Something is Amuck

August 7, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here and I must tell you I sense something is amuck. My novelist is eyeing her suitcase and carryon. This is never a good thing. She must be planning a trip which means I likely won’t be going with her. I could not sleep on the bed last night. I jumped down and went to the living room and lay in the recliner. It took me a long time to fall asleep and when I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see the sun streaming in the window. I headed outside and had a discussion with Bernard D. Bunny as he often rises early. He was nibbling on grass when I found him. I told him about my concerns, and he listened intently. He asked me about the last time I was dropped off at the canine resort about a year ago and I went in depth about all the horrifying details. He said, but you survived, and she came back and took you home. And I said yes, but that it was unbearably lonely, and I had to spend my days with some rather shady characters, though I did have a private room at night. He said if she is going to do the same thing again, she would indeed return to pick me up and I should consider the time apart from her to be an adventure. And a time to work on my blog story. I made it perfectly clear I did not like adventures as much as I relished order and control. Bernard said I would find a way to maintain order and control even if that order and control was only over myself. I nodded and thanked him for his wisdom. But still, I sense something is amuck, and I am most displeased. I will keep you posted. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: WOLFS (2024) APPLE TV+**

If you are looking for something light, fun and exciting to stream this summer, this is the movie for you. Originally this motion picture was supposed to come out in theatres in a wide release but then was given a limited release and streamed on Apple TV+. I can see where the film would have looked great on the big screen, especially the whimsical chase scene which is great. And I honestly wish it had gotten a wider release. That said I think a lot of folks will have a blast streaming it, what with its fun albeit twist driven script penned by director Jon Watts and terrific performances from its stars.

We start out somewhere in uptown Manhattan with the sound of breaking glass and many expletives from a female character. As the camera draws us closer, we find district attorney Margaret (Amy Ryan) in a panic and running around a high-end hotel suite. She is panicked as she attempts to call someone on her cell phone. She tells the person on the other end she was supposed to call them if she was ever in serious trouble…which she is.

We find out the person she is calling is in a private phone booth in a questionable bar somewhere else in the city. We soon meet Margaret’s Man (George Clooney), a highly seasoned cooler than ice professional cleaner who drives to her hotel and proceeds to clean up Margaret’s problem, a college aged young man known only as the Kid (Austin Abrams) who has fallen off the bed, crashed through a glass drinks cart and is lying motionless on the floor. As Margaret’s Man attempts to go about his job cleaning up the mess, there is a knock at the door. Margaret and Margaret’s Man are confused by this, but the ever cool as a cucumber Margaret’s Man tells her to answer the door casually. She does and to both their surprise in walks another cleaner who turns out to be Pam’s Man (Brad Pitt). Pamela Dowd-Herdry (voiced by Frances McDormand) has recently acquired the hotel and the last thing she needs is controversy. She witnessed the whole thing from a camera in the hotel room. She wants both Margaret’s Man and Pam’s Man to work together to clean up the mess and solve her problem. The two men are skeptical at first but begrudgingly agree to do so. But as they do, unexpected and bizarre events begin pop up which put the pair into continually deeper hot water.

Out To Lunch

July 24, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. My novelist got me up early today and demanded we go downtown to run some errands. She promised me lunch, so I feel somewhat pacified by that. I love having lunch downtown. There is a certain je ne sais quoi about it. Also, it gives me a chance to study people for my characters. They certainly have no problem studying me. You’d think they’d never seen a poodle in an eatery before. It is not like I am gauche when I dine. I use a napkin, and I take small bites. What more do they want?

I must say it has been a much calmer week upon the return of my novelist. I am not as distracted by the need to sit by the door and wait for her return. I have been able to enjoy my afternoons outside with her close by. I have also been more focused on my writing and have made headway on my new blog story. It is a change of pace writing further along in my tale instead of week to week.

Bernard and I had tea yesterday and he was glad to see I was in good spirits. It is important to find joy in life, he told me. I wholeheartedly agreed. Joy and success. And money: lots of money. I would love to have lots of money. I am a poodle after all, and poodles have champagne taste. One can never be too curly or too rich. Bernard rolls his eyes at this but c’est la vie. I want that diamond collar and someday it shall be mine. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: STAGECOACH (1939)-HBO MAX**

Every so often I like to feature a must-see classic movie and this week’s is one of the best westerns ever made. It is directed by the legendary John Ford and the script was written by Dudley Nichols and Ben Hecht based on the 1937 short story “The Stage to Lordsburg” by Ernest Haycox. Shot in glorious black and white the film starts out simple enough. The year is 1880. Four people are taking a stagecoach from Tonto Arizona Territory, to Lordsburg, New Mexico. Amongst them are strait-laced Mrs. Lucy Mallory (Louise Platt), who is travelling to join her cavalry officer husband, timid whiskey salesman Samuel Peacock, cheery alcoholic medical doctor Doc Boone (brilliantly played by Thomas Mitchell), and heart of gold prostitute Dallas (Claire Trevor). Dallas is being chased out of town by the primarily female “Law and Order League”. The passengers are being transported by their lovable driver Buck (Andy Devine) who just wants to finish the job and get home to his wife. Also, along for the ride is Marshal Curley Wilcox (George Bancroft) who is on the hunt for escaped prisoner Henry the “Ringo Kid” (John Wayne) who broke out of prison to avenge his brother and father’s death at the hands of gunslinger Luke Plummer (Tom Tyler). Plummer and his family helped get Henry imprisoned because they told the law Henry shot their foreman.

