Shower Curtains

June 12, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce my blog. Today the shower curtain rod came down. This was a most distressing event. My novelist had to hold up the rod whilst I hurried over to the computer to watch a video on how to put it back up. It is one of those curved types that is held up by tension. This is the video I watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K03RkODZ42M

And so, this kind man showed us how to take the horrifying tangle of curtains, rod and rings off the bathroom floor and put it back up. Now, we figured out ourselves to remove the curtain and the rings first so hurrah for us (not to mention it is not part of the video). Anyway, I sat and studied his how to lesson intently. Of course, as all wise poodles do, I put on my blue light blocking glasses first as eye safety is paramount. Then I took notes which are never easy to do as one must understand I have paws and no opposable thumbs. I could hear my novelist shouting from the bathroom the blood was running out of her arms so I had bark back that it would take as long as it takes and then proceed to take notes with my paw.

When I finished writing, I hopped out of the office chair, retrieved a measuring tape, and trotted into the bathroom. I took the measuring tape and measured the distance from ceiling to rod to make certain the rod was even on both sides, also a challenge with paws. I then barked the instructions up to my novelist reading them off from my notes. She first had to put one arm down and then the other to allow them to recover and then she set the curtain against both walls and twisted the bar for tension. It was a challenge to get the ornamental ends snapped into place. The one went in without a struggle but the second required my novelist to get out her trusty step stool and angle herself correctly to pop it in firmly. We now have a working shower curtain and both of us learned a lesson in home improvement. I am certain Tim Taylor would be proud. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: BAD INFLUENCE: THE DARK SIDE OF KIDFLUENCING (2025)-NETFLIX**

Female psychopaths are exceedingly rare. Only 1 in 1050 women is a psychopath as opposed to 1 in 150 men. But they still exist and here is your chance to see one in the wild. Not to mention she’s a pedophile to boot. I don’t know about you, but I am not an influencer watcher. I don’t get it. I don’t need someone to tell me what dimwit products to buy with their stupid amateur videos. There are enough professionally made commercials out there hocking uninteresting junk that pimp it better with professional actors, directors and writers. But apparently this seedy low-rent schlock is hot. Especially to grown men who make up 92% of the audience for these kids shows. Picture that lurid debauchery if you will. You’d think this low-rent YouTube content would play to other kids but no. It plays to mentally deranged scum.

Tiffany Rockelle is a reptile who happened to give birth to a human daughter. Unfortunately, the daughter was pretty and talented and so like every garden variety psychopath this female lizard saw dollar signs in her third eye. She started putting Baby Jane Piper into pageants when the girl was three years old. And if that isn’t enough to make you shudder, when Piper turned eight, Tiffany shed her scaly skin, tossed her sweet little cash cow in her car and headed out on the road for Hollywood. Once there, Foxy Loxy started building her own little cult, luring children and their mothers into her cave to devour them. And devoured them she did. She picked up some barely legal sucker to be her boyfriend/director to film videos of the pre-teens hanging out with each other and having a good time calling them “the squad” because “the fresh meat” wasn’t catchy enough. Slowly, she got the mothers to give up their expensive apartments and “save money” by moving the kids into a house where she used the mothers as her minions while she had her boytoy film the kids 24-7. That is not an exaggeration. A typical practice of any psychopath: isolate your victims.

After awhile old Tiffany started doing what she had intended to from day one which is turn the films into her own *ahem* “personal fantasy videos”. And after that her actions became a long list of revolting illegal and immoral acts which you must see to believe. If you happen to read this post and you have any association whatsoever with this Ophiophagus hannah, get out now.

