Why Is There No Story?

July 9, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog.

“What is going on?”

What do you mean, what is going on, Ruffles?

“What I mean is we are supposed to be continuing our story. I am supposed to be pinning down the woman in the silk camo dress in the van, but there is no story. Why is there no story?”

Allow me to explain—

“And I am supposed to be pinning down the woman in the olive trench coat. Now suddenly there is no set. There is no van.”

Yes, Charlotte, I know you are supposed to be pinning down the woman in the olive trench coat. And thank you for your bravery. But the situation is—

“I’m perplexed. I was kidnapped by these horrible catnappers, finally reunited with my sister Artemis, and now…poof! Nothing. No story, no van. No humans.”

I understand your concern, Demeter. And might I add it is lovely to have you in the story now. I cannot begin to imagine the terror you have been through, however—

“Demeter is right. Suddenly, everything is wonky. Everything is off. She and I are finally reunited and now there is no story. I am utterly perplexed.”

I am sympathetic to your situation, Artemus. You have been through quite an ordeal with your dear sister having been missing for so long. It’s just—

“Who’s running the show here? We were on a mission. We were in a quest. Now we’re all just standing around. I’m a cat. I’m a Manx. I was not born to just stand around.”

No one is asking you to stand around, Edison. I am merely trying to explain the circumstances. Now, the situation is—

“I agree with Edison. We are all Felis catus and Canis lupis familiaris standing around without a story.”

Yes, Madeline, I know we are without a story, but I need you, and everyone else, to understand what is going on here.

“What is going on here? What is going on here!”

“Will someone put a muzzle on those twin dachshunds?”

Enough! I have had enough! Everyone needs to zip their traps! Bernard, will you please help me explain what is going on here?

“Certainly. What Gigi has been trying to explain is that the Nordstrom Anniversary catalogue dropped this week.”

“What? That’s this week?”

“Yes, Bruiser. The Nordstrom Anniversary catalogue just dropped this week, and Gigi’s novelist did not help Gigi write a chapter for this week.

“The nerve of that so called writer!”

“Yes, Charlotte, I know. I understand how you feel. But we must all be patient until Gigi’s novelist has finalized all her favorite sale items in her wish list and then she will help Gigi write another chapter of our story.”

“It’s maddening, I tell you. Absolutely maddening.”

“Not to mention highly unprofessional.”

I know you are disappointed, Edison. I know you are all disappointed. But I can assure you my novelist and I will have a new chapter up soon. The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale Fever simply must break and all will be well again. Thank you, Bernard, for helping to explain that. And thank you, Belle, for the visuals.

“I simply do not know what I would have done without the PowerPoint presentation to go along with this.”

Yes, Bruiser, I know. And as for you dear readers, a new chapter is on the horizon. Until next time, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: WITNESS FOR THE PROSECUTION (1957)-TUBI**

Every so often I like to search through the selections on Tubi which has a wonderful collection of classic movies. So, for the next couple of weeks I am going to pick a few from here. This week’s film was nominated for six Oscars, including Best Picture, Best Editing, Best Sound, Best Actor for Charles Laughton, Best Supporting Actress for Elsa Lanchester and Best Director for Billy Wilder. It is a genuinely brilliant courtroom drama with an unusual surprise. The screenplay is based on the play of the same name by Agatha Christie and was written by Billy Wilder and Harry Kurnitz.

Sir Wilfrid (Charles Laughton) has just been released from the hospital after a heart attack. He has been assigned a private nurse, Miss Plimsoll (Elsa Lanchester) who desperately tries to keep him away from alcohol and cigars. Wilfrid, a highly touted senior barrister, is supposed to rest and not take any legal cases. But when his friend and solicitor Mr. Mayhew (Henry Daniell) asks him to defend a young man named Leonard Vole (Tyrone Power) for murder, Wilfrid cannot resist and agrees to take the case along with the help of his junior counsel, Mr. Brogan-Moore (John Williams). Vole had befriended a wealthy childless middle-aged woman named Emily French (Norma Varden) who developed a crush on him despite the concerns of her deaf housekeeper Janet McKenzie (Una O’Connor). French was found struck on the back of the head by a blunt object in her home during the night.

Further complicating the case, French had named Leonard her beneficiary shortly before her death. Vole swears he was nowhere near the scene of the crime that fateful night, and his wife, a former German actress and singer named Christine (Marlene Dietrich) can vouch for his whereabouts. Sir Wilfrid interviews Christine and finds her to be cold and self-assured. He tells her courts often frown on the testimony of spouses and is surprised when he finds out that Christine is set to be called a witness for the prosecution.

As a side note, I thought it interesting that Vivian Leigh was up for the part of Christine. She was also up for the part of the second Mrs. de Winter in Rebecca (1940).

Once the Butterfly is in the Net

June 26, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I, Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. The kidnappers were skulking around Ruffles’ the bulldog’s owner’s van. The woman in the olive raincoat had made the cheeky remark, “I’m looking for cats, not dogs.” I wanted to have Ruffles unlock the door so I could spring out and give this rude woman a stern talking to. But Bernard D. Bunny spoke sooth and thus I chose not to reprimand this heathen. Instead, I have come up with a plan to thwart these evil black market catnappers once and for all.

Inside the van we all stoically watched as the man with the tattoos attempted to open the door.

“They’ve settled down now,” he told the woman in the olive trench coat.

“As it appears,” the woman in the olive trench coat replied.

The man pulled out a long Slim Jim and slid it down the length of the driver’s door.

“He’s getting in,” Ruffles the bulldog said. “He’s getting in.”

“Okay,” I said. “Everyone needs to stay calm. Once the butterfly is in the net, we will pin it to the board.”

We watched the man wriggle the long thin metal in the lock. He looked up at us and we stared back. A perplexed, worried look crossed his face. He did not know what to make of our stoicism. He wriggled the metal one last time, and the door unlocked. I could see Ruffles gripping the wheel with his paws. Madeline the British Shorthair, Edison the Manx, and Artemis the Persian were all hissing. I think this is what they do to warm up. Charlotte the Chow, Bruiser the Jack Russell Terrier and I all had our ears perked. The Dachshund twins had gotten bored and were playing go fish with a deck of cards they found under one of the seats.

“Go ahead and take a look,” the tattooed man told the woman in the olive trench coat.

The woman in the olive trench coat looked at him as if he were out of his mind. “You expect me to enter your den of misbegotten animals? I think not. You open the door and go into your own van.”

Tattoo man looked at the woman in the silky camo dress who shrugged and back at the woman in the olive trench coat. “Do you want to see the merchandise or not?”