As the stagecoach is getting ready to leave, they are stopped by the US Cavalry who tell them that Geronimo is planning an attack. The cavalry offers to escort the stagecoach all the way to Dry Fork station. Professional gambler and former Confederate Army officer Hatfield (John Carradine) notices Lucy as he is playing a game of cards nearby and chivalrously offers to protect her on the ride. They are also joined by a dapper bank embezzler named Ellsworth Henry Gatewood (Berton Churchill).

After parting ways with the cavalry, the members of the stagecoach run into Henry the “Ringo Kid”. Despite being friends with Henry, Marshal Wilcox takes him aboard the stagecoach as a prisoner. As the motley crew continue towards Lordsburg, they begin to find out secrets about each other and create bonds without fully realizing the imminent danger looming ahead.

Abandoned

July 17, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. Last week when…Him came to the door I ran outside to greet my novelist and realized she was not there. I was most disappointed. The Dog Sitter hurried out, fetched me off the sidewalk and brought me back inside. The two of them seemed upset over my jubilant attempt to greet my novelist and I got a gentle reprimanding. I thought that was most unnecessary. Especially since I was quite saddened to realize my novelist was not there. She had left for her relative’s place. I was forced to spend the weekend without my beloved companion. Not to mention…Him is not generous with treats. In fact, he does not give them out much at all. Neither does the Dog Sitter. I found myself starving. I had to depend on my meals for nutrition, and I find that to be most gauche. I was grateful my novelist made certain my water bowl was filled with cold water and lightly seasoned with Aquadent before she left. Otherwise, I would have suffered from thirst. I don’t think either of them bothered to watch the waterline while she was gone.

Over the course of the next three days, I became quite lonely, and my schedule was altered. I am used to getting up just before six to walk all over my novelist until she gets up and we go outside. But…Him does not get up early. And the Dog Sitter certainly does not get up early. I was forced to watch the morning light stream into my bedroom for two and a half hours before I was able to roam about the grounds. I would spend time sitting in front of the door and looking out the window waiting for her to bring sunshine back into my dismal existence. Occasionally, the Dog Sitter would take me outside where there is an old picnic table. I worked on my upcoming blog story while the Dog Sitter wore headphones and sketched. In the evenings out of sheer loneliness I would cuddle up with…Him. His eye was on the television but mine was on the door.

Finally, sometime in the late afternoon to early evening on Sunday, my novelist returned. You cannot imagine my delight. I jumped up and down with joy as she came to the door and greeted me. You must never leave again, I barked. You must never leave again. I do adore her so. Until next week, may your novelist be there to keep you company during the week until we meet again. I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: MUD (2012)-PARAMOUNT+**

Jeff Nichols is a fantastic indi-film writer-director and this follow-up to his excellent previous movie Take Shelter is a homerun. Set on Mississippi River Island, it tells the story of two young teenagers Ellis (Tye Sheridan in a fantastic early performance) and Neckbone (Jacob Lofland who is also excellent) who live on the river in boathouses in a small town. Ellis lives with his fisherman father Senior (Ray McKinnon) and his mother Mary Lee (Sarah Paulson) and Neckbone lives with his uncle Galen (Michael Shannon who stars in all Nichols’s feature films) who dives for muscle pearls. The two boys who know the town like the back of their hand have heard about a boat on one of the nearby islands that has a boat inexplicably stuck in a tree. When they take a speedboat out to investigate, they find someone has been living in the boat and meet a strange man named Mud (brilliantly played by Matthew McConaughey) who lives off the land and is waiting there to meet his longtime girlfriend Juniper (Reese Witherspoon). He tells the boys he will give them the boat in exchange for food and supplies.

Neckbone is skeptical but Ellis believes Mud is truly planning to meet Juniper. The distraction is good for him since his parents are presently disputing whether to move off the river or to keep their home which, if they move, will be torn down by the state. As he begins to take more risks to assist his new friend, however, he finds himself in deeper trouble as Mud’s secrets slowly start to emerge.

New Story in the Works

June 19, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce this week’s blog. I would like to let you know I am presently working on a new tale for the blog or as my novelist and I like to call it a blog story. The working-title is The Dog Doctor, and it is one of the oddest concepts I’ve penned so far. I will continue to keep you updated about it for the future and let you know when I will be releasing the chapters. I will also be trying a new writing process to craft it and we will see how that goes. Otherwise, it has been a rather dull week. Nothing to report really. I plan to spend the weekend relaxing and watching movies…or at least one movie. Perhaps Bernard and I will put up a sheet outside and invite Belle and baby Brendan to come and watch something wholesome by David Lynch. That would make for a delightful evening. Bernard is suggesting The Straight Story while I think the little ones would find Blue Velvet to their liking. Until next week, have fun at the movies and I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES (1988)-NETFLIX**

Much like Hobson’s Choice which I featured a couple of weeks ago, here is another film all cinephiles should see. One of the earliest movies from the brilliant Studio Ghibli it is one of their very finest, maybe even their best. Based on the semi-autobiographical short story by Akiyuki Nosaka, this astounding masterpiece is set against the backdrop of WWII Japan but not necessarily focused on war. It is more about society and belonging and the dismissive treatment of a country towards its citizens.