Gigi’s Birthday

June 5, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to tell you last Friday was my birthday. In the past when Tucker was alive, we would break out the Aquadent and have quite the bash. This year, however, I decided to celebrate with decorum. Bernard D. Bunny, Belle D. Bunny and their new little cousin Brendan D. Bunny joined me for high tea this week where we dined on scones, pastries and of course cucumber sandwiches. They were scrumptious. I was licking my paws afterwards. Every year I dream of receiving a diamond studded collar which I most deserve. My novelist, however, presented me with a brand-new Mini Skinneeez leopard instead. Although I adored the dog toy, my dreams of elegance were once again dashed. Sometimes novelists simply don’t understand their poodles. We poodles think big and desire great things. Next year I plan to own a small country and rule it with a benevolent iron paw. Perhaps I’ll even invest in a tiara. If I can’t wear something sparkly around my neck at least I can wear something glittering on my head. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

STREAM OF THE WEEK: HOBSON’S CHOICE (1954) HBO MAX

Every so often I like to pick a brilliant classic film every cinephile should be required to see. And so, this week I am featuring a small masterpiece by the great director David Lean who also cowrote this magnificent script with Harold Brighouse and Norman Spencer. One might consider it an early feminist film of sorts about an overbearing, sexist father and his much wilier future thinking daughter.

The story takes place in 1880s Salford, England where Henry Hobson (Sir Charles Laughton), a blowhard tyrannical widower, runs a moderately upscale shoe-making shop. He has three daughters and no sons. He endlessly needles his thirty-year-old eldest Maggie (Brenda de Banzie) who runs the financial part of the business, about being thirty and will always remain an old maid. He has selfishly decided that since his wife has died, Maggie will forever take her mother’s place as in his mind she is too useful to lose. His younger daughters Alice (Daphne Anderson) and Vicky (Prunella Scales) each have boyfriends. Alice is seeing Albert Prosser (Richard Wattis), a young solicitor and Vicky is seeing Freddy Beenstock (Derek Blomfield) a corn merchant’s son. Both sisters want to marry their beaus but Henry, upon finding out he will have to pay a settlement for each marriage, refuses and decides they will remain in his shop as well.

One day, a wealthy older woman named Mrs. Hepworth (Helen Haye) comes in the shop and demands to know who crafted her boots. Up from under the floor comes shoemaker Jim Healer (Joseph Tomelty) who looks at her boots and says they were made by William Mossop (Sir John Mills), a gentle ignorant soul but also a highly gifted shoemaker. Mrs. Hepworth demands seeing Willam and when he comes up from below, she tells him she has been to every shoe shop around and he has made her the best pair of boots she’s ever worn. She then gives him a small sum of money as a thank you.

Shortly after, Maggie, who’s fed up with her father, his drinking, and his insults, calls William up at the end of the day when they are the only two still in the shop. She tells him he is a phenomenal shoemaker and deserves a better career. She says she plans to marry him, poach him, leave her father’s shop, and start a shop of their own.

From Meriam Webster Dictionary:

Hobson’s choice : noun
Hob·son’s choice ˈhäb-sənz-
1 : an apparently free choice when there is no real alternative
2 : the necessity of accepting one of two or more equally objectionable alternatives

From Cambridge Dictionary: Meaning of Hobson’s choice in English

Hobson’s choice
noun [ U ]
uk /ˌhɒb.sənz ˈtʃɔɪs/ us /ˌhɑːb.sənz ˈtʃɔɪs/
a situation in which it seems that you can choose between different things or actions, but there is really only one thing that you can take or do:
a case of Hobson’s choice: It’s a case of Hobson’s choice, because if I don’t agree to their terms, I’ll lose my job.

Washed and Blow-Dried

May 22, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here and I must tell you of the unstoppable, inevitable horror that happened to me yesterday. In the morning whilst I was peacefully lounging on my office pillow, ready to begin my illustrious activities, my novelist snatched me up, stuck me in the car, and rushed me off to get groomed. I thought my meltdown would have negated that event. But alas, it happened and happened it did. They put me in a tub and washed, shaved, and clipped me. My nails buffed. My teeth brushed. I came out looking gorgeous, but it was a nightmare to get that way. Whilst I was there, I also got myself into trouble. I am squirmy when I get groomed, and I accidentally got a boo-boo on one of my legs. Going forwards the groomers now require me to get my hair done with clippers with a comb because I just cannot sit still. My novelist wholeheartedly agreed with this decision. That said, here I am with my Lady and the Tramp ears and magnificent makeover:

Am I not the most gorgeous specimen of Canis lupus familiaris you have ever set your eyes upon? You know I am. For now, I will leave you with this photographic masterpiece. Until next week I bid you adieu.

