to movies is?” Farley asked adjusting his motorized chair to a semi reclined position.

“What?” Mallory replied.

“Previews.”

“You could just watch those online.”

“Sure. But it wouldn’t be nearly as fun as seeing them in a theatre.”

“If you say so.”

“What’s the most interesting date Harley has ever taken you on?”

Mallory thought about this. “One time he took me to a hypnotist show. The guy called a bunch of people on stage and had to send some back to their seats that didn’t work out for his act.”

“Did you get up on stage?”

“Actually, I tried to get Harley on stage, but he wouldn’t do it.”

“Did you go onstage?”

“Yeah, I did. But part way through he tapped me on the shoulder, and I had to return to my seat. I guess I wasn’t what the hypnotist was looking for. But it was a fascinating show just the same. People do strange things when they get hypnotized.”

“Interesting.”

The theater went dark, and the projector started to roll. It played the first preview halfway through then stopped. After a moment it started again and finished playing the preview. Then it started the second preview and stopped midway again.

“What’s going on with their projector?” Mallory asked. “Is the hard drive not working?”

Farley shrugged. “It’s probably just a glitch. They’ll fix it.”

Just then the back door opened, the lights came on, and an usher walked up to the front. “I’m sorry,” the usher told the audience. “But we are having technical difficulties with our equipment.”

“Is this for real?” Mallory said to Farley.

Farley shrugged.

Mallory stood up. “Are we going to get our money back for this?” she asked the usher.

“No,” the usher said.

“Why not?”

“Because the show hasn’t begun.”

“But you just said you were having difficulties with your equipment.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t put on a show.”

“What do you mean that doesn’t mean you can’t put on a show?”

Just then a heavy rock and roll drumbeat began playing over the sound system. The usher turned around and started shaking his ass in time with the beat. One of the female patrons shot up and started screaming.

“What is going on?” Mallory turned and asked Farley.

Farley smiled and shrugged as the female patron ran towards the usher. She turned around and started shaking her ass in time with the beat. Another female patron also screamed and ran up to the front to join them. The back door flew open, and ushers dressed in punked out leather started dancing towards the front of the theatre as the song “Mony, Mony” by Billy Idol kicked in. Movie goes jumped out of their seats, some ripping off their shirts and started dancing down the aisles in perfect sync with the music clapping to the beat as they filed out into the aisles creating a flash mob.

“Watch this,” Farley said to Mallory.

He jumped out into the aisle, curled his lip at Mallory and strutted towards the front of the theatre pumping his fist in the air as he went. When he reached the rest of the crowd in front of the screen, he jumped up onstage, turned to face Mallory, took off his blazer and whirled it around in the air. Then he, the usher, and the rest of the dancers lined up and began boot scooting to the song. This broke out into a couple of brief moves borrowed from Madonna videos and Saturday Night Fever.

Some of the crowd ran into the aisles and began shimmying around followed by pelvic gyrations. Suddenly, Farley strutted to the front of the line and ripped his shirt off, sending buttons flying everywhere, clacking and pinging wherever they hit leaving him in a black tank top and bare sunburned shoulders.

Unable to contain herself, Mallory slapped her hands on her cheeks and screamed.

Farley and his crew, borrowing dance moves from well-choreographed jazz dance and Napoleon Dynamite broke out into stunning turns and twists. He grabbed the hand of one of the female ushers and did a few quick swing dance moves before returning quickly to another round of line dancing.

Farley did a cartwheel off the stage, ran to the back of the theatre, ran up the wall, turned around, ran back up on stage where he and the other dancers threw their arms around each other’s backs and did a line of kicks before all the dancers collapsed to the ground except Farley who stood with his fist straight up in the air.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: ELVIS (2022)-HBO Max

This week’s film is a dazzling whirlwind full throttle take on the life of legendary singer and musician Elvis Presley. Baz Luhrmann who has a propensity for reimagination outdoes himself here with a truly unique and entertaining story. But the real powerhouse of this film is the undeniably brilliant, Oscar-worthy breakout performance by Austin Butler in the title role. Five actors were in the running for the part of Elvis, likely because Nicholas Cage and Bruce Campbell have gotten a little too old for the part. These actors were Ansel Elgort, Harry Styles, Miles Teller, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and of course Austin Butler. They made the right choice.

The film is told through the eyes of Elvis’s sleazy money-grubbing con-artist Dutch born promoter Colonel Tom Parker (Tom Hanks in an excellent performance) who sees himself as a “snowman” or rather a grifter and finds the ultimate circus act in a young and impressionable Elvis Presley (Austin Butler). Parker’s real name was Andreas Cornelis van Kuijk who illegally immigrated to the United States. Much of the tension in the movie is between Elvis and Parker and Elvis’s attempts to escape the clutches of Parker’s financial stronghold. Parker’s gambling addiction and increasing inability to read an audience also play heavily into the story as does Elvis’s keen instinct as a performer and his disastrous addiction to drugs in which Parker’s influence plays a strong part.  

The film plays a lot like a very well-crafted music video but does not shy away from its quiet moments which work to fuel the film’s technicolor ones. Butler is effective in all factions. He also sings and plays guitar in the film and to say he is dynamic in Elvis’s on-stage moments is an understatement. His performance alone is a must see and one of the best of the year or any year for that matter.      

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle once again to introduce chapter seventeen of my story Corn Maze. This week the Maltese and I saw some nefarious animals lurking around outside. First was the rat occurrence. And we are not talking a cute little thing with a propensity for French cooking. No. This one was large, rotund, and terrifying. My novelist saw it three times and the third time she pounded on the window and the thing dashed away. The other unexpected visitor showed up early this morning.

It was big and scary. Very scary.

Hush, Tucker! I’m the one telling the story here.

Yes, but it was big and scary.

They get that! As my cohort said, it was big and scary. And it was dark outside, not quite dawn, and a bit of a distance away so my novelist couldn’t make it out even with a bright flashlight. But she suspected a bobcat as there have been bobcats around here in the past.

Bobcats are big and scary.

Go sit over there.

But…

Over there! Thank you. Now, the creature was big and scary and looked like it could be a bobcat, so my novelist whisked the Maltese and I back indoors. It got lighter outside but my novelist still couldn’t figure out what it was. But it was a bold creature and made it’s way closer to our living quarters. It’s eyes still glowing menacingly when my novelist raised her flashlight to meet its face. Finally, it jumped up on a nearby fence and my novelist was able to get a very good look at what we believe to be…a Dragon Li. If you have not heard of a Dragon Li, it’s a breed of house cat.

The big bad rat can say good-bye now.

Enough! You’ve ruined my story! Anyway, yes, we were glad to welcome the Dragon Li to our premises and hope to be rid of the rat. Anyway, here is chapter seventeen of Corn Maze. Nasoloditisya!

Corn Maze

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Seventeen

Farley knew his truck was at an angle. Not upside down but not fully upright either. Maybe in a ditch. Yep, he was in a ditch. He was in the ditch behind Nile’s restaurant. Well, that just sucked. He heard the rush of click-clacking heels running towards his ditch-bound truck.

“Farley!” Mallory called. “Farley! Are you okay?!”

“I tipped over,” Farley slurred when she crept down the bank and reached the driver’s side window. “I tipped over like a Holstein. Moo.”

“I’m calling a tow truck,” Mallory said taking her phone out of her bag and dialing.