The story starts out with an Imperial Japanese Navy captain’s son Seita (Tsutomu Tatsumi) whose mother (Yoshiko Shinohara) and his toddler sister Setsuko (Ayano Shiraishi) must get to a shelter when an incendiary bombing occurs. Their mother runs for the shelter ahead of them while Seita gathers up Setsuko and her doll. The mother makes it to the shelter, but it is severely bombed, and she dies of injuries shortly after. This leaves Seita and Setsuko on their own.

Seita and Setsuko go to their father’s sister’s house where their aunt (Akemi Yamaguchi) takes them in. Unfortunately, Aunt is a staunch believer in totalitarianism and an all-around bossy jerk (think Skyler White or Nurse Ratched) and forces Seita and Setsuko to sell their mother’s precious silk kimonos to buy rice for the family. After doing so Aunt says they have contributed nothing despite Aunt consuming a large portion of the rice. She also goes against Seita’s wishes and tells Setsuko about her mother’s death and belittles the two kids at every chance. She believes both children should work for the good of the war effort, despite Setsuko being a very young child. Her unrealistic expectations cause Seita to take his sister and leave to try and find a way to survive on their own.

Shower Curtains

June 12, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce my blog. Today the shower curtain rod came down. This was a most distressing event. My novelist had to hold up the rod whilst I hurried over to the computer to watch a video on how to put it back up. It is one of those curved types that is held up by tension. This is the video I watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K03RkODZ42M

And so, this kind man showed us how to take the horrifying tangle of curtains, rod and rings off the bathroom floor and put it back up. Now, we figured out ourselves to remove the curtain and the rings first so hurrah for us (not to mention it is not part of the video). Anyway, I sat and studied his how to lesson intently. Of course, as all wise poodles do, I put on my blue light blocking glasses first as eye safety is paramount. Then I took notes which are never easy to do as one must understand I have paws and no opposable thumbs. I could hear my novelist shouting from the bathroom the blood was running out of her arms so I had bark back that it would take as long as it takes and then proceed to take notes with my paw.

When I finished writing, I hopped out of the office chair, retrieved a measuring tape, and trotted into the bathroom. I took the measuring tape and measured the distance from ceiling to rod to make certain the rod was even on both sides, also a challenge with paws. I then barked the instructions up to my novelist reading them off from my notes. She first had to put one arm down and then the other to allow them to recover and then she set the curtain against both walls and twisted the bar for tension. It was a challenge to get the ornamental ends snapped into place. The one went in without a struggle but the second required my novelist to get out her trusty step stool and angle herself correctly to pop it in firmly. We now have a working shower curtain and both of us learned a lesson in home improvement. I am certain Tim Taylor would be proud. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: BAD INFLUENCE: THE DARK SIDE OF KIDFLUENCING (2025)-NETFLIX**

Female psychopaths are exceedingly rare. Only 1 in 1050 women is a psychopath as opposed to 1 in 150 men. But they still exist and here is your chance to see one in the wild. Not to mention she’s a pedophile to boot. I don’t know about you, but I am not an influencer watcher. I don’t get it. I don’t need someone to tell me what dimwit products to buy with their stupid amateur videos. There are enough professionally made commercials out there hocking uninteresting junk that pimp it better with professional actors, directors and writers. But apparently this seedy low-rent schlock is hot. Especially to grown men who make up 92% of the audience for these kids shows. Picture that lurid debauchery if you will. You’d think this low-rent YouTube content would play to other kids but no. It plays to mentally deranged scum.

Tiffany Rockelle is a reptile who happened to give birth to a human daughter. Unfortunately, the daughter was pretty and talented and so like every garden variety psychopath this female lizard saw dollar signs in her third eye. She started putting Baby Jane Piper into pageants when the girl was three years old. And if that isn’t enough to make you shudder, when Piper turned eight, Tiffany shed her scaly skin, tossed her sweet little cash cow in her car and headed out on the road for Hollywood. Once there, Foxy Loxy started building her own little cult, luring children and their mothers into her cave to devour them. And devoured them she did. She picked up some barely legal sucker to be her boyfriend/director to film videos of the pre-teens hanging out with each other and having a good time calling them “the squad” because “the fresh meat” wasn’t catchy enough. Slowly, she got the mothers to give up their expensive apartments and “save money” by moving the kids into a house where she used the mothers as her minions while she had her boytoy film the kids 24-7. That is not an exaggeration. A typical practice of any psychopath: isolate your victims.

After awhile old Tiffany started doing what she had intended to from day one which is turn the films into her own *ahem* “personal fantasy videos”. And after that her actions became a long list of revolting illegal and immoral acts which you must see to believe. If you happen to read this post and you have any association whatsoever with this Ophiophagus hannah, get out now.

