Save the Bunnies

Good evening. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. As you may remember from last time all of us in the van were stunned by Bernard D. Bunny landing on the hood of the car with a distressed look upon his adorable furry face. His whiskers twitched wildly as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. He tapped aggressively on the windshield with his paw. “Let us in! Let us in!”

It was then that I saw his little sister Belle peek over his shoulder, her eyes wide and frightened as she clung to his back.

“Open the door, Ruffles,” I told Ruffles the bulldog. “They are in danger!”

“But the kidnappers are getting ready to leave,” he said.

“Open the door!”

“We’ll never find my sister if you let them in,” Artemis said.

“Open the passenger side door,” I said. “They won’t see us.”

“We need to leave the bunnies behind,” Charlotte the Chow said.

How utterly unreasonable. I leaped into the front seat and pressed the button on the door. The window lowered and our dearest two bunnies hopped inside. As soon as Belle’s cotton tail had cleared the glass, a snarling blur of angry jaws and claws lurched at the window, its long vicious snout poked inside. But what was most disturbing was the creature’s loud piercing howl.

As soon as it began to wail, the woman in the camo and the tattooed man whipped their heads around in our direction. This was one of the only times in my life I felt smart and stylish to be riding in a van with tinted mirrored windows. Through my opera glasses I could see them both mouth the word “coyote”. And by the look of the size of the monster, I could tell it was the dreaded Crispin.

“My word,” Madeline the British Shorthair said. “It’s a werewolf!”

“There are no such things as werewolves,” Edison the Manx assured her. “But that thing is horrifying!”

For the first time I have ever known them the dachshund twins were frozen in place. Their eyes wide with terror.

“They’re starting up the engine!” Artemis said pointing her paw towards the van. “We need to go!”

“She’s right,” Ruffles said. “We need to go!”

Suddenly, Crispin jumped on the hood of the van, his breath blasting steam on the window.

“They’re looking our way,” Ruffles said.

“Don’t move till they move,” Charlotte the Chow said. “Pretend we aren’t even here.”

“Give me those rabbits!” Crispin demanded, his bark was harsh and sharp.

“Certainly not,” I barked back. “You have no right to eat our friends.”

“I’ll eat you too,” he barked with menace.

“Don’t be absurd. That would be cannibalism.”

“A sarcastic poodle. Why am I not surprised?”

“We’re busy here. Try and remember you’re an omnivore and go eat some fruit, you uncouth twit.”

“They’re leaving,” Ruffles said.

“Drive!” Artemis yelled.

“We’re not done, poodle,” Crispin said sliding his paws off the door.

“We are for now,” I said as Ruffles hit the gas. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: GOOD BOY (2025)-HULU

After featuring a handful of television shows on the blog, I am going to turn the spotlight onto some recent films which have finally come to streaming. This first one is a sleeper of an Indi-movie with a new twist on the old monster in the house story. And unlike a lot of horror stories out there, this one has an unusual sweetness and depth you don’t often find in these types of films.

In his break-out performance Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever Indy who plays, well, Indy is the beloved and loyal companion of Todd (Shane Jensen). The story is seen entirely through Indy’s perspective. Todd is not doing well. When we first meet him, he is lying on his couch unconscious, blood leaking out of his mouth. His sister Vera (Arielle Friedman) finds him along with Indy who refuses to leave his side. Vera quickly gets him ushered to the hospital but not long after, Todd is released. He heads home with Indy and packs a couple of suitcases, throws them in the back of his car and he and Indy head out to a house in the woods that belonged to he and Vera’s grandfather.

Vera calls Todd and says she wants to come over and check on her brother, but Todd tells his sister he dreads every time the phone rings and it is her. The two discuss how the house is thought to be haunted and there is some indication their grandpa (Larry Fessenden) did not die under the best of circumstances. In addition, in their conversation they briefly discuss how sensitive dogs are and how much more alert to things humans often miss. Indy immediately starts to pick up signals something is wrong such as Bandit (Max) grandpa’s dog showing up and leading Indy to eerie parts of the house.

Crispin

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. As you may remember the kidnapper was going to sell “the Persian”, or in other words Demeter, to a buyer on the black market. The other Canis lupus familiaris and Felis catus and I are going over to the house in Ruffle’s owner’s van, and we plan to follow the black-market customers just as soon as—

“I have news.”

“Bernard D. Bunny? What is it?”

“Crispin.”