“Wait, what?”

“Why did you drive off like that?”

“I don’t know…”

“Hello,” Mallory said into the phone. “Yes, my date drove his truck into a ditch…”

“Hang up,” Farley said. “They’ll give me a DUI.”

Mallory muted the phone. “They’re a tow truck company, not the police.”

“Hang up,” Farley said as he climbed out of the driver’s window and staggered out of the ditch.

“Yes,” Mallory said after unmuting the phone. “We’re at Nile’s…”

Farley grabbed the phone out of her hand and ended the call.

“Hey!” she exclaimed. “Give me back my phone!”

“Don’t call a tow truck.”

“How else are you going to get out of the ditch?”

“Lyle.”

“Who’s Lyle?”

Farley took his phone out of his jacket pocket and dialed. “Hey, Lyle,” he said. “Say, I’ve got a…a mishap here over at Nile’s and I was wondering if you could lend me a…yeah, I know it’s date night…yeah, I know it’s date night, but I could really use your help right now. Yeah…yeah…yeah…okay. Tell Patsy hello.”

Farley hung up the phone, turned to Mallory and said, “He’ll be right over.”

“Don’t you need to go to the hospital first?”

“No. I didn’t hit my head. I didn’t get whiplash. I didn’t break any bones. I just slowly drove into a ditch.”

“But…”

Just then a tall strong guy wearing a pair of gym shorts, a tank top and a lobster bib sauntered over to them. “Hey, Farley,” he said after wiping his mouth on the bib. “I was just having dinner with Patsy in there.”

“I know, dude,” Farley said. “But I drove my truck into a ditch.”

“You’ve been hitting the whiskey, haven’t you.”

“Yeah, well…”

“I’ll go get Bull.”

“Bull?” Mallory said.

“You’ll see,” Farley told her.

Mallory watched Lyle march around the corner of the building. Two minutes later she heard a loud roaring engine as Lyle drove his bright neon green monster truck up to Farley’s pickup.

“Holy cow!” Mallory said.

Lyle leaned his suntanned arm on the window and poked his head out. “Help me with the winch, Farley.”

“Okay,” Farley said.

Farley climbed back in the ditch, and helped Lyle hook the winch up to his pickup. Lyle marched over and jumped in his monster truck. He revved the engine a few times and dragged Farley’s truck out of the ditch.

“Wow,” Mallory said when Farley’s pickup was once again on terra firma. “That went a lot smoother than I thought it would.”

“Ain’t my first time at the rodeo ma’am. Not even my first rodeo with Farley…say, are you a reporter or something?”

“No.”

“You do know Farley’s engaged.”

“Yes, I know. I’m engaged too.”

“So, you are a reporter?”

“No.”

Lyle shot Farley a stern look. Then he pointed back and forth at them. “You aren’t on a date, are you?”

“Thanks for giving me a hand, Lyle,” Farley said taking a few bills out of his wallet and slapping them into Lyle’s palm. “Tell Patsy hello for me.”

Lyle strutted back into Nile’s Steak House as Farley turned to Mallory and said, “How does a movie sound?”

“I’m not going anywhere until you hand me the keys.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Hand them over.” Farley rolled his eyes and handed Mallory the keys. “Where’s the movie theatre and what’s playing?”

“There’s that new horror movie from…”

“Not a chance.”

“Yeah, okay. Well, I think there’s a new psychological thriller playing at the AMC theatre.”

“Where’s that?”

“Over by the mall.”

“Great. Let’s go.” Mallory hopped into the truck and Farley climbed into the passenger’s side. “Why did you get drunk anyway? If winning this contest was so important to you, why did you get drunk?”

Farley looked out the passenger’s side window. “I’m nervous.”

“About what?”

“How it’s all going to turn out.”

Mallory nodded. “Let’s go see the movie.”

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: BAD WORDS (2013)-Netflix

This sleeper was added to Netflix recently and it is a wicked, sly droll dark comedy written by Andrew Dodge and directed by Jason Bateman. Guy Trilby (fabulously played by Jason Bateman) is a smart, snarky acid tongued forty-year-old eighth-grade dropout come warranty information proofreader who, because he never finished the eighth grade is, by a loophole, allowed to compete in the Golden Quill National Spelling Bee. This revelation is much to the vexation of both the parents and those who run the Golden Quill National Spelling Bee. He has conscripted reporter Jenny Widgeon (Kathrine Hahn) a whack job in her own right to pay for his expenses in trade for his story. Trilby easily takes the win at the regional level and doggedly heads off to compete in the national competition. On the plane he meets fellow competitor 10-year-old Chaitanya Chopra (Rohan Chand), a happy go-lucky kid who insists on befriending the acid-witted Trilby. Upon his arrival at nationals, he is called into the office of Dr. Bernice Deagan (Allison Janney) who spares no punches in telling him what a jerk she thinks he is and he in turn unleashes venomous verbal fire right back at her. His presence at the competition is met with continued distain from both the parents and the competition’s founder Dr. William Bowman (Philip Baker Hall).

There are some very funny laugh out loud moments in the film, and it remains sharp and witty throughout. Although I would have appreciated an even more vicious ending, the movie is well worth the watch.  

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here on my usual Thursday to present chapter sixteen of Corn Maze. By now you have probably witnessed as my novelist and I did, the Emmy Awards this past Monday. We were most disappointed in the way things went especially with Better Call Saul and Bob Odenkirk not taking home the prizes for superior work in their respective categories. We were also disappointed that Severance did not pick up a directing award for Ben Stiller’s outstanding effort. And we are even more devastated that neither show claimed a writing award. Both shows were the best written and by far the most interesting this past year especially Better Call Saul with its phenomenal landmark final season.

If you have not seen either of these two shows I urge you to do so. Better Call Saul can be streamed on Netflix and Severance is on Apple TV+. They are presently and genuinely the crem dela crem of television right now.

In our opinion, the best award of the night went to Michael Keaton for his outstanding performance in Dopesick, a must-see miniseries on Hulu. After his win and Jean Smart’s nod for HBO’s Hacks, everything went downhill sinking into a mire of mediocrity.

Yes, we know that Succession is a well-done show and basically a modern King Lear. But its major flaw has started to show in its third season being there is no Cordelia and for that matter no Fool either. Each of these characters represents the voice of morality and the voice of reason respectively in the classic story. The choice for the show to leave them out is by design of course, but the trick is losing its potency and the story arc has continued to fall into a never-ending loop of who gets thrown under the bus this year with no well thought out plan in sight. Yes, there are some truly great moments such as the one involving texting mishaps, but this is not enough to distract from its melting center and ever widening fissures. All shows written by Vince Gilligan on the other hand constantly move the story forward and are set on a strong trajectory. Because we believe Mr. Gilligan always ultimately knows where they are going and how they are going to end, he has yet to disappoint us.

Ted Lasso also suffered from a bit of a sophomore slump this time around. We like the show and honestly it has no real competition in the comedy arena right now except for Only Murders in the Building. But the first season’s storyline is stronger than the second and though we like the twist at the end of season two with the one character who had the most interesting arc, there was a good stretch of yawning in the middle. We think that if Only Murders in the Building does more with the Theo character, provides a much better villain than they had in season two (season one had a good solid villain), and continues to have more fantastic scenes like the glitter mishap it has the potential to outplay Ted.  

