Rare and Ruthless

October 8, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. Before I go forward with our story, I must tell you some details I may have left out. Bebe is no ordinary bobcat. You see, here in the Pacific Northwest we can get a rarer form of bobcat. You were picturing a wild cat with tawny fur with spots and thin tufts on the top of the ears I imagine. But that is not what Bebe looks like. Bebe is a rare melanistic variant of the Lynx rufus. More specifically, a Melanistic Bobcat. This means she has long black silky fur and all you can see of her face are her intense amber eyes. She is utterly menacing and looks like a big round furry beachball. And she never, and I mean never, runs. She saunters. Slowly. She moves without fear and is utterly terrifying.

I woke up early one morning this week, about five-thirty a.m. to be exact. My novelist begrudgingly arose from bed and was about to take me out when she scanned the natural world outside after turning on the lights. That’s when she spotted Bebe. Or at least the back of Bebe strolling away. She turned to me and said there was no way either of us were going outside until daylight. Can you believe it? That ominous beast has taken over my walking grounds and I am most displeased. Most displeased indeed.

Ever since that night I have not seen or heard from Bernard D. Bunny or his little sister Belle. I am deeply concerned. There were no messages, no meetings for afternoon tea and I am having difficulty waiting it out. Every tick of the clock makes me anxious. I know they are brave and careful creatures. But Bebe is behemoth in comparison. My novelist has become protective of me and stays close by. I have not been able to gather up the neighborhood pets for another meeting, and I am going to have to arrange a Zoom call instead. This is not as simple as it sounds as some neighborhood pets are technology challenged…such as the dachshund twins.

That said, I just wanted to make sure you were caught up on that bit of information. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: SOUTHERN COMFORT (1981)-AMAZON PRIME, ROKU, TUBI, YOUTUBE**

In my continuing hunt for cinematic gems, I came across this terrific, overlooked psychological thriller from director Walter Hill. Co-written by Hill, Michael Kane, and David Giler, the story is about a group of National Guardsman who are out for a routine exercise down in the Louisiana bayou. The squad of nine soldiers is led by Staff Sergeant Poole (Peter Coyote), a Vietnam Veteran. To boost morale, one of the squad members, PFC Spencer (Keith Caradine) has arranged for a group of prostitutes to be the entertainment after the maneuvers are complete. This goes well with the other members of the group which include Simms (Franklyn Seales), Cribbs (T.K. Carter), Stucky (Lewis Smith), and hot head Reece (Fred Ward). But it does not sit right with married newcomer Hardin (well-acted by Powers Booth), a chemical engineer recently transferred from the Texas Army National Guard. Hardin is leery about the cavalier attitude of the members of the squad and does his best to keep his distance and not to volunteer for any positions.

The squad starts heading out on their exercise expecting it to be a mundane routine. They realize after studying their map, their walk is going to be a long and rough one. While heading along their way, they happen to come across three boats owned by local Cajun hunter-trappers. Pool hesitates to borrow the vessel, but most of the squad urges him to take the boats anyway. Reluctantly, he agrees and they head out into the water. After getting a little way from the bank, they happen to see a group of local Cajuns standing on the shore watching them. Loose-cannon Stucky decides to fire blanks in their direction. His actions do not go over well with the Cajuns who fire back with real bullets hitting and killing Pool putting by-the-book Sgt. Casper (Les Lannom) in charge. The squad quickly drag the boats ashore to protect themselves and rethink their strategy, which causes a mentally unstable private, a high school football coach named Bowden (Alan Autry) to seek revenge for Pools death when the group continues on and comes across the abode of one of the Cajun trappers (Brion James).

Sunday in the Park with a Lynx rufus

October 1, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. Crispin contacted Bebe, the bobcat, and invited her to join us neighborhood pets for a tete-e-tete in the park. We agreed to meet with her on one side of the playground and us on the other for safety’s sake. The cats have been less than enthused about giving up a portion of their food to appease her. But I tell them that we must negotiate trust between our domestic selves and local predators that live in the wild.

“I think it is unfair to make us give this wildcat part of our food,” Edison the Manx said as we stood waiting for the creature to emerge from the woods.

“The coyotes have been most cooperative with us Canis lupus familiaris,” I said, “after we agreed to provide them with a portion of our dog food.”

“I agree with Edison,” Madeline the British Shorthair said. “I am sensitive about sharing my food with others.”