“Obviously, you’ve just gotten your hands on this merchandise. Not only that but you’ve stolen the van as well if you had to open the door with a Slim Jim.”

“I take offense to that.”

“Am I wrong? You are a criminal who works on the black market. And apparently aren’t averse to committing grand theft auto as well.”

The man sneered at her “You need to give the cat back to her until I get out of here, then.”

“Not a chance.”

“Fine.” Tattoo man said. “Then you can’t see the merchandise.”

The woman in the olive trench coat huffed. She looked at the cage and then at the man with disdain. “I have my cat. I don’t need to be led into a trap.”

“Oh, no,” Artemis said as we watched the woman in the olive trench coat turn on her heel. “She’s leaving with Demeter!”

“Don’t panic,” I whispered. “Stay the course.”

Suddenly, the woman in the silk camo dress said, “What if you both went in the van together?”

The woman in the olive trench coat stopped and looked at her. They stared at each other for what must have been a solid minute. “I’m taking the cat inside with me. And you are going into the van. Not him.”

Tattoo man frowned as the woman pointed an angry finger at him.

“Alright,” the woman in the silk camo dress said. “Let’s do this.” She turned to tattoo man. “Open the door.”

Tattoo man hesitated for a moment, likely considering the safety of his partner in crime. Then he opened the door. We all sat still as the woman in the camo dress climbed inside. The woman in the olive trench coat picked up the cat carrier and boarded the van.

“Artemis!”

“Demeter!”

“Shut the door,” I yelled.

Charlotte the Chow slammed the driver’s side door shut and Ruffles hit the gas. Until next week I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

STREAM OF THE WEEK: TEEN MOVIES

As school is now out, I thought I would do something different this week and offer up a list of some of the best teen movies available on streaming and where to view them. To be fair, some of these are more about teens than for young teens so viewer discretion is advised. Here is the list:

AMAZON: Napoleon Dynamite, Bring it On, Tuff Turf, River’s Edge, The Cutting Edge, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Empire Records

DISNEY & HULU: 10 Things I Hate About You, Holes, Cruel Intentions, The Edge of Seventeen, Flower, Adventures in Babysitting, Donnie Darko

PARAMOUNT +: Grease, Mean Girls (original 2004), Speak, Clueless, Election

TUBI: Disturbia, Ferris Bueler’s Day Off, Precious, Fear

PLUTO: Boyz n the Hood, Footloose, Big, Better Off Dead, Some Kind of Wonderful, Adventureland, Bully (2001)

NETFLIX: The Karate Kid, The Breakfast Club, 13 Going on 30, La Bamba

The Bunny Has a Point

June 18, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. As you may remember, Ruffles hit the gas and we all went barreling towards the orange Hummer and the black Cadillac Escalade.

As we drew closer, we could see the look of shock and awe in the three people’s posture. And when we drew closer still, we could see the look of shock and awe in their faces from the realization that a bulldog was driving the van. The van lurched to a stop, and we all fell back into our seats. The woman in the olive trench coat scuttled over to take a close look at us. She narrowed her eyes and scrutinized Ruffles.

She turned and looked at the black marketers. “Is this a stunt?”

The woman in the silk camo dress looked at the man littered with tattoos. “A demonstration, actually,” she said. “We thought you might be interested in looking at some more of our inventory.”

The woman in the olive trench coat narrowed her eyes. “Perhaps,” she said with caution.

“Go open the van,” the woman in the silk camo dress told the man littered with tattoos.

The man gave her a quizzical look as if to say, “I don’t have the keys” before slogging over to the driver’s side of our van.

“He’s trying to open my door,” Ruffles said. “He’s trying to open my door.”

Bruiser the Jack Russel Terrier hopped into Ruffle’s lap stood up and started barking at the tattooed man. He was quickly joined by Titus and Tyler, the dachshund twins who pressed their big wide paws against the side window and barked in unison. The woman in the olive trench coat said, “I’m looking for cats, not dogs.”

This tart little comment raised my ire. “Unlock the door, Ruffles.”

“Unlock the door?” Madeline the British Shorthair said. “We can’t unlock the door.”

“Yes, we can. Ruffles, unlock the door.”

Ruffles looked at the rest of our group with warry eyes. “I don’t know, Gigi…”

“This woman has insulted me, and I must give her a stern talking to.”

“If Ruffles unlocks the doors we must attack,” Charlotte the Chow said.

The twins barked, “Attack, attack!”

“I am not ready for this,” Edison the Manx said. “I haven’t had my midnight popcorn snack and I feel puckish.”

“Gigi, I do not think this is wise,” Bernard D. Bunny said.

I looked over at his little sister Belle who seemed terrified. “The bunny has a point,” I said. “I have, in my usual ENTJ fashion, jumped into action when I should have trusted my strategy. We will stand our ground. Ruffles, do not let them in. Instead, make them come to us. I have a plan. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: QUEEN OF CHESS (2026)-NETFLIX**

Back in the 1980’s and before, there was a belief that only men could play chess at the highest level. Especially aggressive chess strategies such as Evans Gambit, Danish Gambit, Smith-Morra Gambit, Albin Counter-Gambit, Marshall Attack, and Sicilian Defense. At the time the greatest chess player in the game was Garry Kasparov who liked to play a version of the Sicilian Defense called Sicilian Najdorf Defense. Bobby Fisher said in interview that women were simply not intelligent enough to be great at the game.

But a man named László Polgár, became obsessed with the idea that genius is not born but rather made. He read piles of books and concluded if you could rigorously teach children abilities when they were young, they could then become brilliant at them. And so, after they were born, he used his three daughters as his experiment: Susan, Sophia, and his youngest Judit. He had them train at a very early age with him for long hours every day, homeschooling them with his wife and employing professional chess players to come into the home to train them as well. By the time the girls were tweeners, they had risen to the top of women’s chess. Judit, at age 12 became the youngest player to break into the FIDE top 100 rating list ranking at position 55. In 1991, at the age of 15 months and 4 years she became the youngest player to be named grandmaster. Both Susan and Sophia became grandmasters as well.

All her life, Judit had one dream: to beat Kasparov. This thrilling well-paced documentary directed by Rory Kennedy and written by Mark Bailey and Keven McAlester is the story of her determined attempt to rise to the occasion. She and her family had to overcome a ridged Polish government, sexism and psychological roadblocks to fight not only for their position as chess players but to set a precedent for female chess players to come.