Gigi’s Birthday

June 5, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to tell you last Friday was my birthday. In the past when Tucker was alive, we would break out the Aquadent and have quite the bash. This year, however, I decided to celebrate with decorum. Bernard D. Bunny, Belle D. Bunny and their new little cousin Brendan D. Bunny joined me for high tea this week where we dined on scones, pastries and of course cucumber sandwiches. They were scrumptious. I was licking my paws afterwards. Every year I dream of receiving a diamond studded collar which I most deserve. My novelist, however, presented me with a brand-new Mini Skinneeez leopard instead. Although I adored the dog toy, my dreams of elegance were once again dashed. Sometimes novelists simply don’t understand their poodles. We poodles think big and desire great things. Next year I plan to own a small country and rule it with a benevolent iron paw. Perhaps I’ll even invest in a tiara. If I can’t wear something sparkly around my neck at least I can wear something glittering on my head. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

STREAM OF THE WEEK: HOBSON’S CHOICE (1954) HBO MAX

Every so often I like to pick a brilliant classic film every cinephile should be required to see. And so, this week I am featuring a small masterpiece by the great director David Lean who also cowrote this magnificent script with Harold Brighouse and Norman Spencer. One might consider it an early feminist film of sorts about an overbearing, sexist father and his much wilier future thinking daughter.

The story takes place in 1880s Salford, England where Henry Hobson (Sir Charles Laughton), a blowhard tyrannical widower, runs a moderately upscale shoe-making shop. He has three daughters and no sons. He endlessly needles his thirty-year-old eldest Maggie (Brenda de Banzie) who runs the financial part of the business, about being thirty and will always remain an old maid. He has selfishly decided that since his wife has died, Maggie will forever take her mother’s place as in his mind she is too useful to lose. His younger daughters Alice (Daphne Anderson) and Vicky (Prunella Scales) each have boyfriends. Alice is seeing Albert Prosser (Richard Wattis), a young solicitor and Vicky is seeing Freddy Beenstock (Derek Blomfield) a corn merchant’s son. Both sisters want to marry their beaus but Henry, upon finding out he will have to pay a settlement for each marriage, refuses and decides they will remain in his shop as well.

One day, a wealthy older woman named Mrs. Hepworth (Helen Haye) comes in the shop and demands to know who crafted her boots. Up from under the floor comes shoemaker Jim Healer (Joseph Tomelty) who looks at her boots and says they were made by William Mossop (Sir John Mills), a gentle ignorant soul but also a highly gifted shoemaker. Mrs. Hepworth demands seeing Willam and when he comes up from below, she tells him she has been to every shoe shop around and he has made her the best pair of boots she’s ever worn. She then gives him a small sum of money as a thank you.

Shortly after, Maggie, who’s fed up with her father, his drinking, and his insults, calls William up at the end of the day when they are the only two still in the shop. She tells him he is a phenomenal shoemaker and deserves a better career. She says she plans to marry him, poach him, leave her father’s shop, and start a shop of their own.

From Meriam Webster Dictionary:

Hobson’s choice : noun
Hob·son’s choice ˈhäb-sənz-
1 : an apparently free choice when there is no real alternative
2 : the necessity of accepting one of two or more equally objectionable alternatives

From Cambridge Dictionary: Meaning of Hobson’s choice in English

Hobson’s choice
noun [ U ]
uk /ˌhɒb.sənz ˈtʃɔɪs/ us /ˌhɑːb.sənz ˈtʃɔɪs/
a situation in which it seems that you can choose between different things or actions, but there is really only one thing that you can take or do:
a case of Hobson’s choice: It’s a case of Hobson’s choice, because if I don’t agree to their terms, I’ll lose my job.

Convenience Store

May 8, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to tell you about my exciting week. First, the trauma: on Friday I was given a bath. As many of you know baths are not my favorite pastime. However, I have done well overcoming my recent phobias and I was able to get through the whole ordeal without a yelp. Second, the reward: I got to travel to my novelist’s relative’s home. That is always a delight. I love the view of the convenience store across the street. I can lie on the couch and watch the comings and goings of customers. From what I understand, someone once drove right into the front and destroyed the entrance and window. I am always on the lookout for a fun romp, and I patiently waited for disaster to strike again. Alas, I was disappointed. No grand event happened. The only entertainment I partook of was watching strangers coming and going getting coffee, slushy drinks and junk food. The couch, however, was most comfortable and I rather enjoyed my occasional snacks throughout the day as I observed the outside world. All in all, it was a wonderful change of pace from the usual weekend at home. Even if I did not get to see a major convenience store disaster. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

STREAM OF THE WEEK: BANK OF DAVE (2023)-NETFLIX

This week’s pick is a lighthearted thoughtful film based on the true-life experiences of Dave Fishwick, a self-made millionaire from Burnly England. After several years of loaning money to people in his community Dave decided to open a community bank despite the bureaucratic monopoly of HSBC, Barclays, Lloyds Banking Group, and NatWest.

Dave (Rory Kinnear), a likable chap who has a successful business selling vans and mini busses, is fed up with the way the British banks treat the average everyday customer. And so, after being successful loaning out money to people in his hometown, he decides to open his own community bank. He contacts a law firm in London where a couple of lawyers, Clarence (Angus Wright) and Hugh (Joel Fry) are assigned to the case. Clarence sends Hugh to Burnly to handle the work. Hugh, who is very much a city mouse, gets mildly injured on his first day there and meets emergency doctor Alexandra (Phoebe Dynevor) and quickly becomes smitten with her. Alexandra explains to him how the town is in desperate need of a walk-in clinic. Hugh soon finds out Alexandra is Dave’s niece.