Also, an update on the College Board Test:

The College Board has set up a retake test scheduled for the end of this month for the students who lost 20 minutes/10% of their test time. I am delighted to hear this. I hope they all do well. And thank you to the College Board for rectifying this situation.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE ORDER (2024)-HULU**

There is something marvelous about a movie based on a true story told well. And this week’s film fits the bill. The story is based on Bob Mathews, a young man who lived in a small town in the Pacific Northwest called Metaline, Washington who decided to break off from the Ayrian Nation and start his own group called The Order. He was more radical than the older Aryian Nation members and he and his group started blowing up porn stores, robbing banks, and other criminal activities to fund a major national attack over the course of one terrifying year from 1983-1984. They were also responsible for the murder of Denver, Colorado radio host Alan Harrison Berg, for which the Pulitzer Prize nominated play Talk Radio by Eric Bogosian was loosely based. The play was made into a film with the same name and directed by Oliver Stone.

Justin Kurzelseamlessly directs The Order and Zach Baylin, Kevin Flynn, and Gary Gerhardt wrote the screenplay. The movie is based on the book The Silent Brotherhood: The Chilling Inside Story of America’s Violent, Anti-Government Militia Movement by Kevin Flynn and Gary Gerhardt.

Grizzled and seasoned FBI agent Terry Husk (well-acted by Jude Law) settles into a vacant field office in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. He hopes to encourage his wife and two daughters to move there with him, but he knows his chances are bleak. He begins looking through a case involving the Aryan Nation and its founder in Hayden Lake, Idaho, Richard Butler (Victor Slezak). While engaged in the case, he heads over to the local sheriff’s station where he meets Deputy Jamie Bowen (Tye Sheridan). Bowden is suspicious there is more nefarious activity going on than meets the eye. He tells Husk a young man named Walter West (Daniel Doheny) has gone missing and he suspects foul play at the hands of the Aryan Nation.

In the meantime, Bob Mathews (Nicholas Hoult in an excellent performance) and his followers Pierce (Sebastian Pigott), Yarbrough (George Tchortov), and Lane (Phillip Forest Lewitski) rob a bank in Spokane, Washington. This act is part of the beginning of Mathews ultimate plan, to follow the doctrine of a novel called The Turner Diaries. As the robberies continue, Husk and Bowen race against time to figure out Mathew’s ultimate plan and stop him before he unleashes his ever-strengthening army on the United States government.

Convenience Store

May 8, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good morning. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to tell you about my exciting week. First, the trauma: on Friday I was given a bath. As many of you know baths are not my favorite pastime. However, I have done well overcoming my recent phobias and I was able to get through the whole ordeal without a yelp. Second, the reward: I got to travel to my novelist’s relative’s home. That is always a delight. I love the view of the convenience store across the street. I can lie on the couch and watch the comings and goings of customers. From what I understand, someone once drove right into the front and destroyed the entrance and window. I am always on the lookout for a fun romp, and I patiently waited for disaster to strike again. Alas, I was disappointed. No grand event happened. The only entertainment I partook of was watching strangers coming and going getting coffee, slushy drinks and junk food. The couch, however, was most comfortable and I rather enjoyed my occasional snacks throughout the day as I observed the outside world. All in all, it was a wonderful change of pace from the usual weekend at home. Even if I did not get to see a major convenience store disaster. Until next week, I bid you adieu.

MY BOOKS

STREAM OF THE WEEK: BANK OF DAVE (2023)-NETFLIX

This week’s pick is a lighthearted thoughtful film based on the true-life experiences of Dave Fishwick, a self-made millionaire from Burnly England. After several years of loaning money to people in his community Dave decided to open a community bank despite the bureaucratic monopoly of HSBC, Barclays, Lloyds Banking Group, and NatWest.