The Woman in the Olive Trench Coat

June 11, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. As you may remember when we last left off, the nefarious catnappers had investigated Ruffles owner’s van and found us inside. The tattoo littered man had told the woman in the silk Camo dress that some of us might do well on the black market. Suddenly, their attention was turned towards a Cadillac Escalade that had just pulled into the parking lot of my favorite summer restaurant and parked nose to nose with their garish orange Hummer. The catnappers headed back to the Hummer on the other side of the parking lot. Our little crew sat watching out the side window of the van as the driver’s side of the Cadillac Escalade opened and from out of the behemoth emerged a slender woman wearing an olive trench coat and a matching trilby hat.

“She is a bad woman,” Artemis the Persian said. “A terrible awful woman. We must attack.”

“No,” I said. “We must wait and see if they have Demeter. Then Ruffles must move closer.”

“Move closer, move closer,” the twin Dachshunds chanted.

“Quiet! We must concentrate.”

“What if we can’t tell if it’s Demeter,” Madeline the British Shorthair said.

“It’s still some poor cat,” Charlotte the Chow said. “If its some poor cat we don’t know, we must rescue it just as if it were Demeter.”

“It’s got to be Demeter,” Artemis caterwauled. “It’s got to be.”

“There, there,” Bruiser the Jack Russel said. “There, there.”

“The big tattoo guy is getting something out of the Hummer,” Ruffles said. “He’s getting something out of the Hummer.”

We all turned our attention back to the Hummer and saw the tattoo guy open the back hatch and take out a pet carrier.

“My goodness,” Edison the Manx said. “He’s a fiend! What kind of monster puts a cat in a cage?”

“Shh,” I said. “Watch.”

The woman in the olive trench coat studied the contents of the cage as if she were a scientist examining her experiment. I looked through my opera glasses and could see words were being spoken. Words between her and the woman in the silk camo dress. The tattooed man set the carrier down and opened it.

“It’s my sister,” Artemis exclaimed as soon as she saw him take the white Persian out of the box. “It’s Demeter! Drive, Ruffles, drive!”

“Wait,” I said. “If Ruffles turns on the engine, they’ll notice us.”

“They’ll notice us, they’ll notice us,” the twins said in unison.

“Hush up!” Artemis said with a hiss.

“The moment we see the woman in the trench coat take the cage and begin walking towards her car,” Charlotte said, “that’s when Ruffles will drive.”

“That’s when I’ll drive,” Ruffles said. “That’s when I’ll drive.”

We watched the woman in the trench coat pick up poor Demeter and examine her from all angles. It was most gauche. Demeter tried to struggle but the woman held her firmly. Then the woman nodded and put Demeter back in the cage, took an envelope out of her deep coat pocket and started to hand it to the woman in the silk camo dress.

“We’ve got to go now,” Artemis said. “Now, Ruffles, now!”

“Wait…!” But my words came too late. Ruffles turned on the engine and hit the gas. Until next week I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: TOOTSIE (1982)-NETFLIX**

Right in the middle of one of the golden eras of soap operas came this film, a gender bending comedy with a serious statement about the sexism women faced in the workplace and in everyday life. The film received ten Oscar nominations including a win for Best Supporting Actress for Jessica Lang. Lang also won a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress. Dustin Hoffman won the BAFTA and the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy. The film has endured over the years and is considered one of AFI’s 100 Best Movies of All Time. It was brilliantly directed by Sydney Pollak and written by Larry Gelbart and Murray Schisgal. However, there were other writers involved in penning the script, primarily Elaine May who strengthened the female character’s roles, but also Barry Levinson, Robert Kaufman and Robert Garland all who went uncredited.

The story is about a passionate, talented but difficult actor named Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman in one of his phenomenal performances) who waits tables and teaches acting while he desperately searches for work in New York City. One of his proteges, Sandy Lester (Teri Garr in a well-deserved Oscar nominated performance) is up for the part of Emily Kimberly, a hospital administrator for the soap opera Southwest General. Michael helps her prepare for the part and goes with her to the audition. But as soon as she arrives, they tell her she is wrong for the part and dismiss her without allowing her to read. Michael asks to see his fellow actor Terry Bishop, who stars on the show. But the receptionist tells him Bishop has taken time off to rehearse for The Iceman Cometh, a role Michael thought he was up for.

Michael tells Sandy to wait at the audition as he rushes over to the office of his enduring agent, George Fields (Sydney Pollak). George tells Michael nobody wants to work with him. Not in New York, not in Los Angeles nor anywhere else on the planet. Because despite being a great actor, Michael is intolerable. Michael tells him he is going to raise $8000 to produce and star in his roommate Jeff Slater’s (drolly played by Bill Murray) play.

Michael sets out to prove George and everyone else in show business wrong. He buys a wig, carefully applies makeup and dons a dress. He heads back to the auditions and meets chauvinist director Ron Carlisle (played with delightful sleaze by Dabney Coleman). When Ron tells “Dorthy”, Michael’s now alter ego he isn’t right for the part, Dorthy stands up to him with charm and aggression leading Dorthy to win the role. But complications arise when Ron’s girlfriend, actress Julie Nicols (Jessica Lang) befriends her new co-star.

The movie also features Charles Durning, George Gaynes, Doris Belak and then-newcomer Gina Davis.

Parking Lot

May 29, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good evening. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here and as you may remember last week, we were in hot pursuit of the garish orange Hummer. We had just headed down the curvy dark hill and had reached the bottom. Ruffles the bulldog attempted to remain inconspicuous as we waited behind the rotten black-market brutes as they pulled into the left-hand turning lane as the light turned green. We followed the van down the long road towards the next town.

“Where do you think they are going?” Edison the Manx asked Ruffles.

“Left,” Ruffles replied.

“Yes, I know they went left. But left to where?”

“All that matters is they didn’t get on the freeway. I do not like the freeway.”

“What matters is that my sister is in that monstrosity,” Artemis said pointing her paw forwards at the Hummer. “Do not lose them.”

“I will not lose them,” Ruffles said. “I will not lose them.”

“I’ll bet they are going to that parking lot on the other side of the bridge,” I said.

“What parking lot?”

“My novelist takes me out for scrumptious lunches there in the summer when they have outdoor seating. The city shut down the street in front of the restaurant to allow for safer foot traffic. But they have a large parking lot around the back. At this time of night, it would be empty. They could easily meet someone there to take Demeter.”

“I think the poodle might be right,” Edison said. “An empty parking lot at night seems like a likely place for questionably legal commerce.”

“Personally, I would meet at the Bakery,” Madeline the British Shorthair said.

“The Bakery?” Charlotte the Chow said. “Why would you meet someone in the middle of the night at The Bakery?”

