Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce Chapter Forty-Two of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. I will soon be wrapping up this tale and begin an entirely new story soon. It’s hard to believe I have been writing this one for almost a year. Today, I am taking a day trip to visit relatives. We are having a family summit. It is imperative I go along as someone must run the show. And the best person to run the show is always a poodle. I plan to command and demand and inform as that is what poodles are best at. I detest riding in automobiles, however. I long for the day I can take a train. I love trains. I have never taken one and it is a dream of mine. I revel in the idea of looking out the window and watching the world roll by. My novelist and I rewatched most of The Commuter this past week and I absolutely adore it. Yes, it is a guilty pleasure with a terrible ending, but it is so much fun. That said, I am up early, looking over my notes and preparing my speech and practicing pounding my paw. I am going to be magnificent. And with that thought here is Chapter Forty-Two of Certified Sadistic Accountant.

Certified Sadistic Accountant

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Forty-Two

Thirty minutes later, Makenna, Lance, Grady and Irwin all arrived at the Dupree Tax Agency each carrying a pastel paper cup from The Steamed Bean. Grady and Irwin turned and headed into the breakroom to retrieve a fresh croissant. Makenna marched up to Lance.

“Why do you think Cook the Books never reported us to the police?” she said.

Lance shrugged. “He never knew it was us.”

Makenna narrowed her eyes. “Of course, he knew it was us. You think that surveillance system of his wasn’t running when you spray painted the lens? He got a great look at your face. He knew exactly who you were. The more I think about this whole out of the blue kidnapping thing with Dupree’s kid, the more suspicious the whole thing seems.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Exactly how stupid are you? We’ve been giving Cook a hard time ever since he stepped foot in this office. Yeah, he seems all polite and hardworking and such. But I think underneath all that façade is a sadist waiting to pounce. I think he staged this kidnapping, and he wants to pin it on us.”

Lance blew a raspberry. “We didn’t kidnap Dupree’s kid.”

“No. But I think Cook looked at that video and thought, maybe he could get Dupree’s daughter to help him stage a kidnapping. She could get out of working here and he could get us back for all the times we messed him. Then he’d keep that tape of us breaking into his house to make us look like criminals. And then pin a kidnapping charge on us a well as a break-in to really make us suffer.”

“That’s nuts.”

“Maybe. But if I were Curtis I’d be out for some serious revenge.”

“We didn’t even steal anything.”

“No. But that pocket rat of his got killed when we were at his apartment. Even if he can’t prove it.”

Lance took a sip of his coffee. “I’ve been wondering if there was another surveillance camera at his duplex.”

Makenna leaned over and tapped her long red manicured nails on Lance’s desk. “The landlord,” she said. “You’re right. There’s more footage. We need to do something.”

“Like what?”

Makenna stood up and folded her arms. “I’m thinking.”

Just then, Fia unlocked the front door and stepped inside. Both accountants looked at her with anxious eyes. She looked at no one and headed up the stairs to her father’s office.

“Fia,” he said when she stepped inside and closed the door. “You decided to come in today?”

“I didn’t want you answering the phones, Daddy,” she said.

Mr. Dupree chuckled. “That’s sweet of you, dear but you’ve been through quite an ordeal.”

“I want to finish my spring break time here at the office. I would feel better if I did.”

“Alright.” Mr. Dupree watched his daughter turn and head over to the door. “Fia?”

“Yes?”

“Cook…Curtis Cook my accountant said something interesting to me this morning.”

“What?”

“He said he wondered if it was an inside job.”

Fia turned around and looked at her father. “An inside job?”

“Are you sure you didn’t recognize something familiar about your kidnapper?”

Fia bit her lip. “Why would one of your accountants want to kidnap me?”

“I don’t know. It’s perplexing they sent a ransom note but never wanted money.”

“I know. I read it.”

“The more I think about it, the more I think Cook may be right. I think someone in this office might be out for revenge.” Mr. Dupree picked up a signed baseball from the wooden stand he had sitting on his desk and began fiddling with it. “I don’t think it’s Makenna and I don’t think it’s Lance. Each of them won the tax bonus contest during the last two years. Grady hasn’t won it since Curtis started working here and Irving’s never won it. But then again neither has Curtis…are you sure you didn’t see the face of your captor?”

“Daddy, the attic was dark and-”

“See, that’s what’s so strange. None of my employees has an attic. How did you end up in an attic?”

“How do you know none of your employees has an attic?”

“Because all their addresses have an apartment number. None of them live in a house so none of them have an attic. But somehow, they were granted access to one.”

“I need to get down to the receptionist desk to take-”

“You aren’t in on this, are you, Fia?”

Fia’s heart was thumping. “I didn’t kidnap myself, daddy.”

“This isn’t some twisted performance art piece, is it?”

“Daddy-”

“Because this whole attic thing is driving me crazy.”

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: CIVIL WAR (2024)-HBO MAX

This week’s movie is a recent release now playing on HBO Max. If you are a fan of the brilliant 28 Days Later, you will love this non-zombie road trip about a dystopian United States where a small group of journalists head off in a van to get an interview with the president as rebel factions prepare to siege the Whitehouse. This is a tense and unflinching story written and directed by Alex Garland with some interesting effects used to put the audience in the position of press on the ground and in the middle of the action.

Renowned world-weary photojournalist Lee Smith (Well-played by Kirstin Dunst) who was once touted as the youngest member of the Magnum Photos cooperative, has decided to head out to Washington DC to interview the President of the United States (Nick Offerman) as the modern-day American Civil War rages on. Along for the ride are her long-time fellow college Joel (Wagner Moura), and mentor Sammy (Stephen McKinley Henderson) who warns Lee against the idea. While out photographing brutal fighting in Charlottesville, Virginia, Lee comes across and helps and injured a young would-be journalist Jessie Cullen (Callie Spaeney) from Missouri who has always idolized Lee. Jessie wants to join the group for the ride, but Lee, well versed in the dangers of war journalism, does not want her to go with them. Jessie goes with them anyway and after Lee sees some of the young woman’s work, she becomes her mentor.