We have a love/hate relationship with Squid Game. We think it is intriguing and we understand the popularity and its ability to draw viewers in. We also think the characters are rather interesting to watch and although Bob Odenkirk lost to Lee Jung-jae there’s no doubt Lee Jung-jae does a great job on the show. That said, it is not designed to be excessively deep. Where shows like Severance or Better Call Saul or Saul’s predecessor Breaking Bad have more profound forays into the human psyche, this one plays a bit more on the surface. The constant killing, uber violence and relentless focus on games work to subtract from what could be a more profound story. In other words, Severance and Better Call Saul are for grownups. Squid Game is for adult children.

And with those thoughts, here is chapter sixteen of Corn Maze. Jouir!

Corn Maze

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter 16

Harley sat on his porch swing staring down the road Farley and Mallory had driven off on. Darkness surrounded him and he found himself alone listening to crickets. Their chirping made an empty lonely sound. The sound of isolation.

He picked up his can of Farmstrong Ale and finished it off. Then he rose, headed inside the house, and ascended the stairs. He opened the door of his old bedroom, leaned on the doorframe, and assessed the neat and orderly space. His bed was made up with plain blue sheets and a navy comforter. On his desk sat a coffee mug filled with pens and pencils. A robot alarm clock stood beside it. On top of his dresser were a couple of small trophies with marble bases. He moved over to his closet and slid open the wooden door. At the back corner beneath where his varsity jacket hung, he’d stored most of his high school souvenirs in a large footlocker. Sitting beside the footlocker was his trumpet case. He sighed when he saw it. He hadn’t played for the last couple of years. And he missed it.

In high school he and Farley had been rivals fighting for the coveted spot of first chair. They had switched back and forth each claiming the seat until Farley finally won. Then Farley decided he didn’t want to be in band anymore and Harley took over. The odd thing was, after Farley left Harley excelled. And he kept excelling well past what he and his band teacher thought was his potential. He even ended up with a partial music scholarship and became a member of his university’s marching band. But towards the end of his sophomore year of college, his interest in music began to wane. At his parent’s urging he spent his time fully devoted to Botany. Then quietly without their knowledge, he turned back to his childhood passion of art and completed a double major. But he missed band and all the memories tied to it.

He picked up the trumpet case and set it on his bed. He flipped open the latches and raised the lid. He lifted the instrument out of the case and put in the mouthpiece. His fingers worked the valves. He put it up to his lips and played several sour notes. Then he pulled up his desk chair and sat down. After a few more attempts he played the opening to “Your Latest Trick” by Dire Straits.   

Valerie grew tired of her studies and headed upstairs to Farley’s bedroom. She stepped into the large master bathroom with the dark bachelor-like interior, drew a glass of water, and took a couple of aspirin from a pill case she had in her handbag. She swallowed the medicine then returned to the bedroom and lay down on his king size bed. 

As she stared up at the ceiling, she wondered how many mornings she would wake up and see the same stark white surface after she married Farley. Did prisoners think the same thing when they lay in their cells at night?

What were Farley and Mallory doing right now, she wondered. Were they still having dinner? Were they at the movie theatre? Were they…? Did she care? Did it matter? Does one bad night make all that much difference to a relationship?

What if she left and went home right now and packed her bags and skipped town. Even with most of her money under Farley’s control could she disappear and start again? She was still young. Time was on her side. A change of scenery was possible.

Valerie closed her eyes and was assessing her options when she heard music playing. At first, she thought it was a car radio, then realized wherever the music was coming from it was close by. She rolled off the bed and approached the window. Looking outside she thought she spotted someone below. Was it a burglar? Of all the nights they had to pick this one to rob Farley’s house! She rushed to the dresser grabbed her phone out of her bag, dialed 911 returned to the window…and stopped. Suddenly, she realized the burglar was the one playing the music. She put down her phone, slowly opened the window and leaned on the sill.

Under the porchlight, Harley stood playing his trumpet. He looked up and saw Valerie watching him. He stopped momentarily. Then after a beat he began playing “Valerie” by Steve Winwood. It had been a long time since he’d performed that piece. And even longer since Valerie had heard it. She listened with an intensity she rarely gave anything. Her heart flooded with a forgotten warmth.

She turned and burst out of the bedroom, sailed down the stairs and threw open the front door. She rushed to the edge of the porch and stopped, her toes teetering on the top of the steps.

Harley saw her and ceased playing. He stood frozen, his trumpet down in front of him as he looked at her. He opened and shut his mouth a couple of times hoping his breath would release the words his mind was crying. He lifted the trumpet to his lips, hesitated, then continued playing the song. Valerie leaned against the pillar. She felt as if something long ago lost had been found.  

Harley finished playing and put down his trumpet. He could see she was shivering, from the cold…or something else. He stepped towards her. “Val,” he said, his voice hoarse.

Valerie floated off the porch and stopped. The chirping crickets filled the silence between them. She could see desperation in his face. “Do you think we could untie our knots, Harley?”

Harley took another step towards her. “Oh, Val, I…”

And then she ran to him. She threw her arms around his neck, and he hugged her close. She smelled like the night air and strawberries. His lips melted into hers. She tasted like hope and relief and finally for a moment all was right with the world.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE OLD MAN (2022)-FX & Hulu

One of the fun new shows this year is this well-cast thriller which bounces between the protagonist’s past and present. Based on the book of the same name by Thomas Perry it is the story of Dan Chase (Jeff Bridges) and young Dan Chase (Bill Heck), a widower retiree quietly living off the grid in upstate New York with his two large dogs. Dan occasionally chats on the phone with his twenty-something daughter who calls to check up on him. But as the show takes us in deeper, we find that Dan is anything but ordinary. He is former CIA and has a box of multiple driver’s licenses and large investments of cash in several different banks in several different locations.

After a home invasion, where Dan kills the perpetrator, he decides things have become too hot and he packs up his two dogs and heads out. He manages to land a living unit in a new location far away from his original home. The unit is rented out by a middle-aged woman named Zoe McDonald (Amy Brenneman). Zoe is personable and stable, and Dan takes a liking to her…or does he? The two go out on a date and romance starts to bloom until Zoe catches a glimpse of the darker side of Dan’s life and finds herself on the lamb with him.

Meanwhile, back at CIA headquarters, we meet grandfather and FBI Assistant Director for Counterintelligence Harold Harper (John Lithgow) and young FBI agent Angela Adams (Alia Shawkat). When Harper finds out his two agents who tried to capture Dan were overthrown their target, we begin to find out Dan and Harper have a complicated past.

The show is a lot of fun and the acting from this unbelievably talented cast is great. The fight scenes are well choreographed, and the taunt pace of the story keeps you coming back for more. If you are looking for a new thriller series to watch, check this one out.

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here on my usual Thursday to introduce Chapter Fifteen of my story Corn Maze. It is almost movie season again and the Maltese and I were delighted to see the trailer for what we think could be a forerunner for best film of the year, Weird: The Al Yankovic Story. I for one am a Weird Al fan and sat down and rewatched “Eat It” by Weird Al once again and marveled at his ingenuity. The Maltese is of course averse to such intellectual stimulation. As for me, I am embracing my curly poodle locks, have purchased a silk Hawaiian t-shirt from Tommy Bahama and have been listening to polka music. And with that thought here is Chapter 15 of Corn Maze.