“Sometimes they throw the day olds into the dumpster.”

“I tend to think Gigi might be onto something,” Charlotte said. “I think the back parking lot of the café makes a lot of sense.”

“Café, café,” the dachshund twins called out.

“Oh, do shut up, will you,” Artemis said with an edge in her voice.

“They are driving up the bridge,” Ruffles said. “There they go up the bridge.”

We all watched out the windshield to see where the orange Hummer was heading.

“If it’s going to the parking lot, it will veer left,” I said.

“You mean it will suddenly turn evil?” Bruiser the Jack Russell said, fear in his eyes.

“No, veer left. I think you are referring to bend sinister.”

“Bend sinister, bend sinister!” Titus and Tyler barked.

“Not bend sinister, veer left!, I barked back. “Stop acting like nitwits!”

“They’re veering left” Ruffles said and started turning the steering wheel.

“If we park in the parking lot at the same time, they’ll see us,” Charlotte said.

“But there’s no where else to park around there,” I said.

“What if they take off and I never see my sister again?” Artemis said, panicking.

“We have to follow them or we’ll lose them too,” I said.

Ruffles drove the van into the parking lot right behind the orange Hummer.

“Park the van and shut off the engine,” I said.

“But what if they drive out of the parking lot and we lose them?” Ruffles said.

“We can’t lose them; we can’t lose them!” Artemis said.

“Park the car and shut off the engine!” I yelled.

Ruffles swiftly pulled into one of the stalls and shut off the engine. We all scrambled to the tinted side window and looked out. The Hummer had stopped at the far side of the lot and shut off the engine.

“Now what?” Ruffles said.

Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE PAPER TIGERS (2020)-NETFLIX**

This week’s pick is a sleeper of story that is part Kung Fu, mystery, and comedy cleverly written and directed by Bao Tran. Back in the 1980’s a Kung Fu master and chef, Sifu Cheung takes on only three young students: Danny (Kieran Tamondong), Hing (Junior Kinder), and Jim (Malakai James). They practice in Sifu’s garage and slowly become martial arts experts. When they become teens, Danny (Yoshi Sudarso), Hing (Peter Adrian Sudarso) and Jim (Gui DaSilva-Greene) take to the streets and fight anyone willing to take them against Sifu’s orders. Even their nemesis Carter (Mark Poletti) who trains under a different Kung Fu master. Danny is sent an invitation to fight in Japan and Jim is to go with him. But something happens along the way.

A few decades later Danny (Alain Uy) finds himself disillusioned and divorced from his wife Caryn (Jae Suh Park). The former couple share a young son named Ed (Joziah Lagonoy) whom Danny refuses to teach Kung Fu to. Danny tries to help raise the boy but finds his insurance job often gets in the way.

Danny runs into Hing (Ron Yuan), whom Sifu taught ancient Chinese medicine. Hing also did construction and seriously hurt his knee and now collects disability. Hing also tells Danny that Sifu recently died. Hing says the coroner claimed the cause of death was a heart attack, but the two old friends suspect something more sinister is at play. They attend the funeral and run into their former rival Carter (Matthew Page) there who provides some possible information on what may have happened. Danny and Hing track down Jim (Mykel Shannon Jenkins) who has become a Jiu Jitsu trainer and is in the best shape of the three. Despite their age and a couple of physical setbacks, the old friends set off on an odyssey to find out who killed their beloved Sifu and bring the villain to justice.

Orange Hummer

May 1, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. The others were most disturbed by the realization that Crispin the Coyote was on the prowl. It concerned all of us, but we knew we had to take a chance and attempt to rescue our precious Persian cat Demeter, especially since we had a van and could remain inside where Crispin could not reach us.

Ruffles the bulldog parked the van across the street from the yellow house and we waited. I was most concerned that the Dachshund twins had brought an extra-large bag of Cheetos Puffs. Titus ripped it open while Tyler began munching them down. Not to be outdone, Titus began munching them down as well.

“Don’t get that orange stuff all over my owner’s van,” Ruffles barked, “or you’re going to get it!”

Artemis who’d had just about enough of their tomfoolery reached out and swiped her claws across the back of Tyler’s head. He yelped and put his back paw up to his ear. She glared at Titus, who dropped the bag of puffs from his mouth and sat.

“When do you think these buyers are coming?” Bruiser the Jack Russell asked. “I’m getting restless. I’m climbing the walls.”

“They’ve got to be coming soon,” Madeline the British Shorthair said. “We’ve been here for at least—”

“Half an hour,” Charlotte the Chow said.

“Yes, half an hour.”

“Augh!” Bruiser said jumping up and down. “It feels like a year!”

“It’s not been a year,” Edison the Manx said. “I do wish you’d stop bouncing around.”

“I can’t help it! I can’t help it!”

“You’re going to bang your head on the ceiling of my owner’s van,” Ruffles said. “If you guys don’t settle down and start acting like civilized pets I’m going to—”

“Someone’s coming,” Charlotte the Chow said.

All of us turned to see a bright orange Hummer SUV drive up the hill and turn into the cul-de-sac and up in front of the yellow house. I pressed my little black poodle nose against the glass and watched. The gigantic Hummer door opened and out stepped a woman wearing a silky camo print dress and one of those big fluffy faux fur coats in the same color as the Hummer. A man got out as well. He wore jeans, Dr. Martin Boots and a leather vest. He had so many tattoos I do not believe he had any area left on his body to add another drop of ink.

The two of them headed to the front door and we all held our breath and waited. Then we all gasped in shock when the kidnapper came to the door. He had something in his hand. Ruffles looked through his binoculars and said, “It’s a can of cat food.”

“My goodness!” Artemis said. “She must be inside.”

“Where do you think he kept her?” Edison said. “Madeline and I never saw her when we were trapped in there.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we get my sister out.”

Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: COLUMBO (1971)-AMAZON PRIME**

If you are stressed out, wired up, mad as hell and not about to take it anymore, then this show is for you. One of the best television series (each episode averages around a full-length 90-minute movie) of the 1970’s, this is much more relaxing to watch than many modern shows and every episode is about a murder. Imagine that. Someone pointed out to me that the color schemes in modern shows are much brighter and bolder looking than their 1970’s and 1980’s counterparts which shows a demand for spectacle over substance. Not only that, but the best ones of these eras also take their time and unfold with a more cerebral quality than a visceral one.