Hugh also discovers Dave has a perchance for Karaoke and likes to sing rock songs at the local pub. Hugh visits the pub and gets to meet the locals and understand more about their situation. Though he is not fond of small-town life, Hugh takes a liking to Dave and his cause. Although it has been decades since a new bank has been allowed to form in England, Hugh studies the case diligently and begins to build a case for Dave, which he thinks will outsmart the big banks at their own game.

Selling a House is Difficult Indeed

December 19, 2024 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. Gigi the parti poodle here hoping you are having a wonderful holiday season. This week we finally got our tree up thanks to…Him. It has lights but no decorations yet. My novelist has been helping one of her relatives sell their house as well as starting work on her new novel. It has been utter madness. We’ve hardly had time to breathe. None of our gifts are wrapped. And our home is discombobulated. We have come to learn, as some of you may know, the biggest challenge to selling a house is emptying it. Absolute pandemonium. We have also learned that one of the worst things to sift through in a house is not accessories or books or clothing or dishes or tools. It’s papers. Papers are the worst. You must go through every document to figure out what is important and what is trash. An absolute nightmare. Things can be kept, sold, gifted and/or donated. But not paperwork. I wake up at night after dreaming about the sound of shredders. I now know what it is like to work for UPS. I have nothing but respect for those astute individuals. One would not think a writer would come to despise paper. However, a good writer often writes on their computer, uploading their work to the cloud and keeps notebooks of their writings usually in an orderly or somewhat orderly fashion. But paperwork, well now, that’s a whole different story.

That said, I am keeping a stiff upper lip and keeping my novelist well managed by telling her which pile to put which documents in. She has been remarkably accepting of my suggestions. The sale of the property should be completed this week and then we can settle back into our usual routine and move forward with the holiday season. I for one am still itching for my diamond studded collar to be placed under our tree by Santa or my novelist. Either is satisfactory. And now, here is my novelist’s Stream of the Week. Joyeuses Fêtes!

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: DERRY GIRLS (2018)-NETFLIX**

One of Netflix very best comedies is this absolute gem by Lisa McGee. If you have never seen it, you really, really should. It catches your attention right off the bat and you won’t be able to wait for the next episode. If you are looking for something to binge-watch this holiday season you will find it difficult to choose a better dark comedy than this one about five friends who find themselves in all sorts of wacky teenage situations which come off as utterly entertaining and smartly told. In my opinion, this might be one of the best if not the best teenage ensembles I’ve ever seen put together on a television show. McGee based the show on her teenage years when she attended Thornhill College in Northern Ireland in the early 1990’s. The show won a well-deserved Internation Emmy for its third and final season. At least the Emmys got something right.

Set in the early 1990’s in Northern Ireland in the little town of Derry, lives a group of catholic girls who just want to be teenagers and not bothered with the war, often referred to as The Troubles. Erin Quinn (Saoirse-Monica Jackson) is a sixteen-year-old catholic schoolgirl who keeps a diary and dreams of one day becoming a writer. She lives with her mother Mary Quinn (Tara Lynne O’Neill), her father Gerry Quinn (Tommy Tiernan), her maternal grandfather Joe McCool (Ian McElhinney), her sixteen-year-old cousin Orla McCool (Louisa Harland) and Orla’s mother Erin’s aunt Sarah McCool (Kathy Kiera Clarke).

Erin and Orla attend Our Lady Immaculate College with their friends the neurotic Clair Devlin (Nicola Coughlan) and cock-sure Michelle Mallon (Jamie-Lee O’Donnell). As the show opens on the first day of a new school year, Michelle is accompanied by her cousin James Maguire (Dylan Llewellyn) who has recently moved in with the Mallon’s. He is from England, which all the girls give him a hard time about and is the only male student attending the all-girls school. Our Lady Immaculate College is run by world weary nun Sister Michael (Siobhán McSweeney) who has seen it all and sees through just about everything.

Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Fifty: Final Chapter

November 15, 2024November 15, 2024 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce the fiftieth and final chapter of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. This has been an experiment almost a year in the making. And now it has reached its glorious end. If you are not aware, the idea of my blog stories is to write a story on the fly, chapter to chapter as opposed to creating the foundation of a story and doing the research that accompanies most novels. After today I will be taking a hiatus to assist my novelist in writing…a novel…the traditional way. I will continue to do my usual Thursday posts, and my novelist will continue to write her Stream of the Week. I anticipate returning to writing stories for the blog again in the Summer of 2025 and will keep you updated. Until then, I hope you enjoy my fiftieth and final chapter of Certified Sadistic Accountant. Jouir!

Certified Sadistic Accountant

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Fifty

Curtis opened his eyes. He could see a carpet of green grass and his nose caught the smell of Easter lilies. He sat up and looked around and could see daffodils and tulips blooming in the nearby gardens. As he gazed further away, he saw a haze…maybe a mistiness across the field in the distance. Then he heard a jingle, a light metallic sound.

Out of the mist came a sight that gave him more relief than anything he’d ever seen. His little dog Haven with white satin bows in her hair ran towards him yipping frantically. When she reached him, she stood up on her hind legs and danced in front of him.