Dave (Rory Kinnear), a likable chap who has a successful business selling vans and mini busses, is fed up with the way the British banks treat the average everyday customer. And so, after being successful loaning out money to people in his hometown, he decides to open his own community bank. He contacts a law firm in London where a couple of lawyers, Clarence (Angus Wright) and Hugh (Joel Fry) are assigned to the case. Clarence sends Hugh to Burnly to handle the work. Hugh, who is very much a city mouse, gets mildly injured on his first day there and meets emergency doctor Alexandra (Phoebe Dynevor) and quickly becomes smitten with her. Alexandra explains to him how the town is in desperate need of a walk-in clinic. Hugh soon finds out Alexandra is Dave’s niece.

Hugh also discovers Dave has a perchance for Karaoke and likes to sing rock songs at the local pub. Hugh visits the pub and gets to meet the locals and understand more about their situation. Though he is not fond of small-town life, Hugh takes a liking to Dave and his cause. Although it has been decades since a new bank has been allowed to form in England, Hugh studies the case diligently and begins to build a case for Dave, which he thinks will outsmart the big banks at their own game.

Up to my Underbelly in Snow

February 6, 2025 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle and I am up to my underbelly in snow. It seems I have woken up most mornings this week to a blanket of white which melts away in the afternoon. I am not sure about today, however. It is the deepest it has gotten this winter. My novelist has a firm rule about not going for walks in the snow. I do romp in it a little. But I prefer to stay out of it as much as possible. Bernard D. Bunny sent me a text this morning. He said that he and his sister Belle are in their burrow right now keeping out of the weather and binge watching The Cuphead Show on Netflix. This is a visual experience I have never engaged in. Nor do I wish to. Although, as my novelist often tells me, you can’t judge a show you have not screened. Still, I must say I prefer more cerebral fare, such as Citizen Kane, The Seventh Seal, and Zombieland. But there it is. I partook of a few classic episodes of Fraiser yesterday during the afternoon and they perked me right up. I do not know how long I will stay housebound until I become stir-crazy. I will try to resort to my writing and perhaps read a chapter or two of Mrs. Frisby and The Rats of Nimh by Robert C. O’Brien.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: BAD MONKEY (2024) -APPLE TV+**

If you like wise cracking black comedy detective stories, this one is for you. It is based on the 2013 book by Carl Hiaasan of the same name. Starting in the Florida Keys we meet Andrew Yancy (Vince Vaughn), a Hawaiian shirt wearing Laissez-faire detective who lives on the beach. Yancy despises his real estate developer neighbor Evan Shook (Alex Moffat) who has built a garish mansion next to his humble house. And it doesn’t help that Yancy has just been demoted to the position of restaurant inspector after an incident involving dumping an elderly man out of his wheelchair into the water to help his free spirit on again, off again girlfriend Bonnie Witt (Michelle Lynn Monaghan).

One day Yancy gets a tip about a tourist finding a severed arm and decides to, against his better judgement, begin investigating. He discovers the missing arm belonged to a man named Nick Stripling (Rob Delaney). Yancy tracks down Christopher’s wife Eve Stripling (Meredith Hagner) whom he suspects had a hand in her husband’s death. Especially after he talks to Christopher’s daughter Caitlin (Charlotte Lawrence) who can’t stand her. Or the fact that Eve is getting to cash out a large insurance policy. Yancy soon meets Dr. Rosa Campasino (Natalie Martinez) who examines the arm and believes it was not bitten off by a shark but by a professional.

Meanwhile in the Bahamas, local’s land is getting bought up by developers which upsets a young fisherman named Neville Stafford (Ronald Peet) who has a pet capuchin monkey named Driggs (Crystal the Monkey). To stop the developers taking over the island he enlists the help of the Dragon Queen (Jodie Turner-Smith) to put a spell on the project much to the concern of the Dragon Queen’s grandmother Ya-Ya (L. Scott Caldwell).