“Crispin? You mean—”

“Yes.  Do you want me to tell them or should I?”

“I shall. Dear reader, the following words I tell you are most chilling. As you may remember from the beginning of this catnapping tale, Bernard had mentioned coyote sightings in our neighborhood and how he had to stay back at his hutch to protect his little sister Belle Bunny. There have been coyotes that come and go but the most disturbing one of them all is Crispin Z. Coyote.

Crispin is a Goliath amongst the Canis latrans. My novelist once witnessed him wolfing down a squirrel from the ears to the tail which dangled out of his mouth momentarily before it was ghoulishly devoured whole. My novelist forced me to go outside continuously with a harness and a leash for a while after that. The monster was also spotted nearby having mangled and munched on a bunny. He is a bloodthirsty beast with neither morals nor mercy.

After my novelist witnessed the terror and spoke to me about the dangers, I had a nightmare about Crispin. I was sleeping quietly, curled up next to my novelist on my soft blanket which I always make into a nest. The blinds were closed and the soft music my novelist likes to play at night had stopped. Suddenly, I heard something. My ears perked up and I listened intensely. Something was moving about in the other room. I did what any respectable poodle would do. I stood on my novelist and began licking her face. “Gigi,” she said. “Go back to sleep. It’s dark outside.” I could not wake her up and I can always wake her up. I heard the noise again. Footsteps…no, paw steps.

I hopped down off the bed and went to investigate. With cautious steps I trotted towards the door to the bathroom. I nudged it with my nose. The door creaked open and I held back nervous as to what I would find inside. I could see the soft glow of the nightlight plugged into the outlet over the sink counter. My ears perked again thinking I heard a low growl. My swift paws stepped back out of the bathroom. I hightailed it back to the bedroom. Blindly, I ran to the bed and flew into the air, sailing and hoping I would land on the mattress. I did…only to find the growling was louder. I ran to my novelist and jumped on her, trying to get her to wake up. “Go back to sleep, Gigi,” she said. “It’s dark outside.

Suddenly, I heard the growling again, closer this time. I turned to look. The bathroom door creaked open and there stood Crispin, his glowing red eyes fixed on me, his jaws salivating. I woke up in a sweat yelping, my novelist gathering me into her arms trying to get me to calm down.

And now it appears he is on the prowl again. But we must rescue Demeter. If she is sold off tonight, we will have no chance of retrieving her and bringing her home. This will not do. We must be brave, even if the evil Crispin is lurking about.

“Shall we tell the others?”

“Yes, let’s go.” Until next week, I bid you adieu.  

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: ZODIAC (2007)-PARAMOUNT+

The most chilling and terrifying thing about David Fincher’s near masterpiece film is that it was never nominated for a single Oscar. No, instead they decided to nominate such wonderful mediocrity as Michael Clayton and Juno for a bevy of awards including Best Picture. But not one Oscar nod went to Zodiac. Not for Harris Savides’s cinematography, not for Angus Wall’s editing, not for Mark Ruffalo’s supporting performance or Jake Gyllenhaal’s lead performance, not for its brilliant screenplay by James Vanderbilt based on the best-selling book of the same name by Robert Graysmith, nor for Fincher’s flawless direction, and not for Best Picture of the year. This movie is better than any film I saw this past year, even One Battle After Another. If you have seen Zodiac, you know what I’m talking about and if you haven’t, it is absolutely a hands-down must-see experience that will leave an eerie feeling with you long after its credits have rolled.

The story is based on a real life infamous serial killer named “Zodiac” who hunted and killed people during the late 1960’s and 1970’s in the San Francisco Bay Area. He was fond of attention and frequently sent letters with detailed information about the killings to the Bay Area newspapers. Information only the police would know. He took credit for the killings and had a fondness for cryptograms which he included in his letters as well.

One month after the Zodiac Killer murders Darlene Ferrin and seriously wounds Mike Mageau on July 4, 1969, he sends a letter to the San Francisco Chronical. The Zodiac killer insists that his letters including the cryptogram, which he says his name is burried in, be published in the paper. Robert Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal), a young political cartoonist for the paper, heads to the library and gathers up books on decoding cryptograms. He is correct in figuring out that even though the Zodiac said his name was in the cryptograms, it was not. Paul Avery (Robert Downey Jr.), a reporter for the Chronical and the other members of the staff think little of Graysmith’s contribution and ignore him. That is until Graysmith and Avery begin discussing the coded letters. The two begin to work together to figure out who the Zodiac is. Graysmith notes that in the letters the Zodiac refers to “the most dangerous animal of them all” which could be a reference to a 1932 film called The Most Dangerous Game in which the lead hunts humans for sport.