“It’s not that big of deal,” Ruffles the bulldog said.

“That’s easy for you to say,” Edison said. “Your owner gives you ample amounts of grub.”

“You’re just saying that because I’m bigger than you and need more to eat.”

“I detest the idea of giving this creature payola,” Artemus the Persian said. “Especially after dealing with black market criminals who kidnaped my sister.”

“Here, here,” Demeter her sister said.

“The rest of us Canis lupus familiaris have not complained about providing the coyotes sustenance,” Charlotte the chow said.

“Not even me,” Bruiser the Jack Russell said. “And I like my food. I like it a lot. I must jump now.”

We all turned and watched Bruiser jump up and down for a moment before returning to our conversation.

“When is she coming?” Titus and Tyler, the dachshund twins simultaneously asked as they chased each other around in a circle. “When is she coming?”

“She will be here soon,” I assured them. “It is almost twilight.”

Suddenly, from out of the foliage a creature emerged. She was sleek, swanky and intimidating. She moved in a way that was both luxurious and menacing. She was larger and more muscular than expected and I quickly regretted bringing myself and my cohorts to this meeting. The creature sat down on her haunches and licked her paw. Then she stared at us with looming amber eyes and said, “Well, I’m here. Talk.”

I cleared my throat and said, “Greetings, madam bobcat. My name is Gigi the parti poodle and I welcome you to our meeting.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And we would like to discuss the possibility of you accepting a portion of our neighborhood cats’ food in exchange for not attacking us or our bunnies and squirrels.”

“Hmm,” she said, swatting at moth that flitted near her. “How good is this cat food?”

“The best. Many of the Felis catus in this neighborhood get Smalls or Just for Cats, or The Honest Kitchen.”

“Interesting. I could go for making that deal with the felines and leaving the dogs alone as well. But I see no reason for you to negotiate for the bunnies and squirrels.”

“The bunnies and squirrels have asked me to speak for them on this matter.”

“I don’t know. I think I would get darned hungry living on left-over cat food alone.”

“With all respect, I believe you are being most obdurate in your assessment of our offer.”

The beast rolled her amber orbs. “A poodle using big words. Who would have seen that coming?”

“And quick to insult I see. To prove your misguided indignance, we are sticking to our offer of a fair and substantial amount of high-end cat food. And might I add, obstinate Lynx rufus, if you try to harm any single hair on any bunny or squirrel in our neighborhood, you will pay and pay dearly. Good day.”

Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE KILLING OF A CHINESE BOOKIE (1976)-HBO MAX, & GLORIA (1980) ROKU**

This week in continuing with literary cinema, I thought I would feature two films from legendary independent writer director John Casseveties. Both films are about people who find themselves in dire straits, one due to their choices and the other due to choices which have been put upon them. Each of them is forced to use their own special set of skills to deal with their deadly situations. The films have a raw gritty feel and remain riveting from beginning to end.

In The Killing of a Chinese Bookie, we meet shady burlesque club owner Cosmo Vittelli (Ben Gazzara) who’s place is called Crazy Horse West located on the sunset strip in LA. Underneath the seedy exterior, Cosmo is a bit of an artist who writes and directs all the performances on stage. Unfortunately, he is aware patrons watch the show not for his efforts but for the nude women.

He has just paid off a gambling debt he’s had for several years to a mobster named Marty (Al Ruban) and decides to take three of his female workers out for a night on the town with his three favorite dancers Sherry (Alice Friedland), Margo (Donna Marie Gordon) and his girlfriend Rachel (Azizi Johari). They head out to Marty and his partner’s gambling establishment where Cosmo racks up a debt of $23,000. He and the three ladies are held at the establishment overnight where Cosmo says he’s good for the money. But Marty and his partners are not convinced. They tell him he must sign over the Crazy Horse West as collateral. Reluctantly he does and he and the three women are finally allowed to go home.

But the next night one of the partners Mort Weil (Seymour Cassel) and his “associates” head to Cosmo’s club and take him out to a restaurant. There they discuss his debt and tell him he can lower it substantially if he does one thing: kill a Chinese bookie named Harold Ling.

In Gloria, we meet the Dawn family. Jack Dawn (Buck Henry), a mild-mannered family man who works as an accountant for the mob. Jack has been acting as an informant for the FBI. When his wife Jeri (Julie Carmen), a beautiful Puerto Rican woman comes home from shopping and notices sinister men in the building she finds out they have figured out what’s going on. The couple rushes to get her mother Margarita (Lupe Garnica), their daughter Joan (Jessica Castillo) and their young son Phil (John Adames) out of the apartment to safety.