And the acting here is excellent. The show drew such actors as Roddy McDowall, Janet Leigh, Vincent Price, Faye Dunaway, Leslie Nielsen, Johnny Cash, Leonard Nimoy, William Shatner, Dick Van Dyke, Kim Cattrall, Bruno Kirby, Jamie Lee Curtis, Martin Sheen, Celeste Holm, Robert Culp, Joyce Van Patten, Ruth Gordon, Mariette Hartley, John Cassavetes, Gena Rowlands, Blythe Danner, Myrna Loy, Ray Milland, Eddie Albert, Suzanne Pleshette, Don Ameche, Anne Francis, Vera Miles, Dean Stockwell, Donald Pleasence, Anne Baxter, Valerie Harper, Laurence Harvey, Martin Landau, Robert Conrad, Robert Vaughn, George Hamilton, Lesley Ann Warren, Ricardo Montalban, and Jack Cassidy. In fact, the very first episode was directed by Steven Spielberg and written by Steven Bochco. Try and get that level of talent for a show today. In fact, it’s a shame that it’s difficult to do a show like this in the modern world because, if the concept was good and it was written right it would probably be a hit.

Every episode starts out showing you how the murderer committed the crime. And then here comes this bedraggled scruffy looking detective driving a beaten-up bland looking 1959–1960 Peugeot 403 Cabriolet. Sometimes accompanied by a basset hound named Dog. But do not be fooled for Columbo (iconically played by Peter Falk) is a genius INTP. INTPs are usually the valedictorian of their high school class. They may wear their pants on backwards occasionally, or talk obsessively about their favorite video game, but they are also the ones who come up with such gems as E = mc2. The joy of each Columbo mini movie is watching this guy do his work. He is polite, well-mannered, embarrassingly humble and a bit of a doofus. But all of it adds up to him solving the crime and wearing the perpetrator down until they screw up and entrap themselves.

Currently, half the fun of watching the show is to get a glimpse of life at that time with the opulent 70’s décor and the far-out clothes. Columbo, however, could likely walk on screen today and look as if he were from this era. Maybe that’s part of the magic.

Crispin

April 24, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. As you may remember the kidnapper was going to sell “the Persian”, or in other words Demeter, to a buyer on the black market. The other Canis lupus familiaris and Felis catus and I are going over to the house in Ruffle’s owner’s van, and we plan to follow the black-market customers just as soon as—

“I have news.”

“Bernard D. Bunny? What is it?”

“Crispin.”

“Crispin? You mean—”

“Yes. Do you want me to tell them or should I?”

“I shall. Dear reader, the following words I tell you are most chilling. As you may remember from the beginning of this catnapping tale, Bernard had mentioned coyote sightings in our neighborhood and how he had to stay back at his hutch to protect his little sister Belle Bunny. There have been coyotes that come and go but the most disturbing one of them all is Crispin Z. Coyote.

Crispin is a Goliath amongst the Canis latrans. My novelist once witnessed him wolfing down a squirrel from the ears to the tail which dangled out of his mouth momentarily before it was ghoulishly devoured whole. My novelist forced me to go outside continuously with a harness and a leash for a while after that. The monster was also spotted nearby having mangled and munched on a bunny. He is a bloodthirsty beast with neither morals nor mercy.

After my novelist witnessed the terror and spoke to me about the dangers, I had a nightmare about Crispin. I was sleeping quietly, curled up next to my novelist on my soft blanket which I always make into a nest. The blinds were closed and the soft music my novelist likes to play at night had stopped. Suddenly, I heard something. My ears perked up and I listened intensely. Something was moving about in the other room. I did what any respectable poodle would do. I stood on my novelist and began licking her face. “Gigi,” she said. “Go back to sleep. It’s dark outside.” I could not wake her up and I can always wake her up. I heard the noise again. Footsteps…no, paw steps.

I hopped down off the bed and went to investigate. With cautious steps I trotted towards the door to the bathroom. I nudged it with my nose. The door creaked open and I held back nervous as to what I would find inside. I could see the soft glow of the nightlight plugged into the outlet over the sink counter. My ears perked again thinking I heard a low growl. My swift paws stepped back out of the bathroom. I hightailed it back to the bedroom. Blindly, I ran to the bed and flew into the air, sailing and hoping I would land on the mattress. I did…only to find the growling was louder. I ran to my novelist and jumped on her, trying to get her to wake up. “Go back to sleep, Gigi,” she said. “It’s dark outside.

Suddenly, I heard the growling again, closer this time. I turned to look. The bathroom door creaked open and there stood Crispin, his glowing red eyes fixed on me, his jaws salivating. I woke up in a sweat yelping, my novelist gathering me into her arms trying to get me to calm down.

And now it appears he is on the prowl again. But we must rescue Demeter. If she is sold off tonight, we will have no chance of retrieving her and bringing her home. This will not do. We must be brave, even if the evil Crispin is lurking about.

“Shall we tell the others?”

“Yes, let’s go.” Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: ZODIAC (2007)-PARAMOUNT+**

The most chilling and terrifying thing about David Fincher’s near masterpiece film is that it was never nominated for a single Oscar. No, instead they decided to nominate such wonderful mediocrity as Michael Clayton and Juno for a bevy of awards including Best Picture. But not one Oscar nod went to Zodiac. Not for Harris Savides’s cinematography, not for Angus Wall’s editing, not for Mark Ruffalo’s supporting performance or Jake Gyllenhaal’s lead performance, not for its brilliant screenplay by James Vanderbilt based on the best-selling book of the same name by Robert Graysmith, nor for Fincher’s flawless direction, and not for Best Picture of the year. This movie is better than any film I saw this past year, even One Battle After Another. If you have seen Zodiac, you know what I’m talking about and if you haven’t, it is absolutely a hands-down must-see experience that will leave an eerie feeling with you long after its credits have rolled.

The story is based on a real life infamous serial killer named “Zodiac” who hunted and killed people during the late 1960’s and 1970’s in the San Francisco Bay Area. He was fond of attention and frequently sent letters with detailed information about the killings to the Bay Area newspapers. Information only the police would know. He took credit for the killings and had a fondness for cryptograms which he included in his letters as well.

One month after the Zodiac Killer murders Darlene Ferrin and seriously wounds Mike Mageau on July 4, 1969, he sends a letter to the San Francisco Chronical. The Zodiac killer insists that his letters including the cryptogram, which he says his name is burried in, be published in the paper. Robert Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal), a young political cartoonist for the paper, heads to the library and gathers up books on decoding cryptograms. He is correct in figuring out that even though the Zodiac said his name was in the cryptograms, it was not. Paul Avery (Robert Downey Jr.), a reporter for the Chronical and the other members of the staff think little of Graysmith’s contribution and ignore him. That is until Graysmith and Avery begin discussing the coded letters. The two begin to work together to figure out who the Zodiac is. Graysmith notes that in the letters the Zodiac refers to “the most dangerous animal of them all” which could be a reference to a 1932 film called The Most Dangerous Game in which the lead hunts humans for sport.