Corn Maze

by

Gigi the Parti Poodle

Chapter Fifteen

Farley burst through the wooden doors of Nile’s Steak House and stumbled out into the parking lot with Mallory walking steadily beside him.

“You need to let me drive,” Mallory said.

“Don’t be stupid,” Farley slurred. “I can drive.”

“You’ve had eight shots of whiskey.”

“And they were all good.”

Mallory held out her hand. “Give me your keys or I will not get in the truck.”

“I like it when you’re…uh…bossy.”

“I’m not bossy.”

“Harley is whipped. He’s…he’s just whipped. Like a big old…creampuff!”

Mallory stopped at the truck, stuck her hand inside his jacket pocket, and pulled out his keys.

“Whoa!” Farley exclaimed trying to adjust his vision so he could examine the keys. “You’re like a magician or something!”

“Let’s go, Farley.”

“Why aren’t you drunk?”

“Because I sipped my whiskey. It’s a sipping whiskey so I sipped it.”

“How many shots did you have?”

“You should know. You paid the bill.”

“Bill, shmill. How many shots?”

“Two.”

“Two?”

“I sipped two shots total, and you drank the others you ordered for me.”

“How many shots did I…did I order?” he asked weaving around.

“You ordered two to start with; two for me and two for you. Then you ordered three more rounds and drank all six shots by yourself.”

“Wow! I’m a…a whatchamacallit…a lightweight.”

Mallory marched around the truck and opened the passenger side door. “Get in.”

“No. No, no, no. This is my truck, sister, and I’m a driving it!”

“Get in, Farley.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Farley staggered around to the passenger side threw his arms up and collapsed face first on the front seat. “Wow, that was hard,” he said punctuating his statement with a voluminous belch.

“Farley, I can’t drive with your door open and your feet dragging along the asphalt.”

“I’m stuck,” he said in a muffled tone.

“No, you’re not.”

“Did we have dessert?”

“We had the pumpkin cheesecake.”

“Was it any good?”

“It was excellent.”

“I want a slice.”

“We already had dessert, Farley.”

“I want more cheesecake, woman!”

“Don’t yell.”

“Fine! Just…you know what? If you…if you get me another piece of cheesecake, I’ll climb all the way back into the truck.”

Mallory put her hands on her hips and tapped the toe of her strappy heel. “You’ll be a good boy, get in the passenger’s seat and wait for me to get back?”

“Yes. I’ll be a good…a very good boy.”

“Because if you don’t, I’m going to keep the cheesecake for myself.”

“No!”

“Yes. Give me your wallet so I can buy the cheesecake.”

“Women! All they want is to reach into your pocket and not in a good way.”

Farley reached behind his back and tried to retrieve his billfold. He finally located it, but his fumbling fingers struggled to pull it out. Mallory rolled her eyes and jammed her hand into his back pocket and snatched the wallet.

“Do that again,” Farley said.

“Stay right here.”

“You could pay for the cheesecake with your own money you know, and I could pay you back.”

“Not a chance,” Mallory said and turned and strutted towards the entrance as Farley sprawled on the passenger side seat like he’d just been rolled. Mallory looked at her watch. Yes, this should work.

Mallory opened the heavy wooden door with the askew N’s carved on the rectangular wooden door handle and emerged from Nile’s Steak House. Her evening bag dangled from her left wrist and in her right hand she carried a cardboard to-go box. She click-clacked her heels up to the stall where Farley’s truck was parked…to find it was empty.

Stunned she set the cardboard to-go box on a nearby car and checked her handbag for the keys. They were still there. She held up the keys to examine them and they were indeed the correct ones. She whipped around to survey the parking lot to see if she had somehow wandered into the wrong stall. She hadn’t. She walked up and down the rows of cars trying to locate Farley’s truck, pushing the key’s button hoping for a honk. But her efforts were to no avail. Farley and his pickup were gone.  

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: GET SMART WITH MONEY (2002)-Netflix

Now that most schools have gotten back in session, it is interesting to consider there are two subjects the education system is reluctant to teach, at least in the public schools. Oddly, both disciplines are lifelong skills that will protect you. Firstly, is self-defense. Secondly, is financial literacy. This documentary is about the latter. Now, if you are someone who has dabbled in the stock market for a while and are excellent at saving and growing money, you’re probably not going to learn much about finance or investing. But if you are in your teens and twenties and don’t know where to start with your money, or if you are older than that and are simply financially illiterate, then this one is for you. Either way this documentary is an engaging ride.

As of May 2022, according to US News and World Report, 64% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. And this can be at any income level. If you were to read Stop Acting Rich…And Start Living Like a Real Millionaire by Thomas J. Stanley, you would find that an average schoolteacher is more likely to have accumulated millionaire wealth than an average lawyer. Sounds counterintuitive perhaps, and yet it’s true. Sometimes, with certain individuals, the more money that comes in the more money that goes out. Even highly educated, successful individuals have a difficult time with this and feel it necessary to buy the latest car, the newest technology, the best house in the best neighborhood, the trendiest fashions (see Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion by Elizabeth L. Cline). Ego gets in the way. Ego is your financial enemy.

The documentary shows four different financial planners each working with one individual or couple to help them get their assets in order. Each one has a different set of obstacles. Sometimes it’s overspending, sometimes its not taking advantage of your talents, sometimes it’s organizing your budget, and sometimes it’s fear of money. Its fascinating watching the four subjects grow and change their lives over the course of a year and the documentary stays engaging and interesting throughout.

Good afternoon. It is Thursday once again, and I am Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce Chapter Fourteen of Corn Maze. This week has been remarkably dull. I have done nothing of interest whatsoever. Except of course write. That is always of interest. The Maltese has also been dull, but then he always is. The one worrisome thing that occurred was my novelist procured a water gun. Perhaps I attack the Maltese too often, but I see no reason to squirt water in my direction. It is rather shocking if you must know. I’m merrily going along growling at that insipid beast and shwap! My hair is suddenly violated with water! I hardly like to take a bath and here she is shwapping me with water! I do not care for this use of militant punishment. I must strategize a way to cease it. Until then, here is chapter fourteen of Corn Maze. Enjoy!   

Corn Maze

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Fourteen

Farley pulled into the spacious Nile’s Steakhouse parking lot and killed the engine. Mallory was surprised at how opulent the restaurant looked for being in a small farming community. Farley disembarked the truck, jogged around to the passenger’s side, and held his hand out for Mallory who, delighted by this gentlemanly behavior, took it. His gesture did not go unnoticed by other nearby patrons who had come to dine at Nile’s that night. Mallory felt like the belle of the ball as she hooked her arm in Farley’s and they strode towards the large wooden doors. She noted the slightly askew capitol letter “N” carved into each of the vertical rectangular wooden handles. It gave the place a certain class.

Kelly, an attractive woman in her mid-thirties, saw them approach the hostess station and her eyes briefly widened before settling into a pleasant professional gaze.

“Hello, Kelly,” Farley said leaning on the desk and winking. “We have reservations.”

“Of course,” Kelly replied. She looked through the bookings on her monitor. “Here you are.” She grabbed two faux leather-bound menus from her desk and said, “Follow me.”

Although the booths in the restaurants were private alcoves, Farley felt the eyes of their patrons upon his controversial date and himself. Small towns are like that. Everyone is connected to everyone whether they want to be or not. Tonight, he wanted to be connected.

“Here we are,” Kelly said placing the menus on the table and stepping aside so they could slide into the booth. “Dawn will be your server this evening.”

