Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce Chapter Thirty-Six of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. This week my novelist has done a lot of cleaning which I find a rather dull affair. I do like a clean home, but it is such a bother to scrub this and sweep that. I can think of much more entertaining ways to spend my time. I do think there are those out there who find cleaning cathartic. My novelist, however, does not. She does it begrudgingly. She does it because she must. She does not find one scrap of joy in it. It is out of necessity and nothing more. I find it utterly exhausting watching her dust this and straighten that. And don’t get me started on vacuuming. That’s just mortifying. Absolute terror if you want to know the truth. But since her cleaning spree things are a little neater. A little better. Still, I would rather write and let the dust settle where it may. And with that thought here is Chapter Thirty-Six of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. Attention à la poussière.

Certified Sadistic Accountant

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Thirty-Six

Let’s back up.

Fia ran down the hall, swung right and plowed down the stairs. She rushed past the kitchen into the living room, her heart racing so fast she could hardly see. She tripped, caught her balance and burst out the front door. She turned left and headed around the house towards the lake. She was certain as soon as Curtis found a way to get loose, he would assume she ran for the road. As she turned right and followed the shoreline, she considered calling out for help. But the last thing she needed was to draw Curtis’s attention and end up back in the attic.

She slowed and moved stealthily along the bank, grateful for freedom. Fresh clean air raced in and out of her lungs. She was glad she had worn low-healed lace up boots to the office the day Curtis abducted her. Tennis shoes would have been better, but the boots worked fine. She glanced out at the water. The sun glittered on it like diamonds. Although it was sunny, it was still cold. It was April after all. She wished she’d grabbed a warmer coat like that old fur Curtis’s aunt had hanging in the armoire. At least she’d put on a medium weight jacket, and it didn’t look as though it was going to rain.

Her ears perked for the sound of someone coming up behind her. She turned around every so often just to make sure no one was on her trail. She could see it was getting closer to sunset. Her hope was to make it out on the main drag by dark and arrive at the mall before it closed. She’d head into one of the stores and borrow the phone to call her parents. Then she could be home that night and sleep in her own full-sized bed. It wasn’t a perfect bed. It needed a new mattress and a new bedding set. But as far as she was concerned, it was the best bed in the world. Somewhere along here there must be a trail to take to get to the main road. Otherwise, she’d end up circling the lake.

“Hey!” someone shouted from their deck startling her. “This is private property!”

Fia ignored them and kept moving. She hurried past two more houses. Then she saw a road leading out. She turned and headed up it and arrived at the shoulder of the main road. She stayed as far to the side as she could, hoping to be camouflaged by the foliage. She worried about how winding the path was, but she had no choice. A pickup truck sped past her. A Labrador mix in the flatbed barked at her as it went by. For a moment Fia thought of Curtis’s little Yorkshire Terrier. If only those idiot accountants hadn’t broken into his house and the dog hadn’t gotten killed, she wouldn’t be doing this right now.

The seemingly endless stretch of asphalt was going to be a lot longer going back than it had been going in. Though it was chilly, walking kept her warm. She slogged along knowing daylight was fading and darkness was not far away. Traffic was light but she was still concerned about being hit by a vehicle. Every so often she checked behind her to see if Curtis was hot on her trail. But she didn’t see anyone. She swore she would never trust people again. She’d met questionable guys in college, but Curtis took the cake.

Fia finally made it to the intersection leading into town. Darkness had fallen and although the sky had been clear earlier, it had started to rain. But she was free and that was what mattered. She plodded along towards the crosswalk and waited for the signal. She turned left en route to the mall. The walk had been much longer than she had anticipated. But she’d made it. She wasn’t wearing a watch, and her phone was long gone. She figured it was late enough that the mall was likely closed by now.

When she reached the mall, she found the parking lot desolate. She walked over to the doors where she and Curtis had entered to go to the sports store. She pulled on the handle and hung her head when she realized they were locked. She looked around to see if there was a security guard in the nearby vicinity. But she saw no one. She started to move around the perimeter of the building trying to stay sheltered from the pelting raindrops.