Curtis fell on his knees and scooped the little Yorkie runt into his arms. Her silky hair brushed against his cheek as he inhaled her clean scent that swirled in his mind like joy.

“Haven,” he said as warm rivers of tears streamed down his cheeks. “Haven, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you.”

Her small pink tongue flicked at his salty face as he stood up and carried her through the grass. He looked around and saw the mountains with white snowy caps. He could hear water flowing from a nearby fountain. He heard robins and blue jays and chickadees. He looked up into the cherry blossom trees and saw them flitting from branch to branch. He carried Haven over to the fountain, set her down, and sat down beside her. He kicked off his shoes so he could feel the grass on the soles of his feet.

He felt the sun on his face and closed his eyes. When he did, he heard a strange, distorted sound. His eyelids flew open, and the distorted sound stopped. His Cochlear nerve shifted, and the chorus of the birds and the falling water of the fountain once again filled his ears. He petted Haven and she laid her head in his lap. He looked across the rolling grass where brown bunnies hopped around and chased each other.

In the distance, something caught his eye. He studied it trying to make out what it was. It looked familiar but he was unsure. He reached out to his side and felt Haven’s leash curled beside him. He fastened it to Haven’s harness and started walking towards the object with his little dog leading the way. As he approached it, he realized it was a large ornate chair. As he moved around it, he found it was empty as if it were waiting for something or someone to sit on it. Haven trotted over, put her paws on the seat and stood on her hind legs wagging her tail and examining this odd piece of furniture.

“Haven, get down,” Curtis said.

Haven ignored him and hopped up in the seat and sat there wagging her tail.

“Come on. Let’s get down.”

Haven laid down on her stomach, put her head on her paws, and looked up at him with forlorn eyes.

“Cuteness will get you nowhere.”

Curtis reached over to lift her off the chair, but she hopped out of his hands and sat back down as if to say she wasn’t going anywhere. He sighed and sat down on the grass beside her. He closed his eyes and heard the strange, distorted sounds again. His eyes flew open, and the sounds stopped.

Bexley’s plane descended from the sky and landed on the tarmac at exactly 6:00am. She had her small carry-on under the seat in front of her and her larger carry-on with wheels in the bin above. She was sitting in front, and she knew as soon as first class got off the plane she would be inside the airport in no time. Although it was a short flight, she managed to sleep most of the way. The plane had less passengers on it than she’d anticipated.

She looked out the window as the jet’s wheels coasted to a stop. She took her ear plugs out of her ears, reached down and retrieved her small carry-on bag. She stood up, set it on her seat, stepped out into the aisle, grabbed her larger carry-on from the bin above her, and set it on the ground. This was no small task as the carry-on was weighed down with souvenirs she had picked up while in Palm Springs. She stood there waiting for the first-class passengers to disembark. Then she slipped the strap of the small carry-on over her shoulder and dragged her matching larger carry-on behind her as she headed to the front of the plane where she said goodbye to the flight attendants and the vaguely sleezy-looking pilots. She traversed down the jet bridge and arrived at the small airport.

As she headed out the sliding glass doors and stood outside waiting for her shuttle to arrive, she realized how much colder it was here than Palm Springs. Not as cold as winter, but there was a misty rain, and the sky was a somber shade of grey. She regretted giving her phone number to that tall guy who always wore his baseball hat backwards and sported sleeveless white t-shirts with that California microbrew insignia on the back. She also shouldn’t have given her number to that bodybuilder who was always sticking a bottle cap between his thumb and forefinger and snapping it trying to determine how far it would sail through the air. And she never should have given her number to that annoying short guy with the nasal voice who kept following her all around the beach. Note to self: change phone number today.

Bexley was surprised at how empty the shuttle was when she boarded it. The only other passenger was a young woman her own age. The woman had bleach blonde frosted curls, a light tan, and sported an anklet that looked like a friendship bracelet and three gold hoops in each ear. When the young woman sat down, she turned to Bexley and said, “Heading back for Spring Quarter?”

Bexley studied the woman a moment and said, “Something like that.”

“I’m going to end up going Summer Quarter this year too.”

“That sucks.”

“Tell me about it. I had to drop a couple classes this year, so I need to make them up somehow, right?”

Bexley shrugged. “What are you going to do?”

“I know, right?”

The shuttle pulled into a place called The Coconut Express where both women had parked their cars. Bexley and the woman didn’t say anything else to each other. They just got off the shuttle, retrieved their bags, and tipped the driver. Bexley headed to her lime green Fiat, stuck her carry-ons in the trunk and climbed into the driver’s seat. She headed out to the freeway en route to the Dupree Tax Agency before she got off at the second exit.

She drove up to a bikini barista coffee stand called Kitty Cat Cappuccino. She’d worked at one outside of town a few years ago before getting a receptionist job. In truth, with tips she’d made more slinging coffee than she made answering phones. But she’d gotten tired of the clientele. One guy who’d really irritated her was, ironically, not some dude who drove an oversized pickup truck blasting Blake Shelton and Jelly Roll but rather a respectable lawyer in a Tesla who was fond of single-breasted suits and two-hundred-dollar haircuts. He had an annoying habit of reaching out of his car window, pinching the side of her bikini bottoms and snapping them back.