“Fantastic,” Farley said.

“Enjoy your meal.”

Kelly left and Farley perused the menu. “What would you like to drink?” he asked Mallory.

“Champagne,” she said.

“They have an excellent whiskey selection.”

“I’m not a whiskey drinker…anymore.”

“Ah, but you were, huh?”

“Well, in my college days you know.”

“Which were yesterday.”

“I’d still prefer champagne.”

Dawn, a petite college age woman sporting a classic brunette bob hairstyle stopped at their booth. As she placed the two glasses of water balanced on her tray in front of them, she said, “How are you doing this evening?”

“Great, Dawn,” Farley said grinning. “How are you?”

“Fine, thank you. May I bring you something to drink?”

“We’ll each have a shot of Compass Box Hedonism,” Farley said.

“But I wanted…” Mallory started to say.

“Two shots of Hedonism,” Dawn said. “This evening we have a fillet mignon kabob made with local tomatoes and California green peppers served on a bed of wild rice. Our special appetizer tonight is bacon wrapped scallops and our dessert is a lovely French pumpkin cheesecake made with local pumpkins.”

“Sounds fantastic,” Farley said. “We’ll have the kabobs and house salads. And we’ll start off with the scallops and a breadbasket.”

“What kind of dressing on the salads?”

“Shallot vinaigrette.”

“Excellent. I’ll be right back with your whiskey.”

Dawn left and Mallory said to Farley, “I wanted champagne.”

“Need I remind you I won the bet. I got through your fiancé’s corn maze before he got through mine. So, being as I won a date with you, I decide what we eat and what we drink.”

Mallory narrowed her eyes then smiled. “Okay,” she said pleasantly.

Farley threw his arm around the back of the booth. “So, what made you decide to say yes to this bet?”

“What made you decide to propose it?”

Farley grinned. “I asked first.”

“Being engaged doesn’t mean you’re married.”

“You have an open engagement?”

Mallory furrowed her brow and chuckled. “No.”

“Yet here we are.”

“The deal was to go on a date. Sex was never implied.”

“The night is young.”

“Here’s your whiskey,” Dawn said returning to the table. She set a shot in front of Mallory and one in front of Farley. “And your wholegrain breadbasket.”

“Thank you,” Mallory said as Dawn set the basket in the middle of the table.  

“You’re welcome. Enjoy.”

“Your turn,” Mallory said when Dawn left.

“Try a sip of the whiskey,” Farley said.

Mallory took a sip. “Wow! That’s smooth!”

“Isn’t it though?”

“You have excellent taste.”

Farley smirked. “I do, don’t I.”

“Your turn.”

Farley knocked back his whiskey. “Harley and I were best friends in high school.”

“Best friends don’t usually make bets to date each other’s girlfriends.”

“Not usually.”

“So, you’re not friends.”

“No, we’re friends. We’re friends who disagree.”

“Disagree about what?”

“Details.”

“Details?”

“You haven’t even tasted this breadbasket,” he said reaching over, taking a roll, and nudging it towards her. “It’s the best I’ve ever had.”

Mallory looked at the bread then back at Farley. She removed a slice and buttered it. “Details is a vague word.”

“You’re a smart girl. You know what details are.”

“Of course, I know what details are. I just don’t know what you and Harley’s details are.”

“So, you met Harley in college.”

“We lived in the same dorm.”

“What did you study when you weren’t studying Harley?”

“Public Relations.”

“What’s a girl with a Public Relations degree doing on a farm?”

“What’s a smart boy like you doing as a farmer?”

Dawn returned and placed the appetizer on the table. “Here are your bacon wrapped scallops.”

“Those look tasty,” Mallory said.

“We’ll have another round of Hedonism,” Farley told Dawn.

“But I’ve barely touched my…”

“I’ll be right back with your whiskey,” Dawn said and left.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)-HBO Max

Throughout the fifties and sixties Tennessee William’s plays were beautifully brought to the screen, often, though not always, in glorious black and white. This film is the gold standard. Rich with metaphor, poetry, and symbolism it would be difficult to find many writers today who could write a play or film at William’s level. Most modern screenwriters are just not that deeply connected to their stories. And even in the best of today’s work there are glaring flaws. Not here.

Blanche Dubois (brilliantly played by Oscar winner Vivian Leigh) is not just a character. She is the representation of the dying southern aristocracy as well as William’s sister Rose Isabel Williams. I will not tell you more or it will ruin the story. After losing both her affluent estate and her job as a schoolteacher, the fragile but intelligent Blanche desperately takes sanctuary in the lowly world of the French Quarter of New Orleans. Her sister Stella (also well played by Kim Hunter) is sturdier than Blanche but not nearly as intuitive. She has managed to marry Stanley Kowalski (brilliantly and terrifyingly played by Marlon Brando), a low-rent psychopath who is more of an animal than a human and the representation of the new American industrial world. Like all psychopaths, Stanley is keenly focused on money and constantly goes on about the Napoleonic Code which basically says that what belongs to the wife belongs to the husband. He sees what is left of the sisters’ fortune in the form of Blanche’s clothes and jewelry and aims to own it all…and more. Mitch (Karl Malden in a fantastic performance), Stanley’s friend, is more refined than Stanley or his other coworkers. He becomes smitten with Blanche who takes a shine to him as well, but outside pressures threaten to drive a wedge between them.  

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter thirteen of Corn Maze. I have been most distressed this week as both my dog food and Aquadent are out of stock. My novelist has had to hunt down alternatives to take their place and they are just not the same. The whole affair has caused me to turn into something that is not my usual self. Without my proper dog food and breath freshener I am lost. You get used to a regular meal. You come to depend on premium fare. You expect it at the same time every day. Then suddenly it’s no longer available. I’m in near tears. I think I might just go mad. I cannot live on this subpar sustenance. When will my haute cuisine return? What shall I do? How shall I live?

You could eat my dog food.

Zip it, Tucker! You’d devour Alpo if it was fed to you!

Alpo is tasty.

Get out of here! Leave me to wallow in my misery, you heinous vermin. And with that, here is chapter thirteen of Corn Maze. Bon Appetit!

Corn Maze

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Thirteen

Valerie sat at Farley’s kitchen table staring at her textbooks. This was the worst time of the day. The late afternoon to early evening. The time of day when a horrible sense of dread set in, a strained hopeless mood that she couldn’t quite describe. And Farley capitalized on it. He’d insisted she come over. She’d consented.

“I need you to help me pick out what to wear,” Farley said marching into the kitchen.

“I never agreed to this bet,” Valerie said. “I’m not going to pick out anything for you.”

“But you didn’t stop it either, now did you?”

“As a matter of fact, I did.”

“Yeah, how?”

“I told Harley you were out to ruin his life and make a cuckold out of him.”

“Hard to make him into a cuckold seeing as he isn’t married. Come on.” Farley nodded his head towards the stairs. Valerie watched him for a moment and then reluctantly followed him up the steps to his bedroom. He walked over to his walk-in closet. He pulled out a black dress shirt and a midnight blue dress shirt and held them up for her to see. “Black or blue? Or are you feeling a little bit of both?”

“Doesn’t matter. Darkness becomes you.”

Farley took a step towards her. “See how well we play off each other? Two peas in the same pod. “You think Harley and Mallory are like us? Not a chance.”