As they are getting ready to flee their neighbor Gloria Swensen (Gena Rowlands in her iconic Oscar nominated performance) stops by to borrow some coffee. Gloria, who is good friends with Jeri, understands the situation but wants no part of it. But Jack and Jeri convince Gloria to take the kids and hide them. However, their daughter Joan refuses to go. So, Jack gives Phil his small book he’s been keeping information in about the mob, tells him he is now the man of the family and Gloria takes him back to her apartment just before the thugs get to the Dawn’s apartment and shoot up the place.

Gloria reluctantly realizes they need to get out of there. She’s a frugal woman who has saved money her whole life and now must use it and her wily survival skills to protect Phil’s and her own life and get away from the mob and the people in it she is connected to. This is no small matter as Gloria doesn’t like kids and Phil is a bit of a handful. But after escaping from the apartment building and rescuing Phil from a carload of gangsters preparing to take out Phil, the two start to form a bond that will either lead them to survival or doom.

Seasonal Post: Back to School Preview

July 4, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon and Happy 250th 4^th of July. Usually, Gigi and I only post on Thursdays. But we would like to start doing an Annual Back to School shopping post in July which we have touched on in the past couple of years. We are from the Pacific Northwest and are fans of one of our favorite northwest traditions, the annual Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. We are not, however, fans of fast fashion and believe in purchasing, as best as possible, clothes and accessories that are made of natural fabrics. We will discuss our beloved Nordstrom Anniversary Sale later after the catalogue comes out on July 6th. First, a few things:

We are not influencers. We are writers.
We do not receive money or any other compensation for our selections.
We ourselves have purchased mulitple items from the establishments we list.
We see the value in purchasing quality clothes and accessories that will last and not fall apart and are made of natural materials with a few occasional non-natural exceptions.
We hate seeing students getting ripped off.
We believe in getting the best possible deal for the best possible items.
We believe financial literacy should be taught in schools so that everyone can make the best decisions on their purchases and investments.

The reason we are doing a preview today is some of these online sales end this weekend or Monday and we think they are worth a look. Here they are:

Monica Vinader Summer Sale Final Markdowns

Monica Vinader makes excellent demi‑fine, refined jewelry. By demi-fine we mean her pieces are made from solid sterling silver, gold vermeil, 14k gold and real stones. She often does one of her best sales of the year at the end of June and early July. This year it is 60% off many sale items. If you are considering purchasing a quality piece of jewelry that will not go out of style and last for years, this is an excellent opportunity to pick up one or two of her pieces. She has Free US Shipping on $150, and her regular shipping is very reasonable. Last we checked for shipping to our location it was under $5.

Classic Hardware 31% off Sitewide

Classic Hardware is high quality small batch jewelry made in the USA. They are known for durable, expressive, hypoallergenic fashion jewelry. Their lines have been sold in Nordstrom and Disney. Their jewelry is lead and nickel free and made with solid construction. Amongst our pieces we have one of their Disney Tinkerbell bracelets as well as one of Gigi’s personal favorites, Scottie Dog drop earrings. They hold up very well and tend to be artsy and rockabilly in nature. The selection is large and a lot of fun and their prices are very reasonable. And at 31% their prices are outstanding. We highly recommend you check them out. Free US Shipping on $35. Coupon Code is WEBE31.

Levi’s Extra 50% Off Sale

Levi’s is a solid well-known clothing brand that has been around since 1873. Their clothes are easy to wear, wash well and make a great standard denim choice for the school year. Right now, they have an extra 50% of their sale items online. Which means if you see a pair of jeans on sale for $44.98 the actual cost of them is $22.49. And it isn’t just the jeans that are in the sale. There are also denim jackets, T-shirts, skirts, hats, etc. We also find they often have great prices in August as well. If you want to take advantage of some early school clothes shopping, we recommend checking them out. Make sure to carefully check the red writing at the bottom of the picture of the item to make sure it is specifically on the extra 50% off sale. Free US ground shipping on $75.