After a week of putting up with his shenanigans, she went to HotSauceRUs.com and purchased a small bottle of Da Bomb Evolution hot sauce. If you are not familiar with Da Bomb Evolution hot sauce it only requires a few drops to be brutal. When Mr. Tesla unassumingly drove up to the window of Kitty Cat Cappuccino, reached out and predictably snapped her bikini bottoms, Bexley had turned and smiled at him as she handed him his triple iced mocha. Turns out, Mr. Tesla’s mocha was not as iced as he thought that day as it contained no less than fifteen drops of Da Bomb Evolution which, as you may have guessed dear reader, blew his mind. He crashed his car into a stop sign, and after a 911 call made by a volunteer at a local women’s shelter, the drink landed him in the emergency room.

After tipping the barista a proper twenty percent, Bexley drove back onto the freeway and headed for the Dupree Tax Agency. At precisely seven fifty-five AM, she parked her lime green Fiat in the back parking lot of the Dupree Tax Agency, hopped out of her car, and headed to the front door with her keys.

“I’m back, she said tromping I in her black Birkenstocks she’d worn on the plane and her black summer cashmere t-shirt and charcoal colored Lucky Brand jeans with the Treasure and Bond black leather belt with the large gold tone oval buckle. She was greeted with the unexpected sound of silence. As she looked around she found the office to be vacant. She stepped up and set her drink from Kitty Cat Cappucino on the receptionist desk and wandered into the break room. Everything looked organized and in its place. She headed back out into the office area but still no one was at their desk. “Hello? Is anyone here? Hello?”

Suddenly, the door to Mr. Dupree’s office opened and Bexley heard whimpering. There was a light scuffling sound and then Mr. Dupree stepped outside his office and started descending the stairs. When he saw Bexley he said, “Looks like you’re back from vacation. And you got a little sun, I see.”

Bexley looked past him and saw Fia descending the stairs. In her arms she held a tiny Yorkshire Terrier puppy. The dog appeared to be a runt and had a bright red bow tied in its hair between its ears. “Is that yours, Fia?”

Fia looked at Bexley and her eyes widened. “It’s a gift,” she said.

“For whom?”

“I’m glad you’re back, Bexley,” Mr. Dupree said.

“Thank you, Dallas.” Bexley looked around at the empty office. “So…what did I miss?”

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE DIG (2021)-NETFLIX**

This Netflix original is a wonderful period piece about a widowed woman and her young son on the eve of WWII. It is well-directed by Simon Stone with a screenplay by Moira Buffini based on the novel of the same name by John Preston.

Edith Pretty (Carrie Mulligan) lives on a large estate in Sutton Hoo she and her deceased husband purchased that may be a site for an archeological excavation due to the large burial mounds on the property. Edith hires excavator and self-taught archeologist Basil Brown (Ralph Fiennes) to see what he can dig up there. Basil is hesitant at first because Edith is not able to pay him a large enough wage to cover his costs, but through the persistence of Edith’s young son Robert Pretty (Archie Barnes) and Edith’s offer to pay him a larger sum, he decides to give it a try.

After digging for a while Basil finds iron rivets which he believes may be from a ship that could date back to the Anglo Saxons and not the Vikings. Edith has the museum experts come in and they doubt Robert’s findings as such ships would be very old. Edith insists Basil continue leading the excavation and her cousin Rory Lomax (Johnny Flynn) is brought in to assist Basil. News of the dig reaches Cambridge archaeologist Charles Philips (Ken Stott) who declares the dig to be of national importance after Basil and Rory believe they have found a ship. Philips calls in the Office of Works to take over and brings in a larger team including newlyweds Stuart Ernest Piggott (Ben Chaplin) and Peggy Piggott (Lily James).

Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Forty-Seven

October 24, 2024 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter forty-seven of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. This week was calmer than last. I am looking forward to Halloween. I love to bark at the little munchkins who come to my door asking for treats. Being a Canis lupus familiaris I am aware of the importance of treats. And I sympathize profoundly with those who must dress in absurd clothing and go door to door asking for them. As a poodle I am frequently asked to do tricks for my treats. I find this most vulgar. I either must turn around in a circle or sit up or lie down or shake my novelist’s hand. Dreadful humiliation all of it. I should make my novelist do these inane acts for the treats I give her like keeping her on schedule, complimenting her on her writing, and telling her how to drive. She should demonstrate appreciation for my input. I have no idea where she would be without my suggestions. I will say she does not force me to dress as a hotdog or a ballerina for the upcoming holiday. She knows better than that. Although I am occasionally required to wear a Darth Vader hoodie when we go walking in colder weather. And with that thought, here is chapter forty-seven of Certified Sadistic Accountant. Oidhche Shamhna Shona Dhuit!

Certified Sadistic Accountant

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Forty-Seven

Lance rang the doorbell. “Cook? Cook? Hey, Cook?”

“We know you’re in there,” Irwin said.

“Why do people say, “I know you’re in there”? Like the person who’s in there doesn’t know the person who’s out there knows they’re in there.”

“Just try and open the door and see if he left it unlocked,” Grady said.

“What if its boobie trapped?” Irwin said.

“I’m not going to tell you to shut up again, Irwin,” Lance said. “Next time I’m just going to put my foot in your ass.”