In September, the Zodiac strikes again, attacking law student Bryan Hartnell and Cecelia Shepard at Lake Berryessa in Napa County. After two weeks go by, the Zodiac kills again, this time a taxi driver named Paul Stein. San Francisco police inspectors Dave Toschi (Mark Ruffalo) and his partner Bill Armstrong (Anthony Edwards) are assigned to the case. Toschi becomes chief investigator. In 1971 they question a man named Arthur Leigh Allen (John Carroll Lynch), who bears a striking resemblance to the drawings, wears a Zodiac brand watch with the symbol on it that keeps appearing in his letters, and has a history of mental illness.

Chloë Sevigny also stars as Graysmith’s wife Melanie and Brian Cox stars as lawyer Melvin Belli.

Brainstorming

April 16, 2026April 22, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here once again to introduce this week’s blog. We are all overjoyed to have our precious cats Edison the Manx and Madeline the British Shorthair back with our illustrious group after Artemis and I rescued them.

“I helped rescue them too.”

Yes, yes, Bernard D. Bunny also assisted in their liberation by bashing open the door with his remarkably strong hind legs.

“Thank you.”

Yes, of course. Apparently, even bunnies need validation. All of us, however, are dismayed that we still do not have our lovely friend Demeter the Persian, Artemis’s sister, home safe and sound. We know that Edison heard that the kidnapper is planning to do something with “the Persian” tonight and we all must hurry to put together a plan to thwart him before she is sold off to someone on the black market. Our biggest problem is when tonight the kidnapper is planning to meet his buyer or buyers and send our precious feline to some brutish monster keeping us from ever seeing her again.

There has been much debate among us as to how to go about our second feline rescue. Ruffles the Bulldog thinks we should park the van across the street as planned, wait until we see the buyer or buyers arrive, and then all of us should open the side door of the van and attack. Charlotte the Chow thinks we should stealthily position ourselves at all the entrances to the house and then wait for them to exit and attack. Bruiser the Jack Russell thinks we should sneak in the house and catch them by surprise. Titus and Tyler, the twin dachshunds, are chasing each other around the room.

I listened to all their proposals and said, “I think we should all stay together and whoever comes to the house we should follow in the van.”

“What if we follow the wrong automobile?”

“As long as it’s not a delivery truck coming to drop off a package, we will have the right vehicle.”

We all sat there for a moment and postulated the proposals. Then Bernard D. Bunny spoke up and said, “I think Gigi might be right. I think we need to stake out the house and see if a person or persons come to the house and if they leave with a cat.”

“But what if we cannot see well enough to know if they even have a cat in their possession,” Eddison said.

“I will bring a couple of pairs of my best binoculars.”

“You have binoculars?”

“I’m a bunny. Of course I have binoculars.”

Charlotte the Chow nodded. “I do think that waiting and following them may be the safest idea. We have all risked a great deal getting too close. Let’s see if we can make more progress at a distance.”

“Then we are agreed,” I said.

“But what do we do if we find Artemis and where she is being taken?” Bruiser the Jack Russell asked. “How will we get her back?”

We all thought deeply about this dilemma.

“I think I might have an idea of what to do when we find their destination,” Bernard D. Bunny said.

Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

CONGRATULATIONS, BILLY IDOL

Before I do my stream of the week, I just wanted to say congratulations to all the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees. Last week my stream of the week was Billy Idol Should Be Dead which is a terrific documentary about his life and music. I was delighted to find out this morning that he made it in and glad Gigi and I chose his documentary as our Stream of the Week last week.

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: PINBALL: THE MAN WHO SAVED THE GAME (2022)-HULU**

This week’s pick is a comedic biopic sleeper about how a down-on-his-luck recently divorced college graduate saved the game of pinball. The film was written and directed by brothers Austin and Meredith Bragg. The film is set to act like an interview with the present-day Mr. Sharp (Dennis Boutsikaris).

In 1975, Rodger Sharp (well-acted by Mike Faist), a 25-year-old college graduate from Chicago, decided to become a writer. His wife Judy (Olivia Koukol), whose father owns a furniture store, recently filed for divorce from him. After signing the papers, Rodger moves to New York City and gets an interview with the fledgling G.Q. Magazine. On the way up in the elevator, he meets a woman named Ellen (Crystal Reed) and is smitten. She gives him her business card and exits while he rides up to interview with Jack Haber (Mike Doyle). Rodger also meets fashion magazine co-workers Harry Coulianos (Bryan Batt), Deborah (Victoria Giler), and photographer James Hamilton (Toby Regbo). He is given an assignment to see if he is suited for the job. Shortly afterwards he goes in search of a pinball machine, his favorite pastime. But he quickly discovers the machines are hard to find. The only one he locates is in an XXX Rated adult store where an apprehensive man named Jimmy (Connor Ratliff) works the counter.

Rodger gets the job at GQ and works up the courage to call Ellen and ask her on a date. She agrees to go out to lunch with him. At lunch he discovers she is a secretary and has an eleven-year-old son named Seth (Christopher Convery) from her previous marriage. She tells him she is 32 years old and planning in the future to marry again and have more children. The two find they continue to have good chemistry and agree to meet again for lunch where he takes her to the XXX Rated adult store and shows her the pinball machine.

Shortly thereafter, the pinball machine was confiscated from the adult store by the New York City Police. Baffled as to why, Rodger finds out from Jimmy that pinball machines have been illegal in New York City for over thirty years thanks to a politician named Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia (Carlos Lopez). In 1942 LaGuardia convinced the public pinball machines were owned by the mob and encouraged children to gamble. Thus begins Mr. Sharp’s odyssey to write a book about pinball and hopefully overturn the unfounded laws in New York and other major cities to make pinball machines legal.

Investigating the House

March 20, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good evening. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. As you may remember from last week, Artemis and I were perched on the catnapper’s kitchen counter looking down at the long drop to the Pergo floor. I turned my head towards the left and saw the glass topped stove and two kitchen towels hanging down from the bar handle. If we worked our way from the sink to the stove, we could each grab one of the kitchen towels and lower ourselves to the floor.