The Woman in the Olive Trench Coat

June 11, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. As you may remember when we last left off, the nefarious catnappers had investigated Ruffles owner’s van and found us inside. The tattoo littered man had told the woman in the silk Camo dress that some of us might do well on the black market. Suddenly, their attention was turned towards a Cadillac Escalade that had just pulled into the parking lot of my favorite summer restaurant and parked nose to nose with their garish orange Hummer. The catnappers headed back to the Hummer on the other side of the parking lot. Our little crew sat watching out the side window of the van as the driver’s side of the Cadillac Escalade opened and from out of the behemoth emerged a slender woman wearing an olive trench coat and a matching trilby hat.

“She is a bad woman,” Artemis the Persian said. “A terrible awful woman. We must attack.”

“No,” I said. “We must wait and see if they have Demeter. Then Ruffles must move closer.”

“Move closer, move closer,” the twin Dachshunds chanted.

“Quiet! We must concentrate.”

“What if we can’t tell if it’s Demeter,” Madeline the British Shorthair said.

“It’s still some poor cat,” Charlotte the Chow said. “If its some poor cat we don’t know, we must rescue it just as if it were Demeter.”

“It’s got to be Demeter,” Artemis caterwauled. “It’s got to be.”

“There, there,” Bruiser the Jack Russel said. “There, there.”

“The big tattoo guy is getting something out of the Hummer,” Ruffles said. “He’s getting something out of the Hummer.”

We all turned our attention back to the Hummer and saw the tattoo guy open the back hatch and take out a pet carrier.

“My goodness,” Edison the Manx said. “He’s a fiend! What kind of monster puts a cat in a cage?”

“Shh,” I said. “Watch.”

The woman in the olive trench coat studied the contents of the cage as if she were a scientist examining her experiment. I looked through my opera glasses and could see words were being spoken. Words between her and the woman in the silk camo dress. The tattooed man set the carrier down and opened it.

“It’s my sister,” Artemis exclaimed as soon as she saw him take the white Persian out of the box. “It’s Demeter! Drive, Ruffles, drive!”

“Wait,” I said. “If Ruffles turns on the engine, they’ll notice us.”

“They’ll notice us, they’ll notice us,” the twins said in unison.

“Hush up!” Artemis said with a hiss.

“The moment we see the woman in the trench coat take the cage and begin walking towards her car,” Charlotte said, “that’s when Ruffles will drive.”

“That’s when I’ll drive,” Ruffles said. “That’s when I’ll drive.”

We watched the woman in the trench coat pick up poor Demeter and examine her from all angles. It was most gauche. Demeter tried to struggle but the woman held her firmly. Then the woman nodded and put Demeter back in the cage, took an envelope out of her deep coat pocket and started to hand it to the woman in the silk camo dress.

“We’ve got to go now,” Artemis said. “Now, Ruffles, now!”

“Wait…!” But my words came too late. Ruffles turned on the engine and hit the gas. Until next week I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: TOOTSIE (1982)-NETFLIX**

Right in the middle of one of the golden eras of soap operas came this film, a gender bending comedy with a serious statement about the sexism women faced in the workplace and in everyday life. The film received ten Oscar nominations including a win for Best Supporting Actress for Jessica Lang. Lang also won a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress. Dustin Hoffman won the BAFTA and the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy. The film has endured over the years and is considered one of AFI’s 100 Best Movies of All Time. It was brilliantly directed by Sydney Pollak and written by Larry Gelbart and Murray Schisgal. However, there were other writers involved in penning the script, primarily Elaine May who strengthened the female character’s roles, but also Barry Levinson, Robert Kaufman and Robert Garland all who went uncredited.

The story is about a passionate, talented but difficult actor named Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman in one of his phenomenal performances) who waits tables and teaches acting while he desperately searches for work in New York City. One of his proteges, Sandy Lester (Teri Garr in a well-deserved Oscar nominated performance) is up for the part of Emily Kimberly, a hospital administrator for the soap opera Southwest General. Michael helps her prepare for the part and goes with her to the audition. But as soon as she arrives, they tell her she is wrong for the part and dismiss her without allowing her to read. Michael asks to see his fellow actor Terry Bishop, who stars on the show. But the receptionist tells him Bishop has taken time off to rehearse for The Iceman Cometh, a role Michael thought he was up for.

Michael tells Sandy to wait at the audition as he rushes over to the office of his enduring agent, George Fields (Sydney Pollak). George tells Michael nobody wants to work with him. Not in New York, not in Los Angeles nor anywhere else on the planet. Because despite being a great actor, Michael is intolerable. Michael tells him he is going to raise $8000 to produce and star in his roommate Jeff Slater’s (drolly played by Bill Murray) play.