Grady marched between the two men, opened the screen door and grabbed the doorknob. He turned it and it opened. “Told you.”

“It’s a trap,” Makenna said.

“Yeah, well, we’re going in.” Grady pushed the door open, and Lance and Irwin headed inside. Grady turned and looked at Makenna. Makenna looked at him then at the door. “Get in here.”

Makenna crossed her arms and eyeballed him. Then she followed him inside.

“This place has weird furniture,” Lance said walking over and sprawling on the lips couch. “Not as comfortable as I would have guessed.”

“Cook,” Grady yelled. “We know what you did. Come out here and let’s talk. We saw you drive here. We know you’re trying to make it look like we kidnapped Dupree’s daughter.” The four accountants waited for an answer but all they got was silence.

“He’s hiding,” Lance said.

Makenna stepped up to him. “Let’s get out of here.”

“No.”

“You’re a fool.” Makenna turned and headed for the door.

Lance rushed over and blocked her. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Did you hear that?” Irwin said.

“I didn’t hear anything—”

“Shh. Everyone shut up and listen.”

“It’s coming from upstairs.”

All the accountants except Makenna headed for the staircase.

“It’s a trap,” she said.

“Cook!” Lance yelled.

Makenna sided up to Grady. “You’re a smart guy. Let’s leave.”

“We’re all going up there, Makenna,” he said.

“Don’t do this.”

“Get going.”

Makenna narrowed her eyes and filed behind Grady. The four accountants headed up the steps. When they reached the second floor, they realized it was dark.

“This place creeps me out,” Irwin said.

“Cook!” Lance yelled down the hallway. But there was no answer. He cocked his head. “Did the music just stop?”

Everyone stopped and listened.

“No, no. I hear it again. Where is that coming from?”

“I think its one floor up,” Grady said. “Let’s go.” The motley crew headed up the stairs to the third floor which was even darker than the last. “There’s got to be a wall switch here somewhere.”

The accountants felt along the walls. “Here it is,” Lance said and flipped the switch. But the lights didn’t go on. “Great. Cook killed the electricity.

“Come on, Cook,” Grady yelled. “We just want to talk to you, man.”

“The music’s getting louder.”

“Maybe it’s because we’re closer to it,” Irwin said.

“I think it’s coming from over there,” Lance said pointing towards the attic door.

“Let’s head towards it and see what’s going on,” Grady said. The accountants headed in the direction of the attic. “This is it alright.” He reached out and felt around the surface of the door and found the knob. He turned it and pushed it open. The inside was as dark as the hallway except for the center of the room. It was lit up like a stage.

“Cook!” Lance called out.

The music stopped. After a beat a moody saxophone jazz started up. The accountants crept towards the lighted middle of the room. Standing there was a mannequin with long feathery red hair wearing a 70’s era disco gown. The gown had crystal beads on it that sparkled in the light.

“Weird,” Lance said.

Soap bubbles started to rise from the back of the figure.

“Weirder,” Irving said.

“Cook,” Grady called out. “Stop with the freakishness and come out here. We want to talk about Fia’s kidnapping and get to the bottom of this whole mess.”

“Look!”

Grady and Lance turned to look at what Irving was pointing to. A large bear had suddenly flopped over the mannequin. It waved its hand at them.

“Cook!” Grady yelled and walked around to the other side, but he found no one.

“Makenna’s right,” Lance said. Let’s just leave. Makenna? Makenna? Where’s Makenna?”

The three of them looked at each other and then around the space. Then they rushed towards the door.

“It’s locked,” Grady said attempting to turn the knob. “Makenna!”

Just then the three of them heard a motor revving up.”

“She’s stealing my minivan!” Grady said.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: MARATHON MAN (1976)-SHOWTIME, PARAMOUNT+**

Is it safe? A question that will ring in your ears for days after watching this taunt, tense thriller that keeps its audience on the edge of its seat all the way until its final scene. This is not a traditional Halloween movie, as most Halloween movies these days seem to be squarely in the horror genre. But it is a fantastic study in suspense and a unique kind of cold-blooded terror. The picture is directed by John Schlesinger and written by William Golden based on his book of the same name.

Thomas “Babe” Levy (Dustin Hoffman) is a graduate student at Columbia University working on his post graduate history thesis. He is trying to help clear his father’s name. His father’s career was ruined by scandal involving the McCarthy hearings which caused Babe’s father to commit suicide. Babe is also an aspiring marathon runner who idolizes Jesse Owens and runs every day trying to beat his time. One day while studying at the library he meets another student Elsa Opal (Marthe Keller) who he believes is Swiss and falls in love with her.

Meanwhile in Paris, a CIA agent named Henry “Doc” Levy (Roy Scheider) realizes he and his fellow agents have become targets for an assassin. Doc is one of those guys with a particular set of skills. He confides in his friend, fellow agent Janeway (William Devane) about his concerns, especially after an assassin breaks into his hotel room.

And elsewhere, down in Paraguay a former Nazi and dentist named Dr. Christian Szell (Lawrence Olivier) also known as the “White Angel of Auschwitz” finds he must come out of hiding to protect his fortune after his brother is killed in a car accident in NYC.

How these three stories fit together is the premise for a genuinely disturbing story produced by The Kid Stays in the Picture himself, Robert Evans.