Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. The others were most disturbed by the realization that Crispin the Coyote was on the prowl. It concerned all of us, but we knew we had to take a chance and attempt to rescue our precious Persian cat Demeter, especially since we had a van and could remain inside where Crispin could not reach us.

Ruffles the bulldog parked the van across the street from the yellow house and we waited. I was most concerned that the Dachshund twins had brought an extra-large bag of Cheetos Puffs. Titus ripped it open while Tyler began munching them down. Not to be outdone, Titus began munching them down as well.

“Don’t get that orange stuff all over my owner’s van,” Ruffles barked, “or you’re going to get it!”

Artemis who’d had just about enough of their tomfoolery reached out and swiped her claws across the back of Tyler’s head. He yelped and put his back paw up to his ear. She glared at Titus, who dropped the bag of puffs from his mouth and sat.

“When do you think these buyers are coming?” Bruiser the Jack Russell asked. “I’m getting restless. I’m climbing the walls.”

“They’ve got to be coming soon,” Madeline the British Shorthair said. “We’ve been here for at least—”

“Half an hour,” Charlotte the Chow said.

“Yes, half an hour.”

“Augh!” Bruiser said jumping up and down. “It feels like a year!”

“It’s not been a year,” Edison the Manx said. “I do wish you’d stop bouncing around.”

“I can’t help it! I can’t help it!”

“You’re going to bang your head on the ceiling of my owner’s van,” Ruffles said. “If you guys don’t settle down and start acting like civilized pets I’m going to—”

“Someone’s coming,” Charlotte the Chow said.

All of us turned to see a bright orange Hummer SUV drive up the hill and turn into the cul-de-sac and up in front of the yellow house. I pressed my little black poodle nose against the glass and watched. The gigantic Hummer door opened and out stepped a woman wearing a silky camo print dress and one of those big fluffy faux fur coats in the same color as the Hummer. A man got out as well. He wore jeans, Dr. Martin Boots and a leather vest. He had so many tattoos I do not believe he had any area left on his body to add another drop of ink.

The two of them headed to the front door and we all held our breath and waited. Then we all gasped in shock when the kidnapper came to the door. He had something in his hand. Ruffles looked through his binoculars and said, “It’s a can of cat food.”

“My goodness!” Artemis said. “She must be inside.”

“Where do you think he kept her?” Edison said. “Madeline and I never saw her when we were trapped in there.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we get my sister out.”

Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: COLUMBO (1971)-AMAZON PRIME

If you are stressed out, wired up, mad as hell and not about to take it anymore, then this show is for you. One of the best television series (each episode averages around a full-length 90-minute movie) of the 1970’s, this is much more relaxing to watch than many modern shows and every episode is about a murder. Imagine that. Someone pointed out to me that the color schemes in modern shows are much brighter and bolder looking than their 1970’s and 1980’s counterparts which shows a demand for spectacle over substance. Not only that, but the best ones of these eras also take their time and unfold with a more cerebral quality than a visceral one.

And the acting here is excellent. The show drew such actors as Roddy McDowall, Janet Leigh, Vincent Price, Faye Dunaway, Leslie Nielsen, Johnny Cash, Leonard Nimoy, William Shatner, Dick Van Dyke, Kim Cattrall, Bruno Kirby, Jamie Lee Curtis, Martin Sheen, Celeste Holm, Robert Culp, Joyce Van Patten, Ruth Gordon, Mariette Hartley, John Cassavetes, Gena Rowlands, Blythe Danner, Myrna Loy, Ray Milland, Eddie Albert, Suzanne Pleshette, Don Ameche, Anne Francis, Vera Miles, Dean Stockwell, Donald Pleasence, Anne Baxter, Valerie Harper, Laurence Harvey, Martin Landau, Robert Conrad, Robert Vaughn, George Hamilton, Lesley Ann Warren, Ricardo Montalban, and Jack Cassidy. In fact, the very first episode was directed by Steven Spielberg and written by Steven Bochco. Try and get that level of talent for a show today. In fact, it’s a shame that it’s difficult to do a show like this in the modern world because, if the concept was good and it was written right it would probably be a hit.

Every episode starts out showing you how the murderer committed the crime. And then here comes this bedraggled scruffy looking detective driving a beaten-up bland looking 1959–1960 Peugeot 403 Cabriolet. Sometimes accompanied by a basset hound named Dog. But do not be fooled for Columbo (iconically played by Peter Falk) is a genius INTP. INTPs are usually the valedictorian of their high school class. They may wear their pants on backwards occasionally, or talk obsessively about their favorite video game, but they are also the ones who come up with such gems as E = mc2. The joy of each Columbo mini movie is watching this guy do his work. He is polite, well-mannered, embarrassingly humble and a bit of a doofus. But all of it adds up to him solving the crime and wearing the perpetrator down until they screw up and entrap themselves.

Currently, half the fun of watching the show is to get a glimpse of life at that time with the opulent 70’s décor and the far-out clothes. Columbo, however, could likely walk on screen today and look as if he were from this era. Maybe that’s part of the magic.