Happy Boxing Day

December 27, 2024 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. Gigi the parti poodle here to wish you a joyful Boxing Day. The day after Christmas is always a challenging one. It is the day one wakes up and realizes Halloween is over, Thanksgiving is over, and Christmas is over. What lies ahead is New Years, Valentine’s Day and Easter. But the magic of the holiday season is quickly ending and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Not to mention I received a fluffy chewing toy but not a diamond studded collar as requested. There must be a way to get Santa to put one on his sleigh next year.

Today is also the day my novelist purchases Christmas wrapping paper for next year. She detests purchasing anything at full price. As she says, everything is prettier when it’s on sale. And so, she takes her annual voyage to The Container Store and procures paper there and goes online and procures other holiday wrapping items from Hallmark as well. Then she goes about putting them all away until next year.

I have become a bit shaggy and will need a trim soon. This, of course, is most distressing. My novelist will probably call tomorrow to get me an appointment. Dreadful. And with that thought here is my novelist’s stream of the week. Bonne fête d’Après-Noël!

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: JUST FRIENDS (2005)-HULU**

This week’s movie is not a deep and profound story. It will not change your life or make you into the person you’ve always wanted to be. But it is a holiday movie that’s a lot of fun and the story strangely holds up over time, especially having been made nineteen years ago. And since you are probably drained out and exhausted after the Christmas rush, it’s something to kick back and enjoy. The only characters in the film I don’t understand are the lead character’s two best friends. I believe you could tell the story without them. But that said there are plenty of characters to love. And unlike most romantic comedies the lead is a male instead of a female (like in The Forty-Year-Old Virgin)which gives it a fun twist

The story is simple. A tenderhearted and likeable overweight teen named Chris Brander (gleefully played by Ryan Reynolds) wants to be more than friends with his best friend the lovely Jamie Palomino (Amy Smart). One night at a party during their Senior year of high school Chris sets out to do just that and writes a well-penned letter expressing his feelings. Said letter, however, falls into the hands of the high school bully, Tim (Ty Olsson) who reads it to the party goers. Utterly embarrassed, Chris vows to make a name for himself and leave this town of losers behind.

Chris makes good on his promise and becomes a successful music producer as well as a ladies’ man. When his boss KC (Stephen Root) tells him he needs to babysit his pop music sensation the mentally unstable Samantha James (Anna Faris) who happens to be one of Chris’s ex-girlfriends and fly with her to Paris, Chris reluctantly agrees. But when their plane ends up in New Jersey near his hometown, Chris takes a chance at finally trying to ask Jamie out on a date while asking his younger brother Mike (Christopher Rodriguez Marquette) to babysit Samantha whom Mike has an obsessive crush on. But Chris finds his plan is not as easy as he realized when he realizes he has a rival in his fellow ex-nerd classmate sensitive guitar playing EMT Dusty Dinkleman (Chris Klein). Julie Haggarty rounds out the cast as Chris and Mike’s mother.

What do you buy a Bunny for Christmas?

December 12, 2024 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. Gigi the parti poodle here once again wishing you a happy holiday season. This week we have gotten a lot of rain although my novelist and I have managed to go for a walk here and there during the breaks. I often find myself sitting by the window in my novelist’s office curled up and cozy on my pillow watching the raindrops spatter on the window as my novelist works on her new book.

We still have not put up and trimmed our Christmas tree and the clock is ticking. I adore Christmas trees. They often have gifts under them addressed to me. I also have my own stocking. It is green and red and knit out of yarn and says Dogs Like Presents Too. Well, of course we do. I am still holding out for a diamond studded collar this year. I will probably get a lovely chew toy, but that does not stop me from dropping hints here and there. Like my paw print doodles that happen to look like diamonds. Or whining when a jewelry ad happens to pop up on the computer screen. Or opening my novelist’s jewelry box and bringing her one of her pieces. I am a master of subtle persuasion. Although I do face a serious reprimand for opening her jewelry box and bringing her one of her pieces. Diamonds are a poodle’s best friend after all.

