Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here with my thirtieth chapter of Alanna the Piranha. I am in the final stretch of my story and will be starting a new one soon…

I say Easter! You say Bunny!

Tucker! What are you doing in that strange schoolboy outfit?

Easter!

What?

I say Easter! You say Bunny! Easter!

Bunny?

Easter!

Bunny.

I say Easter! You say Bunny! Easter!

Bunny!

Easter!

Bunny!

I say Easter! You say Bunny! Easter!

Bunny!

Easter!

Bunny!

Whoo!

No! What are you doing?! Are you insane?! Get down from there! That’s too high! You’re going to…! Don’t jump! Augh!!!

Easter Bunny Rocks!

You could have seriously injured yourself you inane…

Happy Easter, Baby!

Good grief. And here is Chapter Thirty of Alanna the Piranha. Happy Easter.

Alanna the Piranha

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Day the Thirtieth

Today I found out that if you have a piranha girl eventually your parental units are going to find out.

To my credit it was Alanna’s fault. She once again snuck upstairs to Stacy’s room and hunted around for accessories to wear with her outfit for the Parent’s Weekend show. And she took Fabulous with her. While she was in there, she snagged a couple of scarves and a rhinestone necklace. She struggled a little because she has no real arms to speak of. So, when she was reaching for the necklace in Stacy’s armoire, she knocked it off its hook, and it fell and clattered on the wooden floor. Fabulous was smart enough to scurry under Stacy’s bed.

My mom, who was just down the hall heard the sound and came hurrying into the room. Alanna and my mother stared at each other unmoving, neither one saying a word. Finally, my mom said, “Stacy, that has to be the most impressive costume I’ve ever seen you wear.”

Alanna who had heard Stacy’s voice enough times to do a halfway decent imitation of it said, “Thank you.”

“It does make you look shorter for some reason though.”

“Really?”

“But it is quite stunning.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Yes, I do. But Halloween isn’t for months.”

“Oh…well, I am wearing it for a performance.”

“What performance?”

“The Parent’s Day weekend performance.”

“I didn’t know you were performing at Parent’s Day Weekend.”

“I just got invited yesterday.”

“That’s certainly short notice.”

“Yes, but I am prepared. I just needed a few accessories to round out my outfit.”

“You sound unusually chipper today.”

“Do I?”

“Can I make you some lunch? I was just about to prepare sandwiches for Flint and myself.”

“I…I’d like to stay but I need to get back to practicing for this thing.”

This hurt my mother’s feelings. “Oh…well, maybe next time.”

My mother left and Alanna waved her hands around like fans trying to calm herself down from the close call. She whipped out the disposable cell phone I got her and called me.

“Help!” she said like she was gasping for breath. “Your mother found us!”

“What do you mean she found you?”

“I mean Fabulous and I were up here in Stacy’s room…”

“How many times have I told you to keep out of Stacy’s room?!”

“A lot. But that’s not the point. She thinks Stacy is wearing a piranha costume and performing at Parent’s Weekend.”

“She what?”

“What do we do?”

“Flint!” my mom calls to me from the top of the stairs. “Lunch is ready!”

“Mom’s calling me to lunch,” I tell Alanna. “You stay there. I’ll come and get you.”

“I’m scared,” Alanna says.

“You and Fabulous are just going to have to wait.”

My mother is worried I don’t get enough vitamin D and really likes having me go outside as much as possible. So, she sets up brunch in the back yard…even though it’s cold. And then the real terror starts. Stacy comes strolling through the yard with Brooke. This I was not expecting, and I start to freak out.

“Flint,” Brooke says surprised. “I didn’t know you were going to have lunch with us.”

“Stacy,” My mom says. “You decided to stay for lunch after all!”

“What?” Stacy’s says with a confused look on her face.

I have this strange feeling Alanna and Fabulous are watching us from Stacy’s window. And I realize they’re probably hungry and want something to eat. “Excuse me for just a moment,” I say.

They give me a quizzical look and I hurry back into the kitchen and grab a couple of geometric patterned paper plates from off the counter. I check outside to make sure no one is watching and slap a cucumber sandwich, a handful of potato chips and of course a frosted cookie on each plate and hurry downstairs to the basement and set them on my table. I grab Alanna’s cape, then I sneak back upstairs to Stacy’s room.

