Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter seven of my story Corn Maze. I must say this has been a most unconventional week. We had an unexpected visitor stay with us over the weekend. A shih tzu mix. I did not wish to have any visitors, but my novelist insisted. In fact, the shih tzu was lost and my novelist found her wandering alone on the street. I reluctantly agreed to allow the visitor to stay with us as she was at least four times my size. Probably five times larger than the Maltese.
She was a lot bigger than I am. A lot bigger.
Yes, she was bigger than you, Tucker. Anyway, our novelist went on social media and posted that we’d found a dog and then printed posters and put them around the neighborhood. The owner called the next morning, and we promptly returned the shih tzu mix to her home. We invited her back here today so she could provide an idea of what she thought about Chateau Gigi. Good morning, Barshashi.
Good morning, Gigi. Thank you for having me.
Of course. I was hoping you could give us your thoughts about staying at Chateau Gigi this past weekend.
Well, I must say, although being lost was a disturbing experience, I found your grounds most pleasing.
Why, thank you.
Mostly because your owner…
Novelist. I am not owned. I own a novelist.
Yes, yes, of course. Your novelist took good care of me despite your obvious jealous attitude.
What? I was not jealous.
Gigi was jealous. She was very, very jealous.
Shut up, Tucker. How did you find your dining experience, Barshashi?
It was most satisfying. I was hungry and your food was tasty. You did seem upset about me eating it.
I was not upset. You were hungry and needed supper. Our chef…
You mean our novelist.
Tucker, if you don’t stop talking…
Your novelist did a great job of opening the can and putting the food in my dish.
Yes…well, it’s certainly a task I cannot do by myself. And by the way that was my bowl…
And I very much appreciated all the petting and kind words your novelist gave me. Even though it made you jealous.
It did not make me jealous! How many times do I have to…! Yes, well, Barshashi, thank you for stopping by. I think if you avoid getting lost in the future and never return to Chateau Gigi and never ever take attention away from me again, we can consider this to have been a successful endeavor for all. Au revoir. Off you go. And now here is chapter seven of my story Corn Maze. Nasoloditisya!
Gigi the parti poodle
It was a beautiful summer day with a clear blue sky. Not a cloud to be found. Farley stood on his porch and studied the final draft of his corn maze. At last, it was complete. The corn stalks had grown to a perfect height and were ready to be cut. He’d stayed up all night finishing the map and now at six o’clock in the morning he could begin to carve out his vision.
Dixon and Easton pulled up the driveway in their pickup trucks with the equipment.
“Mornin’,” Farley said to his cohorts. “How you doing today?”
“You got your design all ready, Farley?” Dixon asked disembarking his truck.
“Oh, yeah. I’m raring to go.”
“Let’s have a look-see,” Easton said sliding his thumbs into his jeans and hitching them up. He walked over to the porch and Farley handed him the sketch. “Oh, now that’s a beauty. Kind of different though…you usually have more of a…I don’t know. It’s different.”
“Why’s it different this year, Farley?” Dixon asked taking a gander at the sketch.
“This one’s not for beauty,” Farley said. “It’s for confusion.”
“Confusion, huh? Well, I’d say this design will cause that.”
“Aren’t you worried about losing the contest or something with a maze that abstract?” Easton asked.
“Oh, I’m not going to lose,” Farley said. “That you can be sure of.”
“Well, I’ve got to tell you, Farley. You usually come up with something beautiful. This here is not what I’d call beautiful.”
“I’m not going for aesthetics. I’m going for complexity.”
“But Farley, you’re corn mazes in the past…”
“Why don’t you boys just unload your equipment and let’s get to work.”
“Alright Farley,” Dixon said. “It’s your corn maze, man. I just got to tell you this is one twisty-twine path you want us to carve.”
From an upstairs window Valerie observed the three men. With Farley focused on his corn maze she’d have plenty of time to consider her finances and future. If her timing was right, she could just disappear. It wouldn’t take more than an afternoon to load up her things. She would have to finish her classes first, of course. And then there was Harley. Harley was a lost cause. He was engaged. He was settled and even though she would miss him…terribly, she would be fine on her own.
Farley must have seen her up in the window because he waved. What was he trying to prove anyway? That he could build a better mousetrap than Harley?
“This here’s going to take longer than years past, Farley,” Dixon said. “What with all the extra twists and turns you’ve added in.”
“Are you telling me you can’t do it?” Farley asked.
“No, we can do it. I’m just warning you it’s going to take a lot of finite work to produce the additional twists and turns.”
“I’ve got all the time in the world.” Farley turned to wave at Valerie again. “All the time in the world.”
Harley looked over his corn field. The stalks were high enough to be cut now. He studied his sketch. It was the craziest designs he’d ever done. A labyrinth without any outwardly sensical pattern and at least two dozen dead ends he’d noticed after perusing over it again this morning.
It was even crazier than that final project he’d done his college senior year. He’d always been good at taking things apart and putting them back together. His parents must have gone through several alarm clocks he’d taken apart so the alarm would go off differently. He’d also broken into a couple of DVD players and fiddled with the connections. One of them even produced a cleaner picture after he finished with it.
When he’d worked as a barista during the summer between his senior year of high school and his freshman year of college, he’d ripped apart the business’s industrial espresso maker just to see if he could brew a better cup of coffee. It was a good thing he did it at night when he was the only closer. He figured out how to get it all back together with thirty minutes to spare before the morning barista came in to open the shop.
Dust billowed up in the distance as the two guys who would mow the pattern into his corn crop drew near. Harley thought about what he would do if he won. What would it even mean? He hadn’t spoken to Valerie since this whole mess began. A lump formed in his throat when he realized how much he’d missed her.
“Hey there, Harley,” Dixon said climbing out of the truck.
“Good morning,” Harley replied.
“We just got done cutting Farley’s maze yesterday.”
“Yeah? How’s it looking?”
“It’s a doozy, I tell you what. Weirdest design I’ve ever seen.”
“Morning, Harley,” Easton said walking up to the porch. “You ready to make that work of art you’ve got in that hot little hand of yours a reality?”
Harley thought about this for a moment. “I am,” Harley said. “I definitely am.”
You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!
STREAM OF THE WEEK: BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD DO THE UNIVERSE (2022)-Paramount+
This little comedy is one of the best new movies you’ll see this summer. Not quite as good as their first film Beavis and Butthead Do America (and do see this one as well if you haven’t) but awful darned close. Beavis and Butthead find themselves entering their school’s science fair which after an experiment goes horribly wrong lands them in front of a judge who sentences them to space camp where things go incredibly wrong and then things take a turn for the hilarious. This is a great summer film that gleefully thumbs its nose at political correctness (especially funny is a two-part scene at a university) and cheerfully lets its characters run rampant…like most characters should but don’t and then end up in a horrible Amazon Original movie. There’s a reason it’s self-proclaimed itself as the dumbest science fiction movie ever made. That’s just code for awesome. Some folks out there may not care for this type of humor and would probably enjoy some of the newly released Amazon Original movies on Prime Video. Said folks are aptly referred to as fartknockers. Run as fast as you can to your television, turn on Paramount+ find this movie, buckle your seatbelts, and take off.