Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here on this glorious spring day to present to you Chapter Five of my story Catzilla. If you have never met me before, I am a six-pound parti poodle, who writes short stories and owns a novelist. This week we are experiencing what we like to call summer snow. This is when the tufts of the cotton wood trees start to float in the air much like snowflakes. It is rather lovely to watch, especially in the sunshine. The Maltese, however, is distressed by the fact that one cannot build a snowman out of summer snow. But then again, he is a sub-intellectual breed of dog and no match for the superior mind of a parti poodle. He cannot appreciate the finer things in life like Shakespeare, Mozart, and Better Call Saul.
I must tell you I have begun planning my summer activities. I would like to voyage to the seashore and fly a kite. I am planning on partaking of a ride to the country where I will panic and bark excessively all the way. I will take morning walks with my novelist and point out the different flora and fauna along the way whether she wishes to notice them or not. And I will avoid fireworks at all costs. Those dreadful things are far too loud for my tastes. And of course, I will continue telling my tale Catzilla. I should also mention this Tuesday the thirtieth of May is my birthday. The Maltese is planning a surprise party for me where I and my many admirers will partake of canapés and water spiked with Aquadent. This year he has promised me a lovely cake for which I am more than deserving. I have put in a request for a new collar, one with diamonds this time. Beautiful poodles deserve beautiful things you see. And with that thought, here is chapter five of my story Catzilla. Jouir!
Gigi the parti poodle
I spent most of the day thinking about the kitten. After I’d finished my homework in detention, I drew a picture of it sitting in my garage with the overhead light illuminating its green eyes, its stealth fighter ears flattened back, and its fangs bared. Quincy leaned over and said, “That is one angry cat. Is it a self-portrait?” I ignored him and touched up the picture as I waited for my second day in detention to end.
When I finally got to leave the classroom and head home, I felt a huge sense of relief. The sun shone a little brighter, the sky looked a little bluer and the spring flowers smelled a little sweeter. That was until I heard Ellery’s electric bicycle rolling down the opposite side of the street.
“Hey, Briar,” he said with a condescending sneer. “How’s it hanging?”
“I don’t have time for this,” I said looking straight ahead. “I’m on a mission.”
“A mission, huh. Sounds serious.”
“It is serious.”
“What’s the mission?”
“My mother needs me to do something.”
“Lame or not it’s my mission and I’m doing it.”
“You know what I’m going to do?”
“I couldn’t care less.”
“I’m going to take your school picture, superimpose it on a porn star and post it online.”
“I’m surprised your vocabulary includes “superimpose.”
“And everyone at school is going to see it and send it to everyone they know.”
“You’re going through a lot of trouble to irritate me.”
“I’m just telling you what I’m going to do.”
As we approached my driveway, I could see my mother putting Harlow’s crate behind the driver’s side. “Briar,” she called and waved to me.
“See? My mom needs me to go on a mission.”
I started towards the car when Ellery said, “Did you find a kitten by chance?”
I stopped, turned, and faced him. “What?”
“A reddish-brown kitten. She’s our newest pet. We thought our two Himalayans needed a toy, so we gave them a kitten.”
“I don’t think you’re supposed to do that.”
“Anyway, the kitten ran off and we can’t find it anywhere. I was just wondering if you’d seen it wandering around the neighborhood.”
“Mom,” I called out. “I think the kitten belongs to Ellery.” Mom looked at us. I could tell by the way she put her hand on her hip she didn’t like the situation.
“Really,” she said.
“Hello, Briar’s mom,” Ellery said and waved.
“Get away from my daughter.”
“Sounds like you and Briar found a kitten.”
“Briar, come here.” I continued towards my mother. Ellery wheeled his bike a little closer to our driveway. “Go home, Ellery.”
“That kitten you found belongs to me.”
“Then you must have taken a picture of it.”
“Show it to me. Right now.”
Ellery was starting to understand my mother meant business. He leaned his bike to one side as he took out his phone and scrolled through his pictures. “It’s here somewhere…”
“How hard can it be, Ellery? You’re a teenager. You’re addicted to your phone. Half your life is spent filming videos and taking pictures.”
“Just hang on. I’ll find it.”
My mother narrowed her eyes. “Show it to me later, Ellery. Briar and I are on a mission.”
“That’s what Briar said.”
“And stop talking to my daughter. She doesn’t like you and frankly neither do I.”
My mother hopped in the car, turned on the engine and started backing out. I looked over at Ellery’s confused face and smiled.