I am also busy trying to pick out the perfect gifts for Bernard D. Bunny and his little sister Belle. What should one give a rabbit for Christmas? I was considering a gift card from the pet store. But I would have to lend Bernard my computer to put in an order online because although it is a marvelous store the bus ride would be tricky for him to take, and the checkout counter is rather tall. He can jump quite high but not that high. I may be able to hop up and down, catch air, and throw the card at the counter but then again, I would have to take the bus over there and that is a monumental feat. Oh, I suppose I could let the rabbit use my computer. But it is my computer after all. I guess if I didn’t leave him unsupervised it could work. I will order a stuffed bunny, make it two stuffed bunnies, and get the gift cards and put them in the bunnies’s paws. Mission accomplished. And with that, here is my novelist’s Stream of the Week. Joyeux Noël!

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: VICE PRINCIPALS (2016)-HBO**

As we move closer to Christmas, I thought I would list some great binging opportunities starting with this one. Danny McBride is television gold. His shows are edgy, funny and downright fantastic. And if you’ve never seen this one, you really should. It’s a real headscratcher for me why comedies like this don’t get nominated for Emmys. Apparently, you can’t be funny if you want to get nominated. And no, I’m not talking about The Bear. That show is good.

Many times, I’ll sit down to watch a comedy show that gets a lot of accolades and find it’s not even remotely humorous. These lukewarm bore fests either steal their format from a show that’s ten times better and come off as amateurs or they’re downright dull. But if it really makes you laugh like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or The Righteous Gemstones it gets completely ignored. The television industry needs to rethink this problem.

One important thing this show did right was it was completely written, every episode that is, before it was ever cast or shot. And that makes all the difference in the world. A show should always know how it’s going to end. And if it doesn’t, the writers are sloppy. This should be required before a show is ever given the green light. A TV bible is great and all but if you do not know how the entire story ends, that show should never get made. Ever. Even if you can’t have the entire show completely written, know how it ends. Then and only then do you know where it’s going. J.J. Abrams, as an example, never ends any of his projects well. He starts out his stories strongly, but he can’t stick the landing to save his life whether it be Lost or Star Wars.

But Danny McBride deserves a score of ten and the gold medal. He co-created Vice Principals with Jody Hill, and the plot of this dark comedy works like this: Principal Welles (Bill Murray) of North Jackson High School is retiring to take care of his wife. Under Principal Welles are two vice principals: Neil Gamby (Danny McBride) the school’s authoritarian vice principal and Lee Russell (Walton Goggins) the vice principal of curriculum. Both despise each other and are cocksure one of them will take Principal Welles’s place. That is until they find out the school district has hired Dr. Belinda Brown (Kimberly Hébert Gregory) to fill the vacancy instead. After preparing to backstab each other to get the job, Russell invites Gamby to the woods near the school to call a truce and form a pact to oust Brown from her job so one of them can get the title instead.

Both Gamby and Russell have complicated personal lives which intervene with their plan. Gamby is recently divorced from his wife Gale (Busy Philips) and is trying to stay involved in the life of his daughter Janelle (Maya G. Love). Neil struggles to come to terms with Gale’s likable new husband Ray (Shea Whigham) and Ray’s passion for motorcycles instead of horses. He also finds himself falling for English teacher Amanda Snodgrass (Georgia King). Russell, meanwhile, is married to Christine (Susan Park) but struggles with his mother in-law Mi-Cha (June Kyoto Lu) who gives him no end of aggravation. Rounding out the cast are Edi Patterson as Ms. Abbott and Sheaun McKinney as Dayshawn.

Gigi’s Holiday Shopping

December 6, 2024 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good evening. Gigi the parti poodle here to wish you Happy Holidays and discuss the Christmas shopping season. I have wanted to address my adoring fans by taking a trip to the mall and allowing them to fawn over my beauty and occasionally even shake paws with them. But my dreams have been dashed as…Him does not like malls. I do not understand why…Him prefers shopping online when there are fans out there for me to meet and greet. My novelist falls somewhere in between. She likes to do some holiday shopping online and some out at the stores which she did this season. So, I was briefly adored by fans who were constantly asking me for my pawprint for which I gladly took out my portable ink pad and provided them with.