Artemis considers my idea and nods. She is, however, concerned about the slipperiness of the glass top stove. I agree with her but can see no other optimal way down. Except of course to jump which frightens me and my delicate poodle paws. We begin inching our way down the tan granite counter paw by paw until we arrive at the glass stovetop. Artemis deftly sinks her claws into both sides of the first towel and lowers herself to the Pergo. Unfortunately, my claws are not as deft. I slip and slide on top of the stove as I try to get my bearings. I reach down…grab the towel…and flip! I am dangling in midair about to slip! I could break my nails this way! Artemis quickly pushes a kitchen floor map under me and…plop! I land. Artemis looks at me shakes her head and licks her paw.

We look around at our surroundings and head towards the living room. Much like the kitchen, it is cleaner and neater than we expected. The place has cream-colored wall to wall carpet, a comfortable cloth couch and chair, an old-fashioned desk, a fireplace and a potted tree. I was stunned. Apparently, the catnapper vacuums.

Not noticing anything nefarious in the living room, we trotted on to the foyer. There were two flights of stairs. One that headed up and one that led down. And when you are trying to figure out where a catnapper might be up to something nefarious, down is the more likely choice. However, just to make certain this was indeed the case, we ascended the stairs to check out the rooms on the second floor first. After Artemis and I trotted to the top step, we found there was a narrow linen closet in front of us, and a door to a room. To the right there was one door and to the left there were two doors. We pushed open the first door to the left to find it was a bathroom. We trotted inside and saw it had grey walls and white tile with white fixtures with a dark brown fancy tile bathtub.

Next, we looked in the room to our right. It was set up to be an office. The room was painted mint green and had a computer desk, an office chair, a docking station, a printer, a bookshelf and a couple of file cabinets. Next to the file cabinet there was a wooden chair. I told Artemus there may be a clue in the file cabinet. She agreed. She hopped up on the wooden chair and was just about to open the cabinet when we both heard a car pull up in the driveway. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: ALL THE EMPTY ROOMS (2025)-NETFLIX**

Stanford University is one of the leaders if not the leader in studying mass shootings and the individuals that commit them. It’s important I point this out because there are some films out there, let’s call them Problem Films, movies and television shows that get awards and accolades which present skewed information, missing information, and/or swaths of false information. They play on emotion over logic because the creators have an agenda. Or as the kids say, these films are rage bait. And being a writer, I’ve run across enough emotional artists to know sometimes they’re idiots. Seriously stupid empathic dolts. They will refuse to do their research and instead follow their misguided arrogance, write with their heart and not their head, and deeply and profoundly annoy those of us who take the time to look up facts.

That said, this movie is not a Problem Film. This movie is superb in delivering not only its message but the reality of the situation. Yes, the movie is emotional, but it is not irrational. And it absolutely without question deserved its Oscar win this past Sunday. But before I get into this must-see short documentary let’s look at some facts from Stanford’s studies:

Stanford researchers were able to study 35 mass shooters and determine a diagnosis on 32. Of the 32 diagnosed 28 met the diagnostic criteria of at least one psychiatric disorder. The most common diagnosis was schizophrenia, which affected 18 of the patients. https://med.stanford.edu/news/insights/2022/04/investigating-psychiatric-illnesses-of-mass-shooters.html
Other diagnoses included bipolar 1 disorder; delusional disorder, personality disorder, substance use disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.https://med.stanford.edu/news/insights/2022/04/investigating-psychiatric-illnesses-of-mass-shooters.html
The study also points out the following: “None of the assailants had received medication or other treatment before committing the crimes. Most had never been medically diagnosed using scientific criteria.” https://med.stanford.edu/news/insights/2022/04/investigating-psychiatric-illnesses-of-mass-shooters.html

You think maybe as a society we should make researching mental health a priority?

Moving on: in addition, it turns out, shock of shocks, it’s a very bad idea to have guns in a house where children live. Especially if their parents or siblings have any of the mental health issues listed above. In fact, it’s just a lousy idea to have guns and kids in the same house even if said parents, siblings, etc. are sane. Here’s why:

In 2020, gun violence surpassed car accidents as the No. 1 killer of children in the United States. https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2025/02/children-mass-shootings.html
Lo and behold, 59% of kids who died in mass shootings were at the hands of a family member. Over 22 million U.S. children live in a home with a gun. If a domestic disturbance arises in those homes, the risk of death dramatically increases. https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2025/02/children-mass-shootings.html
And most importantly, “…there may be opportunities to prevent incidents of domestic violence by removing firearms from homes where relationships between adults are deteriorating or mental health concerns are rising.” https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2025/02/children-mass-shootings.html

The point is there are essentially two problems involved in most mass shootings. Not all but most: mental health and easy access to firearms. It’s both mixed together like bleach and ammonia. It’s getting rid of lax gun laws and addressingthe urgent need to better advance psychology and neuroscience. That’s the bottom line. Some television and movies will often have you believe it’s a myriad of other fallacies from a person’s cultural background to visiting dark web online web sites to witnessing narwhals shooting confetti and glitter out their asses that invoke mass shootings. Where does this asinine stupidity come from? And even more befuddling, why do viewers believe these inane lies? Because they’re too lazy to fact check information? Because some filmmakers are too arrogant to get all the facts to make their film? Because a conglomerate of low-rent critics says said film is good? The last time I checked most critics and filmmakers weren’t scientists or professional researchers.

All that said, this is a profound short documentary about two very brave, and I do mean brave men, correspondent Steve Hartman and photographer Lou Bopp. Hartman originally was given the job of going to schools where a mass shooting had occurred and present an upside story on the occurrence. These absurd missions took their toll and after a while Mr. Hartman concluded since he had a soul, he would rather do something useful and profound instead. Along with photographer Bopp, they decided to document and photograph all the bedrooms of children who lost their lives in school shootings. Bopp has an interesting ritual he does which is take what he and his daughter call “the morning picture”. Every day he takes a picture of her in the morning right at the time she is about to leave for school and has done so for years. He does it because you never know what might happen on any given day.

At the time of the filming, Hartman and Bopp had been doing this for seven years, which is remarkable, and they had three bedrooms to go. Looking at one of these rooms is brutal enough. Imagine what kind of courage and compassion it took to do this project for seven years. Their hope is to present their work on air. Everyone should see this short. There is no excuse. It should be required viewing as well as the short If Anything Happens, I Love You which I had as one of my streams of the week last year.

The Squirrel and the Blueprints

February 27, 2026 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good evening. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. This week Artemis, Bruiser, Charlotte, the twins Titus and Tyler, Ruffles, and I all called on Sergio Squirrel’s assistance once again. He’d done such a spectacular job getting pictures off the surveillance tape at the 7-Eleven we asked if he could get us the blueprints of the layout of the yellow house with the catwalk. He scampered down to the planning and building department at city hall late in the afternoon. He returned with photos the next day but told us it was a harrowing experience.