“Go with the black shirt.”

He grinned and leaned in to kiss her, but she turned away from him. He scoffed. “Yeah, be like that. It’s not going to change anything.” He plopped down on his bed and pulled on his Tony Lama cowboy boots. “I’m going out on a proper date, and you can sit here and think about where I am and what I’m doing. Enjoy your studies. I know I’m going to enjoy mine.”

Farley skipped up the porch steps to Harley’s door. He wore the black dress shirt open at the neck and a matching pair of black jeans. He held a bouquet of flowers he’d bought at the supermarket and reeked of his best cologne.

Harley opened the door and glared at Farley.

“Hello Harley,” Farley said smugly adjusting his Stetson hat. “I’m here for my big date.”

“Get off my porch,” Harley said and pushed Farley backwards.

Farley stumbled and almost fell. He laughed and said, “Someone’s a sore loser.”

“Get out of here. The deal’s off.”

“Oh, no. This deal is sealed. Now, go tell your fiancé her date is here.”

“Here I am!”

Mallory danced up to the screen door. She wore a light orange dress with a low neckline and a high slit. Farley raised an eyebrow. “My, my,” he said. “Aren’t you a sight to behold?”

Mallory beamed. “Why thank you,” she said.

“Doesn’t seem like your fiancé has a problem with the situation,” Farley told Harley.

Harley advanced on Farley causing Farley to tumble backwards onto his ass. Before Farley could get up Harley lurched at him. Farley hopped to his feet and the two men circled each other.

“Stop it!” Mallory yelled stomping her strappy high heeled sandal.

“Can’t get out of it,” Farley told Harley. “Mallory agreed to the outcome of the bet.”

“Valerie didn’t!” Harley growled.

“Doesn’t matter. She’s not the one going on the date.”

“Let it go, Harley!” Mallory said.

“You’re just going to let this creep take advantage of you?!” Harley said turning towards her.

“He’s not going to do anything I don’t want him to do.”

“You don’t know this guy! You don’t know what he’s capable of!”

Mallory looked at Farley and back at Harley. “I guess I’m going to find out,” she said and descended the porch steps.

Harley marched up to her blocking Farley. “Don’t go out with him.”

Mallory turned and looked at him. “You agreed to this bet too. And you lost.”

“Mallory…”

“We both agreed. Now, go back inside and stop beating up my date.”

“You heard the lady,” Farley said standing up and dusting himself off. “We’re leaving.”

Harley, his stomach tying into anxious knots, watched them walk away from him and hop into Farley’s black truck. Farley backed up the pickup and Harley lurched towards it then broke into a sprint as it sped off stirring up dust. He stood helplessly watching it barrel down the driveway until it was no longer visible.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING (2021)-Hulu

One of the most enjoyable shows to watch these days is this wonderfully droll sharply written gem from Steve Martin and John Hoffman. All three of its leads are outstanding in their parts especially Martin Short who gets most of the funny lines. The show takes place in an upscale apartment building in New York City called The Arconia where Charles-Haden Savage (Steve Martin) a very private former television star lives and has no desire to commiserate with his fellow tenants. Oliver Putnam (Martin Short) is a successful effervescent Broadway director who is always up for a bit of fun and is dealing with his own demons namely his dwindling bank account and lack of work. Mabel Mora (Selina Gomez) is a broke twenty-something woman who is renovating and living in her aunt’s apartment. As the story begins Mabel’s childhood friend Tim Kono (Julian Cihi) also a tenant of the Arconia is murdered.

The murder binds these three strangers together who are all secretly fascinated by true crime. They team up to figure out who killed Tim and during their journey decide to start a podcast together. Joining them is quirky bassoonist Jan (Amy Ryan who is excellent in the role) who also lives in the building and shares their interest in the crime.

I will say the first season is superior to the second both because the plot is stronger and because the supporting characters are more vivid. Especially intriguing are Teddy Dimas (Nathan Lane) and his son Theo Dimas (James Caverly). Theo is around the same age as Mabel and has shared similar history with her in the building. Why they don’t have more scenes together is beyond me as the best two episodes of season two are episode six Performance View and episode seven Flipping the Pieces. The best episode from season one is episode seven The Boy From 6B which features Theo. Also, Detective Kreps (Michael Rappaport) is not used nearly enough in season two where some other characters are on the screen too long.

All in all, this is a very entertaining show, easy to binge, and well worthy of its seventeen Emmy nominations. And we get to see Steve Martin do some wonderful physical comedy which alone is well worth the watch.

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here once again on my usual Thursday to introduce chapter twelve of my story Corn Maze. My, but this has been a most eventful week. My novelist, the Maltese, and I all took a trip to the lake. We stayed at a marvelous little cottage on the water. It is a quiet and peaceful place where I can gather my thoughts and be creative. I got more work done than I thought I would. Though I did get a wild hare and charged at the Maltese to clear my mind and think better. My novelist did not take kindly to my outburst and relegated me to the corner where I was told to think about my actions. We took a lovely drive and looked at the landscape. I stole my novelist’s neck pillow and claimed it as my own. I cannot resist microbeads. They are soft and comfortable and conform perfectly to my slender form. My novelist even treated us to new dog snacks which I must say were a welcome adventure to my palate. They made my tastebuds zing. And I had the good fortune of meeting a Jerusalem Cricket and not getting bitten. But alas, all excursions must come to an end but not without reward. And I pass that reward on to you, dear reader. Here then is chapter twelve of Corn Maze. By the way, here is a picture of me at the cottage:

Corn Maze

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Twelve

The crowd was huge. So huge in fact that people were selling tickets outside the makeshift gates for three times face value. Farley couldn’t believe how lucrative this had become. And he was thrilled. Thrilled like he’d been in high school when he and the rest of the football team took the field. The cheerleaders shaking their pompoms, the stands loaded with fans, everyone raring to see the big game. There was nothing like winning in front of witnesses.

Meanwhile, over at Farley’s corn maze entrance stood Harley. This just might be the worst day of his life he thought. Embarrassment and fear tangled inside of him. He felt certain everyone knew why he was here and what this bet was about. He felt Mallory’s cold smile sear his back. She wanted him to lose, and he knew it. In his heart he knew he shouldn’t have asked her to marry him. In his heart he knew Farley was right. He and Valerie had unfinished business.

Malory stood at the front of the crowd waiting for the race to begin. She wished she were standing in front of Harley’s corn maze cheering Farley on. She knew it would look bad rooting for Valerie’s fiancé instead of her own. But she had to be here to keep up appearances. And keep up appearances she would. Though deep in her heart she knew she was cheering for Farley and waiting for him to win.

Valerie stood in the front row at Harley’s corn maze. She knew Farley was going to cheat. He’d probably cheated already. Somehow, someway he’d figured out the fastest path through Harley’s maze. She didn’t know how or all the particulars, but she knew he knew. The question was what happened to her when he won.  

A triangle rang out over the loudspeakers.

“Alright, everyone!” Roy announced. He wore a white suit, matching cowboy hat and sterling silver turquoise bolo. “Welcome, welcome! My, don’t we have a fine turnout here today! I think this might be the biggest turnout I’ve ever seen at a corn maze event!” Roy stood on a large wooden platform on a trailer attached to the back of a semi-truck. Colorful green and white fabric decorations covered the front and off to the left-hand side stood large speakers and a state-of-the-art sound system. “As you can see, we’ve got a couple of gorgeous corn mazes here all cut and ready to go. They sure look pretty, don’t they? Don’t y’all think they look pretty?”