“Let’s go now,” I say tossing Alanna the cape. “I got you guys some lunch and put it downstairs, so you don’t go hungry.”

“Why don’t you just invite us to the party?” Fabulous asks.

“Are you kidding? My mom thinks Alanna is her daughter in a cool piranha costume.”

“Did you get us something to drink?” Alanna asks as she wraps the cape around her shoulders and puts the hood up over her head.

“I’m thirsty too,” Fabulous says.

“Okay, okay. I’ll see what my mom has. Let’s go.”

“A latte would be good.”

“A latte? I don’t think so.”

“Oh, I want a latte too,” Alanna says.

“No!” I tell them putting my foot down. “You cannot have coffee! I’ll get you lemonade or something.”

“Make it pink lemonade. The kind with strawberry slices in it.”

“How do you even know there’s such a thing as strawberry lemonade?”

“Commercials,” the two of them say in unison.

“Whatever. Let’s go.”

Alanna scoops up Fabulous in her hand and we leave the room. We hurry down the hall and rush down the stairs to the main floor. We are just about to open the door to the basement when my mom comes through the kitchen.

“Flint?” she says upon seeing Alanna, Fabulous and me.

Alanna freezes in her tracks and Fabulous starts shaking like crazy. My mother does a double take. I take a deep breath and try to figure out what to do next.

“Flint,” my mother says again. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”

“Uh…this is Alanna. She’s…a friend of mine.”

My mother looks down at Alanna’s shoes which instead of being sneakers like they should be are a pair of Stacy’s high heels.

“I see,” my mother says. “Aren’t you going to invite your…friend to lunch?”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I need to get to rehearsal,” Alanna says. “I’m performing for Parent’s Day weekend.”

Mortified, I turn slowly and look at her.

“Really?” my mother says.

“Yes.”

“My daughter is performing at the Parent’s Day weekend too.”

“Really?”

“Alanna, you’re going to be late,” I tell her and grab her by the hand. “I promised I’d drive her over to rehearsals.”

“But we’re just about to have lunch,” my mom says.

“Oh…hi, Alanna,” Brooke says coming into the kitchen and the most inopportune time. “Are you joining us for lunch too?”

“I’m taking her to her rehearsal,” I say.

“You know her?” my mother asks.

“It’s Flint’s girlfriend,” Stacy says shoving a baby carrot in her mouth as she saunters up behind Brooke.”

“Girlfriend?” my mom says surprised. “You have a girlfriend?”

“We’re just friends, mom,” I say dragging Alanna through the kitchen towards the door.

“Apparently, she’s performing at Parent’s Weekend with you,” my mom says to Stacy.

“What?” Stacy says confused. “I’m not performing at Parent’s Weekend.”

“You just told me you were when you were in your room not more than thirty minutes ago wearing that elaborate fish costume.”

“Are you on drugs? I’d never wear a fish costume. Unless I was a sexy mermaid princess or something.”

“But…Flint!” my mother calls after me. “What is going on?”

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and the five installments in my Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!!!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: CRUELLA (2021)-Disney+

I must admit when I sat down to watch Cruella I was not expecting much. But I came away pleasantly surprised. This is an eye popping, clever, entertaining Disney tale for both kids and adults alike. Emma Stone as Estelle/Cruella and Emma Thompson as the Baroness are fantastic, the story is well crafted by Dana Fox, Tony McNamara, Aline Brosh, Kelly Marcel, and Steve Zissis, and Craig Gillespie (I, Tonya & Lars and the Real Girl) turns in a terrific directing job. Not to mention the gorgeous highly imaginative Oscar winning costumes by Jenny Beavan which are as someone pointed out to me a character in the film as well.

This is the origin story for the villain Cruella from the film One Hundred and One Dalmatians based on the novel The Hundred and One Dalmatians by Dodie Smith. Estella is a brilliant and eccentric child. Raised by her sweet and kind single mother she learns the value of a mother’s love from a young age. But plucky Estella has difficulty getting along with others in school and her mother sees it might be better for the two of them to move to London. On the way, her mother makes a detour to visit an old friend and pandemonium ensues. The events that occur set Estella on the path to follow her dream of becoming a great fashion designer and eventually one of Disney’s most notorious villains.