In September, the Zodiac strikes again, attacking law student Bryan Hartnell and Cecelia Shepard at Lake Berryessa in Napa County. After two weeks go by, the Zodiac kills again, this time a taxi driver named Paul Stein. San Francisco police inspectors Dave Toschi (Mark Ruffalo) and his partner Bill Armstrong (Anthony Edwards) are assigned to the case. Toschi becomes chief investigator. In 1971 they question a man named Arthur Leigh Allen (John Carroll Lynch), who bears a striking resemblance to the drawings, wears a Zodiac brand watch with the symbol on it that keeps appearing in his letters, and has a history of mental illness.  

Chloë Sevigny also stars as Graysmith’s wife Melanie and Brian Cox stars as lawyer Melvin Belli.

Tears of Abandonment

Gigi the parti poodle here and I can’t even say good afternoon because I am sobbing. On a poodle neurosis scale of 1-10 I am an eleven. My worst nightmare came true. I was right. My novelist abandoned me. Utterly abandoned me. It happened late Sunday afternoon. I was peacefully lying in the office on my pillow by the window as my novelist worked. Then, suddenly, the clock changed to 5:30pm and she scooped me up, slapped on my harness and leash, and whisked me out to the car. I hate cars. They are frightening and I never know where I am going when I am in them. I ended up in the clink. The clink is somewhere I have no idea how I got to or know how to find the path home from. I was taken to the clink in August a year ago where I was incarcerated for a week. It was one of the lowest points of my life. And this week, she took me there again.

During my stay, I met a rather kind Boston Terrier named Gemma. She was older and wiser than I, so I stayed close to her during the day. As it was a minimum-security facility, we would go out onto the porch in the mid-morning where we played checkers. Gemma was a master at checkers. I lost every game. But I did enjoy her company. She told me her owner often goes on business trips, and she stays here frequently. I told her how difficult it was for me to be away from my novelist for even a few hours. She told me I must try meditation. She said to request my novelist put on soothing music for dogs and then relax and know that she shall return in time.

My novelist returned around 6pm yesterday and I was very relieved. I barked and walked around in circles in the car the entire way home. She took me outside to touch the dry grass, and Bernard greeted me with open arms. I told him about Gemma and her suggestions and Bernard said she must be a very wise dog to give such advice. And so, as I write this with teary eyes of joy and relief I am listening to soothing music for dogs. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: RED EYE (2005)-NETFLIX

If you have never gotten a chance to see this movie, make sure you catch it before it leaves Netflix on August 31. I am always fascinated when movies get a resurgence on Netflix. It often goes to show that audiences are craving films with something more to offer than people running around in capes and tights. I keep crossing my fingers and hoping there is a golden age of movies on the horizon. Or are we just heading for Armageddon? Anyway, this week’s pick is a whole lot of fun. Wes Craven directs this juicy little thriller written by Carl Ellsworth and Dan Foos. The plot is straightforward. A young woman named Lisa Reisert (Rachel McAdams) has the horrid misfortune of working as a manager at a high-end hotel. Because anyone who has ever worked in customer service at one point or another, knows what it’s like to be on the brink of becoming a killer. Lisa’s customers are like an exceptionally annoying trail of assclowns coming out of a miniature car. But for one reason or another she is a genius at her job. She knows how to juggle these dip wits like balls. She helps her poor coworker Cynthia (Jayma Mays who adds wonderful comedy to the film) via phone deal with them as they come at the poor woman like a rabid platoon of Nazis.

The reason Lisa is communicating with Cynthia by phone is she is heading for the airport to board a plane. She is catching the red eye flight on route home after attending her grandmother’s funeral. As she gets in line at Dallas Love Field, she meets a sweet young man named Jackson Rippner (Cillian Murphy). The two hit it off well and even find out that they are seated together on the same plane. But as the plane starts to take off Lisa begins to realize anyone knows a sweet young man with a name Jackson Rippner is bound to have ulterior motives. Rounding out the cast is Brian Cox who plays Joe Reisert, Cynthia’s father. And he is a much gentler paternal unit to her than he is when he’s running Waystar RoyCo.