The crowd cheered.

Roy turned to the kid near the speakers. The kid was a local country boy dressed in a t-shirt and cargo shorts. “You’re going to need to get Floyd,” Roy told the kid.

“Floyd?” the kid asked.

“Yes, Floyd.”

“Okay. I’ll get Floyd.”

The kid typed something on his laptop keyboard.

“Alright folks! Let’s get this race on the road! Farley! Harley! I want you to take your marks there at the front of your corn mazes. Judges, are they on their marks?”

The judge stationed at the entry point of Harley’s maze with Farley called back to the man on the truck who said into his phone, “Yes!” his response booming out over the speakers.

“Henry,” the man said to the judge stationed at the entry point of Farley’s maze by Harley, “is Harley on his mark?”

Henry called back to the man on the truck near him. “Yes!” the man said into his phone which also boomed out over the speakers.

“Well then, folks! It’s time to start this race. Whichever contestant gets through the other’s maze first wins the competition.” Roy covered his microphone and leaned down to the kid manning the speaker system and said, “Kid, did you get ahold of Floyd?”

“Yep,” the kid said. “Floyd’s ready.”

“Fantastic!” Then he said into the speaker. “Judges! Raise your pistols in the air! Farley and Harley,” get ready to run! On your marks…get set…Go!”

The moment he said, “Go!” the kid blasted “Run Like Hell” by Pink Floyd over the loudspeakers. The crowd went crazy cheering and yelling for their favorite competitor.   

Harley’s hands sweat and his heart raced as he burst into the crackling stalks. The first urge he had was to get in deep enough so the crowd couldn’t see him. But he knew drones were flying overhead plastering him up on huge screens for the crowd. He pressed forwards, the loud rustling of the corn blaring in his ears.

Farley’s first urge when he entered the maze was to wave at the drones which he did. He heard the crowd cheer and he grinned. Yeah, he thought, old Harley can have an earful of that.

Harley heard the noise and figured Farley had riled up the crowd. But he let it slide. He had started to find his stride and picked up the pace. He was certain from studying Farley’s corn maze designs from years past at the library where all winning mazes were required to publish their blueprints, they all had similar patterns to them. And even though this was the most complex one Farley had ever designed; those same patterns were weaved into it. The question was could he figure out the patterns fast enough. There seemed to be a left, left, left, right scheme in each design. Almost like a trademark.

Farley had spent the past month studying the photos taken from Bud’s Piper. He knew Harley’s maze like the back of his hand now. He didn’t even need a map. The path was easy and clear. Well…not easy. Harley’s maze was surprisingly impressive. At least when he first glanced at it. Now it was child’s play. Like watching a movie over and over till nothing came as a surprise. He turned right, right, right, left. He paused here and there just to make it look good to the drones. Just to make it look like he was working. He could almost taste Mallory’s lips already. This was going to be fun.

Harley careened right racing through the stalks. His swift move led him to a wall of corn, and he stopped short. Then he whipped around, hurried backwards, and careened left and found the same thing. A horrid feeling of dread shot through him. He’d reached a dead end, and everyone was watching it via the drone hovering above his head. He stopped and listened to his breathing. How far would he have to go back to get out?

Mallory watched the big screen TV and saw Farley moving smoothly through her fiancé’s maze. Not perfectly mind you but smoothly…and expertly. His confidence intrigued her, and she could not wait until their date.

A crestfallen Valerie watched Harley on the big screen. It was like seeing a confused mouse trapped in a science experiment bumping into walls. Come on, Harley she thought. Come on…

Farley knew he’d made it to the center of Harley’s maze. The calm in the middle of the storm. There was a left curving pattern up ahead then a sharp right, an arrowhead to the right, a right forward to the left and then on to the final few turns before the exit. Piece of cake.

Harley banked a left corner backwards and found himself returning to the fork in Farley’s corn maze. Left, he thought. This time go left. He bent sinister and found himself back on track. He veered left, a sharp right, left again and then left again. Yes, he thought. That makes sense. Why hadn’t he seen that pattern before? Classic Farley.

On the big screen Mallory saw Harley catching up with Farley taking her by surprise. One minute Harley’s lost and now he’s gaining ground. This made her anxious. Maybe she shouldn’t have gone to Farley’s house last night. Maybe she’d underestimated Harley.

Valerie saw the same thing and her heart leapt. Maybe Harley would make good on his word after all. Maybe this time he really would win.

Farley knew he was approaching the end of the tunnel. He moved like a roadrunner through Harley’s maze now. He’d given his competitor enough time to keep from embarrassing himself. Now, it was time to move through the stalks like a low flying hawk closing in on its prey. Right, right, right, left, right, right, left. In his head the rhythm jingled in his ears.

Harley hit his stride whooshing through the stalks calling on the paths he’d learned in his head from studying Farley’s mazes at the library. Left, left, left, right, left, left, right.

Mallory bounced on the balls of her feet as she watched Farley gain speed. “Go!” she cried. “Go, go, go!”

Valerie wrang her hands as she watched the big screens. The two men were in the final stretch. Farley was almost at the exit of Harley’s maze, but Harley was gaining speed. “Faster,” she whispered. “Go faster…”

The rustling of the stalks filled the crowd’s ears as the two men closed in on the exits. The cheers were deafening. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh!

“And their closing in on the finish!” Roy screamed over the sound system. “Here they come folks! Here they come!”

Farley could taste his escape like it was a fresh baked cherry pie. He turned a right corner and there it was! The light at the end of the tunnel. He kicked into gear and…

Harley took another left, another left, another right, and then…there it was! There it…!

The howling crowd raised their noise up ten more decibels as the winner came bursting through the stalks.

“There he is!” Roy yelled. “There’s our winner!”

The crowd charged towards the winner who threw his arms into the air and bounded around.

Valerie’s mouth dropped in disbelief astonished at what she was witnessing. This couldn’t be happening. This could not be happening.

Mallory dropped her jaw and screamed louder than she’d ever screamed before.

Trapped inside the stalks the loser fell to his knees, the smell of dirt filling his nostrils. Right at the end he’d taken the wrong turn and run into a wall of corn. He bowed his head and hid his face as he listened to the cheers from the crowd outside as the drone buzzed around above him. He’d won he thought. Once again Farley had won.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: LICORICE PIZZA (2021)-Amazon Prime

I recommend this week’s movie with a touch of caution as it is not for all audiences. Not because it is explicit which it is not, but because it is a bit on the unusual side as far as its storytelling structure goes. This is the film debut for both it’s stars Alana Haim and Cooper Hoffman (son of the late Philip Seymore Hoffman who acted in many of Anderson’s films), and they have fantastic chemistry here. Paul Thomas Anderson said he came up with the idea when he saw a middle school boy nagging a school photographer. He took the concept and spun the genesis with autobiographical stories told to him by his friend Gary Goetzman whose life entailed many of the events that occur in the film.