Michael sets out to prove George and everyone else in show business wrong. He buys a wig, carefully applies makeup and dons a dress. He heads back to the auditions and meets chauvinist director Ron Carlisle (played with delightful sleaze by Dabney Coleman). When Ron tells “Dorthy”, Michael’s now alter ego he isn’t right for the part, Dorthy stands up to him with charm and aggression leading Dorthy to win the role. But complications arise when Ron’s girlfriend, actress Julie Nicols (Jessica Lang) befriends her new co-star.

The movie also features Charles Durning, George Gaynes, Doris Belak and then-newcomer Gina Davis.

Crispin

April 24, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. As you may remember the kidnapper was going to sell “the Persian”, or in other words Demeter, to a buyer on the black market. The other Canis lupus familiaris and Felis catus and I are going over to the house in Ruffle’s owner’s van, and we plan to follow the black-market customers just as soon as—

“I have news.”

“Bernard D. Bunny? What is it?”

“Crispin.”

“Crispin? You mean—”

“Yes. Do you want me to tell them or should I?”

“I shall. Dear reader, the following words I tell you are most chilling. As you may remember from the beginning of this catnapping tale, Bernard had mentioned coyote sightings in our neighborhood and how he had to stay back at his hutch to protect his little sister Belle Bunny. There have been coyotes that come and go but the most disturbing one of them all is Crispin Z. Coyote.

Crispin is a Goliath amongst the Canis latrans. My novelist once witnessed him wolfing down a squirrel from the ears to the tail which dangled out of his mouth momentarily before it was ghoulishly devoured whole. My novelist forced me to go outside continuously with a harness and a leash for a while after that. The monster was also spotted nearby having mangled and munched on a bunny. He is a bloodthirsty beast with neither morals nor mercy.

After my novelist witnessed the terror and spoke to me about the dangers, I had a nightmare about Crispin. I was sleeping quietly, curled up next to my novelist on my soft blanket which I always make into a nest. The blinds were closed and the soft music my novelist likes to play at night had stopped. Suddenly, I heard something. My ears perked up and I listened intensely. Something was moving about in the other room. I did what any respectable poodle would do. I stood on my novelist and began licking her face. “Gigi,” she said. “Go back to sleep. It’s dark outside.” I could not wake her up and I can always wake her up. I heard the noise again. Footsteps…no, paw steps.

I hopped down off the bed and went to investigate. With cautious steps I trotted towards the door to the bathroom. I nudged it with my nose. The door creaked open and I held back nervous as to what I would find inside. I could see the soft glow of the nightlight plugged into the outlet over the sink counter. My ears perked again thinking I heard a low growl. My swift paws stepped back out of the bathroom. I hightailed it back to the bedroom. Blindly, I ran to the bed and flew into the air, sailing and hoping I would land on the mattress. I did…only to find the growling was louder. I ran to my novelist and jumped on her, trying to get her to wake up. “Go back to sleep, Gigi,” she said. “It’s dark outside.

Suddenly, I heard the growling again, closer this time. I turned to look. The bathroom door creaked open and there stood Crispin, his glowing red eyes fixed on me, his jaws salivating. I woke up in a sweat yelping, my novelist gathering me into her arms trying to get me to calm down.

And now it appears he is on the prowl again. But we must rescue Demeter. If she is sold off tonight, we will have no chance of retrieving her and bringing her home. This will not do. We must be brave, even if the evil Crispin is lurking about.

“Shall we tell the others?”

“Yes, let’s go.” Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: ZODIAC (2007)-PARAMOUNT+**

The most chilling and terrifying thing about David Fincher’s near masterpiece film is that it was never nominated for a single Oscar. No, instead they decided to nominate such wonderful mediocrity as Michael Clayton and Juno for a bevy of awards including Best Picture. But not one Oscar nod went to Zodiac. Not for Harris Savides’s cinematography, not for Angus Wall’s editing, not for Mark Ruffalo’s supporting performance or Jake Gyllenhaal’s lead performance, not for its brilliant screenplay by James Vanderbilt based on the best-selling book of the same name by Robert Graysmith, nor for Fincher’s flawless direction, and not for Best Picture of the year. This movie is better than any film I saw this past year, even One Battle After Another. If you have seen Zodiac, you know what I’m talking about and if you haven’t, it is absolutely a hands-down must-see experience that will leave an eerie feeling with you long after its credits have rolled.