When she reached the opposite side, exhaustion flooded in, and she knew she would have to either find a way to contact her family soon or seek shelter until she regained energy. Regaining energy sounded like the right option. She huddled in the back of the main entrance that led into the small food court, sank down, wrapped her arms around her knees and stared out at the road. She would stay here a short while, stave off sleep, and then continue her voyage home.  

Fia woke with a jolt. It was still night, but it felt like it might be close to daybreak. She rose to her feet by pressing her back against the glass doors for balance until she was standing. The rain had stopped but it had grown colder. She shivered and hugged her arms around herself as she walked back around to the other side of the building. When she arrived at the corner, she lurked in the shadows and surveyed the parking lot still concerned that Curtis was looming around waiting for her. But as she scanned the open space from left to right no one was there. She proceeded towards the parking lot’s main entrance en route to the main drag. Everything felt cool and dark and still. The nap had done her good and she felt more rested. But it was still a long way home.

As she started over the bridge she looked down over the side and spotted two white trumpeter swans. She remembered reading somewhere that swans mated for life. As she continued, she started to think about stopping somewhere again. Home was still far away, and she would need to stop again for shelter soon. She recalled there was a church a little way up the steep hill that led downtown. She’d turn there and see if anyone was inside. Maybe even this late someone was around. Maybe they’d have a blanket. She decided it was a good thing she’d slept for a while at the mall. If Curtis had tried to find her, her trail would have gone cold there. She was confident he was not presently pursuing her. It was frustrating she was too far away from a police station, and she couldn’t remember where the closest fire station was from here. It had moved to a different location a year or two ago and she wasn’t sure where that was.

By the time she arrived at the church, Fia’s feet were aching. Wearily, she raised her hand and knocked on the door.

“Please,” she muttered, her eyelids heavy, closing intermittently.

She listened for footsteps. None came. She knocked harder this time and waited. Nothing. She pounded one more time, louder and longer. Nothing. Fia sank down to the cement and pebble steps and curled up in the entryway.

A short time later, a hand reached out and touched her shoulder. “What are you doing here?” the owner of the hand said.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: COLUMBO (1971)-AMAZON PRIME

This summer I was looking for a show that I could stream that would be fun, smart and enjoyable to watch. I rediscovered the iconic classic Columbo. This show slaps. From the stylish 70’s living rooms to the wild wardrobes to the luxury cars of the time to the whip smart scripts to the unbelievably talented guest stars this show is a pure blast.

Set in Los Angeles, California and usually involving ridiculously wealthy upper-class villains, the stories often revolve around a greedy whip smart classy scumbag who decides to off someone for profit. These upper-crust rogues plan out their crime well. They don’t rush. They are not emotional. They know exactly what they want, and they have a sophisticated way they are going to get it. As the audience, we know the identity of the culprit early on and are often given clues to how to figure out how they will get caught along the way. Thus the show is what is known as an inverted detective story.

After committing the crime, in walks consummate INTP personality type Lieutenant Frank Columbo (marvelously and iconically played by Peter Falk). Columbo’s first name Frank is never mentioned in the show. It is only shown on his badge. He shows up in a beaten-up light-colored Peugeot wearing a rumpled trench coat (which Peter Falk himself once picked up for $15.00) and a modest suit and tie. He is humble, polite, curious, and very, very persistent. And, like all of us introverted intuitive thinkers, he works alone. The villain often finds him annoying, lowbrow, and pesky. Far too insignificant for the likes of them. But slowly, methodically, and merrily, Columbo puts the puzzle pieces into place all while thoughtfully smoking a green cigar.

Most crime shows today would be gritty, bloody and hard. Not here. This show lives in a world with a sense of humor, intelligence, class, and wit. If you are a fan of Only Murders in the Building or perhaps any number of British detective shows, this one might be right up your ally. Or if you’re just looking for something smart and breezy to binge and you’ve never watched it, give this classic landmark television show a try.