Set in the early 1970’s in the San Fernando Valley Alanna Kane (Alana Haim), a young woman in her early mid-twenties finds herself bored and working as a school photographer’s assistant. While doing a gig at a high school she is hit on by Gary Valentine (Cooper Hoffman), a sophomore who takes an instant shine to her. Gary, who is quite the hustler, convinces Alanna to join him for dinner. She agrees but because the age difference between them makes it clear that this is a friendship only situation. However, their friendship begins to blossom, and they find themselves involved in many escapades together like her chaperoning him so he can take an airplane to do a press tour for a play he was in with a famous actress (based on Lucille Ball), buying a waterbed store, dealing with aging Hollywood stars Jack Holden based on William Holden (Sean Penn) and Rex Blau based on director Mark Robson (Tom Waits) and crazed film director Jon Peters based on Jon Peters (Bradley Cooper).

The film remains entertaining but is more of a slice of life story than a plot so if plot is what you’re looking for here you aren’t really going to find it. It is more of an exploration of two young people who are not really suited for each other finding out they suit each other remarkably well as they live their lives in a somewhat sleazy somewhat magical California.

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here once again on a summer Thursday to introduce the eleventh chapter of my story Corn Maze. This week my novelist and I came across a Stacker article called the 100 Best Films of All Time According to Data. Here were their criteria:

“To explore the 100 best films of all time, Stacker analyzed IMDb ratings and Metascores to create a unique score equally weighting the two. Only English-language movies released in the U.S. were considered for the list. Additionally, each movie needed at least 20,000 votes on IMDb, and if the movie didn’t have a Metascore, it was not included.”-Stacker

Sadly, we found only sixty films on the list we thought solidly worthy of the honor of best films of all time. This made us concerned that perhaps American movie watchers may not be viewing a large enough collection of quality work. And this is despite their enormous access to streaming content. We decided, therefore, to find and comprise a list of eighty-five English-language films released in the U.S. of all of which we believe were as good and, in most cases, better than the forty that did make the list. And on that sad note, here is chapter eleven of Corn Maze, and here is our list of eighty-five stellar films that failed to make the cut:

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

Fargo

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Lawrence of Arabia

Rocky

The Bridge on the River Kwai

Patton

A Place in the Sun

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

High Noon

A Clockwork Orange

Midnight Cowboy

Precious

Jaws

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

The Graduate

Doctor Zhivago

It Happened One Night

The African Queen

Flight of the Phoenix (original)

The Sound of Music

West Side Story (original)

Full Metal Jacket

Sunset Boulevard

In the Heat of the Night

The Hustler

Dog Day Afternoon

The Terminator

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Harold and Maude

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

To Kill a Mockingbird

From Here to Eternity

Unforgiven

Memento

Dances With Wolves

Bonnie and Clyde

The Deer Hunter

Giant

Shane

American Graffiti

The Third Man

Rebel Without a Cause

Leaving Las Vegas

2001: A Space Odyssey

Ben-Hur

Dances with Wolves

Spartacus

Easy Rider

Rebecca

The Defiant Ones

Deliverance

All the President’s Men

They Shoot Horses Don’t They?

Tootsie

Forest Gump

Five Easy Pieces

The Conversation

Witness

Good Will Hunting

Hoosiers

Stalag 17

Paper Moon

Strangers on a Train

The Usual Suspects

My Man Godfry

Marty

Mississippi Burning

The Magnificent Ambersons

The Third Man

Blue Velvet

Zodiac

A History of Violence

The Royal Tenenbaums

Lost in Translation

Raging Bull

An American in Paris

Blade Runner

Sling Blade

Laura

The Shop Around the Corner

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Easy Rider

Sideways

Corn Maze

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Eleven

The night before the competition, Mallory skipped up the steps to Farley’s porch and knocked on the door. When she didn’t get a response, she knocked again. And when she still didn’t get a response, she knocked a third time.

Finally, Farley shuffled around the corner in his green flip flops as he wrapped his black terrycloth robe around himself. He yawned as he tied the belt and stepped up to the door. He opened it and looked through the screen. Upon finding Mallory there a large, crooked grin stretched across his face. He stepped out onto the porch and said, “Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.”

“I wanted to talk to you before the race tomorrow,” Mallory said.

“Why, surely. Talk.”

“I’d like to go over the ramifications of the bet.”

“Oh, I think we went over the ramifications of the bet a while ago, Mallory.”

“You and I both know you’re going to win.”

“And how do you come to that conclusion?”

“Your maze is better than Harley’s.”

“Shouldn’t you be rooting for your fiancé?”

Mallory smiled wryly. “Aren’t you the slightest bit curious why I agreed to this contest?”

Farley yawned. “Maybe.”

“Because men like you get what they deserve.”

Farley leaned against the doorway and folded his arms. “Do they now?”

“They do indeed. And you were right. I was flirting with you when I first arrived here and asked for directions.”

“My impression from the dinner party was you’re not keen on going out with me.”

“What was I supposed to say with my fiancé sitting right there? How would that have looked if I hadn’t put up a fight?”

“You have a point.”

“I want you to know I’m going to make sure our date is a night you’ll never forget.”

Farley laughed. “And what does Harley think of that?”

“Probably the same thing you think about Harley winning. If he could win that is.”

Farley pushed off the door frame, took a step into her and said, “So, how long have you known old Harley?”

“Almost two years.”

“When did he ask you to marry him?”

“Oh, he didn’t ask me. I told him I wanted a ring.”

“When was that?”

“Right before we moved here.”

“You went out for two years and he never asked you to marry him?”

“What difference does it make who asks whom? Point is we’re engaged.”

Farley held his hand out and gestured towards hers. “May I?”

Mallory smiled coyly and extended her left hand. Farley took it and studied the engagement ring. “My, that is a small diamond.”

Mallory pulled her hand away. “I love it. Harley picked it out.”

“I’ll bet he did. I’ll bet there wasn’t a smaller one to be found.”

“It’s not the size it’s the quality,” Mallory said tersely.

“Maybe it’s both.”

“Valerie doesn’t seem impressed.”

“And why do you say that?”

“Well, she doesn’t live here, now does she.”

Farley crossed his arms. “She will.”

“Under the circumstances I find it peculiar you’d propose such an odd competition. One might think you’re desperate.”

“Desperate for what?”

“Valerie.”

Farley narrowed his eyes. “It’s late. You should go home to your fiancé. We’ve both got a big day tomorrow.”

“Like I said, when you win, I’ll make it a night you’ll never forget.”

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: THIRTEEN LIVES (2022)-Amazon Prime

Prime Video has just released a fantastic new film. Fueled by a stellar cast and superb direction by veteran Ron Howard this fact-based tension filled story is an absolute must see.

One afternoon after their junior football/soccer match a group of twelve boys decide to go spelunking in the Tham Luang caves before attending the birthday party of one of the boys. Their young coach tells them he will go along to keep them safe. But an unexpected turn in the weather changes everything as monsoon season decides to come early… and fast. Soon the boys’ parents are wondering why they haven’t come home from the party and quickly a rescue party is formed at the park.

World class British cave divers Richard Stanton (Viggo Mortenson) and John Volanthen (Colin Farrell) are called to assist the Navy Seals in locating and rescuing the boys and their coach. But upon discovering their location is a brutal and treacherous 7-8 hour swim a rescue seems bleak. That is until Stanton comes up with the unconventional idea of adding to the crew Richard “Harry” Harris (Joel Edgerton) an Australian cave diver with an unusual skill.

The claustrophobic underwater scenes shot by cinematographer Sayombhu Mukdeeprom are outstanding. And his work, as well as Ron Howard’s should (hopefully) be remembered come Oscar season.