The story is based on a real life infamous serial killer named “Zodiac” who hunted and killed people during the late 1960’s and 1970’s in the San Francisco Bay Area. He was fond of attention and frequently sent letters with detailed information about the killings to the Bay Area newspapers. Information only the police would know. He took credit for the killings and had a fondness for cryptograms which he included in his letters as well.

One month after the Zodiac Killer murders Darlene Ferrin and seriously wounds Mike Mageau on July 4, 1969, he sends a letter to the San Francisco Chronical. The Zodiac killer insists that his letters including the cryptogram, which he says his name is burried in, be published in the paper. Robert Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal), a young political cartoonist for the paper, heads to the library and gathers up books on decoding cryptograms. He is correct in figuring out that even though the Zodiac said his name was in the cryptograms, it was not. Paul Avery (Robert Downey Jr.), a reporter for the Chronical and the other members of the staff think little of Graysmith’s contribution and ignore him. That is until Graysmith and Avery begin discussing the coded letters. The two begin to work together to figure out who the Zodiac is. Graysmith notes that in the letters the Zodiac refers to “the most dangerous animal of them all” which could be a reference to a 1932 film called The Most Dangerous Game in which the lead hunts humans for sport.

In September, the Zodiac strikes again, attacking law student Bryan Hartnell and Cecelia Shepard at Lake Berryessa in Napa County. After two weeks go by, the Zodiac kills again, this time a taxi driver named Paul Stein. San Francisco police inspectors Dave Toschi (Mark Ruffalo) and his partner Bill Armstrong (Anthony Edwards) are assigned to the case. Toschi becomes chief investigator. In 1971 they question a man named Arthur Leigh Allen (John Carroll Lynch), who bears a striking resemblance to the drawings, wears a Zodiac brand watch with the symbol on it that keeps appearing in his letters, and has a history of mental illness.

Chloë Sevigny also stars as Graysmith’s wife Melanie and Brian Cox stars as lawyer Melvin Belli.

Shower Curtains

June 12, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce my blog. Today the shower curtain rod came down. This was a most distressing event. My novelist had to hold up the rod whilst I hurried over to the computer to watch a video on how to put it back up. It is one of those curved types that is held up by tension. This is the video I watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K03RkODZ42M

And so, this kind man showed us how to take the horrifying tangle of curtains, rod and rings off the bathroom floor and put it back up. Now, we figured out ourselves to remove the curtain and the rings first so hurrah for us (not to mention it is not part of the video). Anyway, I sat and studied his how to lesson intently. Of course, as all wise poodles do, I put on my blue light blocking glasses first as eye safety is paramount. Then I took notes which are never easy to do as one must understand I have paws and no opposable thumbs. I could hear my novelist shouting from the bathroom the blood was running out of her arms so I had bark back that it would take as long as it takes and then proceed to take notes with my paw.

When I finished writing, I hopped out of the office chair, retrieved a measuring tape, and trotted into the bathroom. I took the measuring tape and measured the distance from ceiling to rod to make certain the rod was even on both sides, also a challenge with paws. I then barked the instructions up to my novelist reading them off from my notes. She first had to put one arm down and then the other to allow them to recover and then she set the curtain against both walls and twisted the bar for tension. It was a challenge to get the ornamental ends snapped into place. The one went in without a struggle but the second required my novelist to get out her trusty step stool and angle herself correctly to pop it in firmly. We now have a working shower curtain and both of us learned a lesson in home improvement. I am certain Tim Taylor would be proud. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: BAD INFLUENCE: THE DARK SIDE OF KIDFLUENCING (2025)-NETFLIX**

Female psychopaths are exceedingly rare. Only 1 in 1050 women is a psychopath as opposed to 1 in 150 men. But they still exist and here is your chance to see one in the wild. Not to mention she’s a pedophile to boot. I don’t know about you, but I am not an influencer watcher. I don’t get it. I don’t need someone to tell me what dimwit products to buy with their stupid amateur videos. There are enough professionally made commercials out there hocking uninteresting junk that pimp it better with professional actors, directors and writers. But apparently this seedy low-rent schlock is hot. Especially to grown men who make up 92% of the audience for these kids shows. Picture that lurid debauchery if you will. You’d think this low-rent YouTube content would play to other kids but no. It plays to mentally deranged scum.