He said he had arrived at city hall at four forty-five P.M. just as they were about to close. As a man and a woman who were in a heated argument were coming out, he darted inside without being noticed. He found a place to hide under a vending machine and waited until five o’clock when the place closed.

After that Sergio told us he crawled out from under the machine and headed down the slippery tile hall to find the room where the blueprints are kept. He almost skidded into a copy machine but regained his footing and pressed forwards. He entered what looked like the right place, but found it was only a generic conference room. Someone had left a plate of crackers on the boardroom table and he snatched one. One cannot feel peckish when one is on a mission, he said. He continued down the hall and darted into a couple of rooms he found out were only offices. He was, however, delighted to discover a small bowl of peanut M&M candies on one of the desks and stopped briefly to enjoy the confection.

Finally, he came to a room at the end of a hallway with a double door, but it was locked shut. He didn’t know how he was going to get inside. He scampered back to one of the offices and hopped up on the desk chair. This was no easy feat as the chair had casters on it and rolled around as he climbed to the top of the back of the chair. He almost lost his balance and narrowly missed falling into a round metal trash can.

Once on the top of the backrest, though, he was able to study the window. He noticed it had the ability to open. If he could push the glass forwards, he could escape out the bottom, head outside and then scurry back inside the window of the room with the double door if it also had a window that opened out. Sergio said opening the window was no small feat. He had to push a lever down with all his might. But it worked and the window swung out from the bottom. He crawled onto the window frame and hopped out onto a nearby tree.

He skuttled along the branch and sat studying the position where he believed the double door room was located. It indeed came equipped with a window that opened but said window was closed. Disheartened, he headed back to the other office. Once inside he snatched a couple more M&M candies and munched them down to deal with the stress.

As he was leaving the office, he happened to see a maintenance guy rolling a garbage can down the hall, wearing a pair of headsets and singing off key. Sergio hid in the doorway of the office and when the man moved past him. Sergio jumped onto the rolling garbage can and held on. The man rolled the can all the way down to the double doored room at the end of the hall. He unlocked it with his badge and inadvertently rolled Sergio inside.

Sergio realized immediately this was the place where the blueprints were kept. As the man began cleaning and sweeping the room, Sergio scampered under a plush desk chair and lay low. It took a while, but the man finished cleaning the room. Sergio crawled out thinking he was gone when the man turned around. Sergio stepped back and hid behind a table leg. The man narrowed his eyes and stared straight at him. Our poor squirrel said his heart was beating so fast he could hear pulsing in his ears.

Then the man shut off the lights and left the room, rolling his garbage can down the hall. Sergio waited and then he headed over to a vault at the wall. He knew that under one of the keyboards on one of the desks there must be the code. Humans were always a little careless. He of course was right. He entered the code into the vault, and it unlocked. He scampered inside and found hard copies of the blueprints of houses. After several minutes of figuring out how the blueprints were organized, he found the ones to the yellow house with the catwalk. He took pictures on his phone and carefully put the blueprints away. He went to leave the vault when he heard a terrifying sound.

A guard-dog entered the room. Sergio’s heart nearly stopped beating. Somehow the security guard realized the vault was open and now said security guard and guard-dog were entering the vault. He would have to hide again. He hopped up onto one of the racks and crawled into one of the rolled-up blueprints. He tried not to shiver. He tried not to make a sound. But a guard-dog’s ears are sensitive.

The dog turned towards him and barked and growled viciously at the blueprints where he hid. The security guard turned and told the dog to calm down. Sergio knew he was trapped, cornered, doomed. What choice did he have but to use his talents. Just as the security guard shined his bright flashlight into the rolled-up documents, Sergio drew in a breath and sprung out into the security guard’s face. This stunned the security guard and his horror hound enough to allow him enough time to dash out of the vault, out the open door, back down the hall, into the room with the still open window, leap into the tree, scurry down the trunk and dash for freedom. He was so shaken by the experience he hid in his drey cuddling his acorns until the next day when he mustered up his courage and brought the pictures to us. Thank you, dear Sergio. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

STREAM OF THE WEEK: IF I HAD LEGS I’D KICK YOU (2025)-HBO MAX

Easily one of the best films of the year, this excellent piece of independent cinema fabulously written and directed by Mary Bronstein is an all-out attack on parenting and the medical system. Loaded with symbolism and metaphor, it is an original wonder. Some viewers have found it difficult to watch. I did not. Maybe because I’m an INTJ. I could easily rewatch the film and look for more clever layers in this story. Honestly, I’m baffled as to why it was not nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.

Linda (Rose Byrn in a phenomenal Oscar nominated performance) is a psychotherapist who has a daughter known only as the Child (Delany Quinn). As viewers we barely get a look at the girl’s face. This is because Bronstein wants the audience to focus on the mother who in other films is often relegated to the background. This is Linda’s story. Not her husband’s nor her daughter’s. The Child has a rare pediatric eating disorder and must be fed through a tube (likely a phallic symbol) in her stomach at night which Linda must always attend to.

One day, after Linda and the Child come home from an appointment with Dr. Spring (Mary Bronstein), the Child’s passive aggressive medical doctor, carrying a cheese pizza for which the Child will only eat the crust, the Child heads into the bathroom of their upper middle-class Montauk apartment. The kid starts crying out that there is water all over the floor. When Linda goes to check out the situation she finds a crack in the ceiling. The crack gives way, and water rushes everywhere leaving her with a large hole in the ceiling.

Finding herself looking directly into womanhood she calls her husband Charles (Christian Slater who, like the daughter we rarely see) and he says he cannot come home because he is busy with his career. Take notice when you do see Charles, he is dressed in white, a wink and nudge to him being a “white knight come to rescue her”.

Linda then takes the Child to a motel near the water. During her stay she will find herself confronting Dr. Spring, Charles, a Parking Attendant (Mark Stolzenberg), a sardonic desk clerk named Diana (Ivy Wolk), sexist contractors who find reasons to stall on fixing her ceiling, and her own psychotherapist (creepily played by Conan O’Brien) a covert narcissistic jerk who makes the Crane brothers look like selfless saints. Her only comfort is escaping from their motel room at night clutching a receiver in one hand and marijuana paraphernalia in the other.

During their stay she meets James (ASAP Rocky), the motel’s superintendent, who provides some comfort and grounding. But this becomes short lived as one of her patients Caroline (Danielle Macdonald) who is struggling with being a new mother does something drastic.