Happy Halloween! It is I Gigi the parti poodle to wish you all sorts of spooky joy and to introduce the forty-eighth chapter of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. Today we are preparing for the trick or treaters. While my novelist gathers goodies to spoil the little moppets with, I too am preparing for this annual festival. I am lying on my back and practicing my breathing. I have a tuning fork and metronome for which I am timing out my bark. I have trotted around our abode to make certain my endurance is strong. I have practiced running to the door and back to memorize my path. What would Halloween be to these costumed munchkins if there was not a poodle to bark at them viciously when they come knocking on the door and holding their bags out for treats? It is my civic duty to make certain they are properly threatened by all six pounds of me. And I mean all six pounds. I’d love to stay and chat more, but I need to get to my calisthenics before dark. And with that thought here is Chapter Forty-Eight of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. Have a bewitching Halloween!
Certified Sadistic Accountant
by
Gigi the parti poodle
Chapter Forty-Eight
Makenna climbed into the minivan and stuck the keys she’d stolen from Grady’s jacket pocket while the accountants were fumbling around in the dark into the ignition.
“Going somewhere?”
Makenna turned to find Curtis sitting in the passenger seat. She scowled. “Why aren’t you inside?”
“Did you see me go inside?”
“I saw you turn off the road into the driveway.”
“Right about now I’ll bet Grady, Irwin and Lance are all locked in the attic. Little theatrics go a long way.”
“You kidnapped Fia.”
“You and Lance broke into my house and killed my dog.”
“We didn’t kill your dog—”
“You chased her outside and she ran into the street. None of that would have happened if you hadn’t broken into my house.”
Makenna scoffed. “You’re cracked.”
“I have tapes that clearly show Lance spray painting my surveillance camera lens.”
“I’m not Lance’s keeper.”
“There’s more footage of you and Lance running out of the house and chasing Haven into the street.”
“You kidnapped Fia. I know that’s why you didn’t show up on the day of the sting.”
“I was working on a client’s tax forms and lost track of time.”
“That’s a flimsy alibi, Cook. And clearly this house you have here has an attic.”
“A lot of houses have attics.”
“You kept Fia in yours. Or maybe she chose to be there.” Makenna smiled at him with the kind of smile a crocodile might use if it were human. “Maybe she has Stockholm Syndrome.”
“If I’d kidnapped Fia I’d be behind bars right now.”
“Oh, you kidnapped her or faked a kidnapping all right. Otherwise, you would have gone to the police right away with this film footage you claim to have of Lance and me. But you didn’t, which means you’re either guilty or stupid. And I know you’re not stupid.”
“I’m going to turn it in to the police.”
“I’ll bet up in the attic where that music was coming from your little bohemian sweetheart was helping you. The other accountants may have easily been led astray, but I was not. That’s why they’re in there and I’m out here.”
“You had no right to hurt Haven, Makenna”
“Will you shut up about that stupid pocket rat. You’re obsessed with that dead furball. It’s like watching an Alfred Hitchcock film about someone obsessing about a dead woman. Except in your case, it’s a dead dog. I feel sorry for you, Cook. You don’t even have a real human being to care about. All you have are other people’s taxes and a canine to mourn. Your priorities are tilted. A dog is nothing except a bedwarmer or something to dry your hands on. Snap out of it already. Get a life. Buy an iguana. I did.”
“Why did you kill Haven, Makenna. Wasn’t it enough you and Lance and Grady all won the tax season award?”
Makenna scoffed. “Is that what this is all about? You never got to wear a sash across your swimsuit? The only reason you’ve never won is—”
“Is what?”
A strange look crossed Makenna’s face. “Are you recording this conversation?”
“Recording?”
“You are, aren’t you. You’re trying to get a confession out of me. Well, confess this. You kidnapped Fia or conspired with her to stage her kidnapping. Either way you’re going to prison. Now get out of my van.”
“This is Grady’s van.”
“Not anymore.”
“Why’d you kill my dog, Makenna?”
“Did you not hear a single insult I’ve slung at you? Get out of this van right now or I will be forced to use duress.”
“Why’d you kill my dog?”
“I didn’t kill your dog.”
“Why’d you take Haven from me?”
“Shut up and get out of my van.”
“Why did you take Haven from me?”
Makenna grabbed the keys and pulled them out of the ignition. She looked at Curtis with the darkest pools of evil he’d ever seen as she rolled down the window. “Help!” she yelled. “Help me, I’m being attacked!”
“Why, Makenna?”
“Help!”
“Why’d you kill my dog?”
“Help!” Makenna yelled as she took the car keys and jammed them into Curtis’s stomach.
MY BOOKS
You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!
STREAM OF THE WEEK: ALIEN (1979) HULU
As this is Halloween, I decided to go with something traditional and superb. And one with an interesting story behind it. Basically, two writers Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett were down on their luck. O’Bannon was sleeping on couches and floors of friends after he was writing the screenplay for the original incarnation of the film Dune where the director Alejandro Jodorowsky was going to make the film. But when that fell through O’Bannon became broke and disillusioned. He found himself sleeping on Shusett’s couch one night and the two who were science fiction aficionados began writing the short story for Alien. You can read about the rest of their screenwriting collaboration here.
If you have never seen this classic sci-fi horror movie it goes like this: A spaceship named Nostromo has a seven-person crew comprised of Captain Dallas (Tom Skerrit), Executive Officer Kane (John Hurt), Warrant Officer Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), Navigator Lambert (Veronica Cartwright), Science Officer Ash (Ian Holm), and engineers Parker (Yaphet Kotto) and Brett (Harry Dean Stanton). They are on their way back to earth when the ship’s computer, aptly named Mother, receives a signal from a nearby planet. As it is the job of the crew to investigate any planets for possible alien life forms, they decide to go down and investigate. Warrant Officer Ripley, the story’s voice of reason, suspects this might be a warning and has no desire to go down to the planet and risk the safety of the crew. But she loses the decision.
Captain Dallas, Navigator Lambert, and Executive Officer Kane head down and whilst there, Executive Officer Kane stumbles across a chamber of what appears to be large eggs. When he reaches out to touch one, a spiderlike creature breaks out of the shell, hurls itself at him, breaks through his helmet and imbeds itself into his face. Captain Dallas and Navigator Lambert find him and carry him back to board the ship. But Warrant Officer Ripley doees not want them to enter. She thinks Executive Officer Kane may bring a contaminant on board that could harm the rest of the crew and compromise the ship. However, Science Officer Ash insists on opening the pod bay doors as it were and Captain Dallas and Navigator Lambert carry the attacked Executive Officer Kane on board. If you have never seen the movie, telling you more than that is just wrong. Except perhaps to say that Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett may have had some serious mommy issues.
Gigi Catches Air 