Tiffany Rockelle is a reptile who happened to give birth to a human daughter. Unfortunately, the daughter was pretty and talented and so like every garden variety psychopath this female lizard saw dollar signs in her third eye. She started putting Baby Jane Piper into pageants when the girl was three years old. And if that isn’t enough to make you shudder, when Piper turned eight, Tiffany shed her scaly skin, tossed her sweet little cash cow in her car and headed out on the road for Hollywood. Once there, Foxy Loxy started building her own little cult, luring children and their mothers into her cave to devour them. And devoured them she did. She picked up some barely legal sucker to be her boyfriend/director to film videos of the pre-teens hanging out with each other and having a good time calling them “the squad” because “the fresh meat” wasn’t catchy enough. Slowly, she got the mothers to give up their expensive apartments and “save money” by moving the kids into a house where she used the mothers as her minions while she had her boytoy film the kids 24-7. That is not an exaggeration. A typical practice of any psychopath: isolate your victims.

After awhile old Tiffany started doing what she had intended to from day one which is turn the films into her own *ahem* “personal fantasy videos”. And after that her actions became a long list of revolting illegal and immoral acts which you must see to believe. If you happen to read this post and you have any association whatsoever with this Ophiophagus hannah, get out now.

Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Thirty-One

June 20, 2024 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter thirty-one of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. This week my novelist found my beloved weasel. I have not seen this toy in a very long time. I have been keeping this treasure close to me. I carry it around in my mouth, curl up with it when I sleep, and adore it wherever I go. For quite a while my novelist seemed to think I was not a Canis lupus familiaris who liked toys. She is sadly mistaken. I love my toys. But especially my beloved stuffed weasel which I adore with all my heart. Its head even squeaks. I love the squeak. It is something I can truly call my own. My novelist originally took my weasel away because I would bait the Maltese by setting it out for him to find and then attack. Ah, the good old days. But now that my weasel is back in my possession, the sun is brighter, the air is sweeter, and my world is better. May you too find the lost toy you so long to embrace. And with that thought here is chapter thirty-one of Certified Sadistic Accountant. J’adore les jouets!

Certified Sadistic Accountant

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Thirty-One

Curtis sat in his dad’s silver Honda CR-V LX wringing his hands and clenching his jaw. He knew he couldn’t sit there forever with his dad wondering why he hadn’t returned. But he was certain if he went back inside the sports bar the tall guy with the baseball hat who was already describing him to the deputy would peg him instantly.

Curtis caught something out of the corner of his eye and turned to see his father standing outside the window with a to-go bag in his hand and a perplexed look on his face. Mr. Cook walked around to the driver’s side door and climbed inside.

“What’s the matter with you?” he asked Curtis. “You said you had to go get something and the next thing I know thirty minutes have gone by.”

“I couldn’t find what I was looking for,” Curtis said.

“I had the bartender pack up your meal and I left her a generous tip.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you sick or something?”

“No.”

“Because you look sick or something.”

“I’m not sick or something.”

“What did you come out to the car to get?”

“You know whatever it is Aunt Odette wanted you to have I can get it for you. You don’t have to drive out to the cabin today.”

Mr. Cook narrowed his eyes. “We’re driving out to the cabin,” he said and started the car.

Curtis sat stiffly in the passenger’s seat, his mind racing. Stay calm, he told himself, just be cool. She’s locked in the attic. If dad stays downstairs everything will be okay. He could retrieve whatever Aunt Odette wanted to give his dad and get out. No one would be the wiser.

“I like driving around here on Sundays,” Mr. Cook said. “Less traffic.” He glanced at his son and then back at the road. They drove over the river and continued north towards the mall. “I overheard that deputy ask that guy about a kidnapped college student. Have you heard about this?”

“Maybe.”

“Apparently this guy works at a sports memorabilia store at the mall and saw her come in with a guy around the same age.”

“Interesting.”

“I mean you get robbed and then this college woman disappears. What’s going on in this town?”

“The world’s getting more dangerous, I guess.”

“Have you thought about moving back in with us?”

“No.”

“It would be cheaper for you.”

“It would be a longer drive to work.”

“What if thieves break into your house again? What if you’re home? They’ve already done it once and gotten away with it. What’s to stop them from doing it again?”