We pulled up to the front of the Emergency Animal Hospital which was at the end of a strip mall and parked. We got out and mom grabbed the crate from behind the driver’s side seat and we headed for the automatic doors.
A veterinary nurse wearing a mask came out to greet us. “Hi,” she said obviously blocking anyone from entering the hospital. “What do we have here?”
“We found a kitten,” my mom said. “It didn’t have a collar or tags, so we came here to find out if it is microchipped.”
“Oh, sure,” the nurse said. “Stay out here and I’ll go get two readers and we’ll scan the kitten with both.”
My mother set the crate down by her side and I could hear the kitten clawing at the bars. “I think it’s actually Ellery’s kitten,” I said.
“Probably is,” my mother said. “I hope he and his parents had the sense to get it microchipped.”
“Harlow isn’t microchipped.”
“True. But we’re responsible pet owners. Ellery and his parents are not.”
“You’re likely right. But we don’t know that for sure.”
The nurse returned with her two devices. “Okay,” she said. “Let’s get this little sweetheart out of the cage.”
“Okay,” my mother said before she knelt and popped the latch on the crate and opened the door.
I have to say, I was impressed my mother somehow got the “little sweetheart” in the cage in the first place.
“Okay, sweetie,” the nurse said to the kitten. “Let’s see if we can figure out who your mommy or daddy are.”
She pulled a pair of medical gloves out of her smock, snapped them on and slowly reached into the crate. She gingerly took hold of the kitten who hissed and took a swipe at her.
“Someone’s fussy, aren’t they?”
The kitten, not fond of being patronized, hissed louder. The veterinary nurse took the first device which looked like an electronic paddle and swiped it over the kitten several times in several places. “Nothing with that one,” she said. “Let’s try the other.” She swiped the second electronic paddle over the kitten several times in several places. “Nope. The kitten isn’t chipped. She doesn’t look like a stray…she does look a bit hungry though. What I would suggest is to take her home, feed her one of our cans of cat food we have here at the clinic and see if we can get her up to a healthy weight.”
“Alright,” my mother said as the veterinary nurse put the distempered feline back in the crate.
After we purchased the overpriced canned cat food and put Harlow’s crate behind mom’s seat we climbed in the car, shut the doors and I said, “We should take the kitten over to Ellery’s. I’m pretty sure it’s their cat.”
“Those two nasty Havanas will tear it apart.”
“But we can’t keep it at our house. I can already tell you’re wheezing from its dander.”
“I’m fully aware of my suffering. But we can’t just turn her over to them to be destroyed.”
“I don’t think we have much of a choice, mom. You know they have its papers, and it was probably expensive.”
“Perhaps. But I have a bad feeling about this whole thing.”
You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!
STREAM OF THE WEEK: VALLEY GIRL (1983)-SHOWTIME
My second pick of 80’s sleepers is a wonderful time capsule with gowns designed by Jessica McClintock, one of the hot designers of the era. In fact, all the clothes in the film are a lot of fun and in strong contrast to the drab fast fashion garbage made today that no teenager should be swindled into wearing.
The movie is set in the San Fernando Valley in California as well as Hollywood to provide a Romeo and Juliet based teenage tale. Julie Richman (Deborah Forman) is the daughter of well-to-do former hippies Steve Richman (Frederic Forest) and Sarah Richman (Colleen Camp) who own a successful health food store. Julie is a Valley Girl from wealthy upper middle-class suburbia. She is well liked and has a circle of attractive friends including Stacey (Heidi Holicker), Suzi (Michelle Meyrink) and Loryn (Elizabeth Daily). They spend their days attending a posh high school and going shopping at the local mall. Julie had been dating preppy boyfriend Tommy (Michael Bowen) but the two recently broke up. No surprise as Tommy is a liar, a bully, and a scumbag who, after the breakup, takes no time aggressively and covertly pursuing Loryn.
One day on the beach, Julie happens to see an attractive new boy named Randy (Nicolas Cage in his first leading role in a major motion picture) and the two are instantly smitten. Randy, however, is reluctant to approach her because he is a punker who comes from the far less opulent Hollywood area. But his best friend Fred Bailey (Cameron Dye), a more happy-go-lucky optimist, encourages Randy to join him in crashing a party Julie is going to be attending. The two punker boys show up looking quite a bit different from the preppy crowd. But despite their opposing backgrounds Randy and Julie find the attraction between them is quite strong and thus begins the odyssey of these two star-crossed lovers.