Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here once again to deliver the seventh installment in my new story Alanna the Piranha. It has been a most wet week here. I have not been getting the walkies I am used to. Even though I am a poodle, and my breed’s name derives from the German Pudel meaning “to splash in the water”, I detest walking in adverse weather conditions. But when there have been breaks in the weather I have gone out and about the neighborhood. I love fall’s scenery with all the leaves turning a myriad of colors. I even find myself chasing a random wild bunny or squirrel preparing for winter if the mood hits me. But most importantly of all is this Sunday daylight savings time ends and I can sleep in an extra hour, so I have more energy to command the Maltese who is far beneath me. And with that, here is my seventh chapter of Alanna the Piranha. Genießen Sie diese fröhliche Geschichte!

Alanna the Piranha

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Day the Seventh

I am visiting Stacy at her dorm again today. This time I am bringing a genuine care package. I put everything in a nice box like my mom told me to, just like the ones she packs for Stacy. I am even bringing a mini care package for her roommate Brooke. I’ve now learned that chicks dig gifts.

I show up at a quarter to three. I know they are both out of classes for the day and should be studying in their room. I get out of the car, open the trunk, and whip out a wheel crate, the metal type you might strap luggage to and drag around an airport. I set Stacy’s box on the bottom and Brooke’s on the top. Then I tow the crate across the bricks and paved surfaces of the campus.

When I get to Stacy’s dorm, I text her to let her know I’m coming up and then I head inside. I stop in front of her dorm room and I’m just about to knock when the door flies open. Brooke is standing there wearing an oversized hoodie with the university’s insignia on it and a pair of matching gym shorts. She looks just about as perturbed as she did the last time I visited.

“Stacy said you had something for us,” she says.

The tone of her voice makes me feel like I’m doing a drug trade with a professional criminal.

“My mom wasn’t happy with the last care package I brought you guys, so she wanted me to deliver a better one.”

“Stacy’s not here right now. She has dance team practice.”

“Oh, really? Well, I thought I could just drop it off.”

“Put it on her bed.”

“Okay,” I say, surprised and relieved at being granted access into the room. I unstrap the bungee cords and hand the smaller box on top to her. “My mom wanted you to have this,” I say.

“What is it?”

“A mini care package she put together for you.” Brooke eyes me warily and grabs a pair of Scotch sheers she most likely acquired from Costco. She cuts the tape, pushes away the glitter accented tissue paper, and looks inside. She finds a small factory sealed box of See’s Chocolate Truffles, a pair of Hot Socks with kittens on them, a Beanie Baby husky, a tube of Tom’s toothpaste, a lavender toothbrush, a bar of French milled soap wrapped in cellophane, a Nordstrom brand wash cloth and a four pack of Poketo gel pens.

She stares at the bounty awestruck as I’d hoped she would. “Wow,” she exclaims. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Do you hate it?”

“My own mother doesn’t even send me things like this. Tell Stacy’s mom thank you. She didn’t have to do that.”

She didn’t, I think to myself, proud of fooling her. “I’ll let her know you liked them,” I say. “I was wondering if I could use your bathroom.”

“Sure,” she says and points towards the back.

I check the pocket of my knock-off Member’s Only jacket I picked up at Costco and make sure my Ziploc bag is inside the left pocket. I head back towards the small room and close the door. Just as I suspected what I am looking for is sitting on the counter in a wicker basket: Brooke’s hairbrush. I remove a pair of medical gloves from the right-side pocket of my jacket. I slip them on as quietly as possible. I take out my empty Ziploc bag and draw the closure back. I pick up the hairbrush and pluck the strands of Brooke’s hair out of it and carefully place them in the bag.

Suddenly, I hear the latch to the door room click followed by Stacy’s voice. I move quickly making sure I get a large enough sample of the hair before I press all the air out of the bag, seal it shut and put it back in my jacket pocket. I flush the toilet then turn on the water just to make things sound authentic.

“What’s this?” Stacy demands the moment I step back into the main room.

“Your mother wanted me to bring you a properly put together care package.”

“My mother always ships my care packages to me.”

“She is punishing me for the toothpaste and candy bar fiasco.”

Stacy narrows her eyes. “Whatever,” she says. “You’ve dropped off the box and defiled our bathroom. Now, get out.”

“As you wish,” I say. “Brooke, it was a pleasure.”

“Don’t forget to tell Stacy’s mom thank you.”

“For what?” Stacy asks.

“Your mom packed me a care package as well.”

“Seriously?”

“Look.”

She picks up the smaller box and shows it to my sister.

“Huh,” Stacy says. Then she grimaces at me. “How come Brooke’s chocolates are wrapped and mine aren’t?”

“Your mom didn’t know which ones Brooke would like. So, she got the prewrapped one for her.”

“There’s a couple in here she never gets me.”

“How do you know?”

“Don’t you know how to read the tops of chocolates?”

“That’s a thing?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I think it’s sweet your mother did this for us,” Brooke tells Stacy.

Stacy looks at Brooke and then back at me. I give Stacy a smug look. “See you later, Stacy. Brooke, it was a pleasure.”

I leave the room and head home to add Brooke’s hair to my experiment. 

My Books

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: DOG DAY AFTERNOON (1975)-HBO Max

Nominated for six academy awards and rightly winning for best original screenplay, Sidney Lumet’s Dog Day Afternoon is one of the great must see American films. Based on a true story about three would-be bank robbers who tried to pull off a quick ten-minute job at a Chase Manhattan bank in Brooklyn on a sweltering in August 1972, their goal was to score between $150,000 to $200,000 which they expected to be delivered in an armored truck at 3:30 pm. They entered the bank at 3:00 pm to arrive in time for the drop off. Instead, they found out that at 11:00 am that morning the truck had instead picked up the money leaving the bank with only $29,000. One of the three men decided not to carry out the robbery and left shortly after they arrived at the bank. The events that happened involving the remaining two became history. Both Al Pacino and John Cazale give extraordinary performances as Sonny and Sal, the two would-be bank robbers who become the center of an unexpected media circus. If you have never seen this modern classic and all you watch are mindless overproduced superhero movies, this is a fantastic opportunity to see how real cinema is done.