“They will never do it again,” Curtis said defiantly.

“You could boarder with your Aunt Odette.”

“No.”

“Her place is big enough for the two of you.”

“She doesn’t want me to live there and I don’t want to live there.”

“It would be closer to work.”

“It would be a lousy drive in the winter.”

“Your aunt does it.”

“That’s because she’s crazy.”

“She’s not crazy she’s eccentric.” The Honda passed the mall and stopped at the intersection. The light turned green, Mr. Cook hung a right, and they headed for the lake. “This shouldn’t take long.”

“Let’s hope not,” Curtis grumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Curtis looked out the window at the lake. He was certain his dad wouldn’t hear Fia in the attic if he kept him downstairs. But he’d have to keep him downstairs.

Mr. Cook turned into Aunt Odette’s driveway and parked the car. Curtis looked up at the top floor of the cabin where Fia was working on her art piece. The two men disembarked the Honda and headed towards the cabin.

“I see your aunt still has that lip couch,” Mr. Cook said when they stepped inside. “Do you know how expensive that thing is? She told me she’s going to buy a yellow one for the master bedroom. This is what happens when an art student goes to New York and sees things she can’t afford. She ends up buying them. I still like this bookcase chair though. At least it’s pragmatic. You can enjoy the aesthetics of the chair and grab a book to read at the same time.”

“What was it Aunt Odette wanted you to have?” Curtis said impatiently.

“It’s a photograph she took of you as a child. Apparently, she entered it in a competition recently and won. So, she took the picture and the award and stored them in the attic.”

“The attic?”

“Yeah, I’ll just run up and get it.”

“You can’t!”

“Why not?”

“There’s…a squirrel up there.”

“A squirrel?”

“I saw a squirrel in the attic when I went up to get the coverings for the paintings. So, I got a trap and set it up there.”

“Let’s go up and see if you caught it,” Mr. Cook said and headed for the stairs.

“No,” Curtis said blocking him. “If…if I didn’t catch it, it might escape and run roughshod all over Aunt Odette’s cabin.”

“She’s got a lot of art in the attic so she’s not going to be happy about it running roughshod up there either.”

“And I have a profound fear of squirrels.”

“A profound fear? Not just a run of the mill fear?”

“They freak me out with their bushy tail and that scratching noise they make when they run up trees.”

Mr. Cook looked at his son with concern. “Be that as it may I still need to get that photograph.”

“Just let me go up and get it.”

“With your profound fear of squirrels?”

“But…but this way I could see if I caught the little critter.”

“You’re not making any sense, Curt. I’m concerned about you. You’ve been acting strange all day.”

“I just really need to get back to my taxes, dad.”

“Maybe you need to change occupations.”

“Just wait down here. I’ll go check on the squirrel and get the picture.”

Mr. Cook shook his head. “Fine,” he said and plopped down in the bookcase chair.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE RIGHTEOUS GEMSTONES (2019)-HBO MAX**

This week’s pick is a hilarious raunchy show that was recommended to me by a family member. If you are looking for something fantastic to binge watch over the summer, here it is. Created by Danny McBride along with a fantastic cast including John Goodman, it’s both a send up and a lampooning of American mega churches. Be forewarned, the first episode has a dark ending but don’t let that throw you. Keep watching this sleeper because it just gets better and better. It’s one of those comedies that should be reeling in wheelbarrow loads of Emmy nominations but for some inexplicably bizarre reason it is not. What is wrong with Hollywood? Has that become a rhetorical question?

Dr. Eli Gemstone (John Goodman) patriarch of the Gemstone family has recently lost his beloved wife and the light of the family Aimee-Leigh Gemstone (Jennifer Nettles) and must face the future of the Gemstone mega church with his three adult children Jesse (Danny McBride), Judy (Edi Patterson) and Kelvin (Adam Devine). All these kids have seriously disturbing issues and handle situations abominably, but Jesse especially has gotten himself into some hot water. His oldest son Gideon (Skyler Gisondo) has run away from home, much to the dismay of his wife Amber (Cassidy Freeman), and a blackmailer named Scotty (the always funny Scott MacArthur) is threatening to release an explicit video of Jesse and his church buddies which will surely go viral and threaten the Gemstone name. Also, Eli’s get rich quick brother-in-law Uncle Baby Billy (Walton Goggins) wants to get back into the family business and is willing to use every trick in the book to do so. This show is an absolute must see.