But alas, my moments of adoration were brief and I long to bask in the spotlight. Not to mention how much I love being out and about. I relish looking at the decorations and the store windows and gazing at my spectacular reflection. I love hopping up in Santa’s lap and providing him with a more efficient way to deliver presents as an elf takes our photo for posterity. I love getting free treats at the boutique pet store and being told how adorable I am because I am adorable. Hopefully I will be able to get out more and receive the admiration I so vehemetly deserve this time of year. Until next week I hope you enjoy this most magical season.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: WOMAN OF THE HOUR (2024)-NETFLIX**

One of the best movies I’ve seen this year so far is this film directed by Anna Kendrick who also stars in the lead role. And she does a terrific job in both. When I prepared to write one of my novels which I have finished but not yet published, I had to do research on psychopaths. I read several books, watched a lot of documentaries, and studied many research papers. Some of the books were difficult to get my hands on at the time as they were out of print or hard to find. One of the more obscure ones was The Rapist File: Interviews with Convicted Rapists by Les Sussman, Sally Bordwell and Ellen Frankfort. It is an interesting collection of interviews done by Sussman and Bordwell who spoke with a variety of incarcerated rapists. They went into prisons and talked to these criminals, recorded the conversations and printed what they said. And what most of these men loved to do was plan their hunt, stalk their game, bag their kill, and perfect their skills.

I remember being at one of the zoos here in the Pacific Northwest and watching this leopard pace back and forth in its cage, its eyes never leaving the children standing outside. Open that cage and see what happens. The leopard’s not so alluring anymore, is it? When interviewers ask actors how they find humanity in a character like Rodney, I roll my eyes. The answer is simple: they are playing a predatory animal. A predatory animal has no humanity.

Half of repeat or recidivist rapists are psychopaths. 20-25% of prisoners are psychopaths. And approximately 15-25% of serial killers are psychopaths. They may look like a person, talk like a person, and appear to act like a person. But are they human? Do they even have emotions past anger and irritation?

The word “psychopath” essentially means “suffering soul”. Psychopaths are missing 21% grey matter in their prefrontal lobe and 5-10% grey matter in their paralimbic system. And psychopathy is genetic. In fact, a psychopath has a 50/50 chance of siring or giving birth to another psychopath. A psychopath has four to six of the following genetic alleles:

AKK1

DRD2

DRD4

MAOA

COMT

5-HTTLPR

These alleles cause them to have the following traits:

Heavy and/or pronounced Eyebrows

Heightened reactivity involving the forehead and eye socket muscles when criticized (an angry stare)

Wide faces

Disfluencies in speech (um, uh, etc.)

Doubled words in speech (the-the, he-he, she-she, etc.)

Abnormal White Matter Integrity

Use an excessive of subordinate conjunctions (because, so that, therefore, etc.)

Tend to whistle or make repetitive noise

Talk incessantly about sex, money and/or food

Dislike pets and may have killed one or more

Drink black coffee

Drink gin and tonics

Likes to eat bitter foods like radishes

Are nomadic

Enjoy listening to rap music such as “Lose Yourself”

Do not like music with changes in tempo like “My Sharona” and “Titanium”

Were a chronic bed wetter late into youth

Has Grandiose/Extreme Narcissism

May have been misdiagnosed with ADD

Have physical ticks

Appear charming

Quick to anger and irritation

Are a pathological liar

Are always an extroverted personality type and often test as an ENTP (mad scientist), ESTP (con artist) or ENTJ (evil overlord)

Sport a quasi-smile

Are highly manipulative

Will copy body language during conversation

They gravitate towards occupations like CEO, Lawyer, Media, Sales, Surgeon, Journalist, Police Officer, Clergy, Chef, Public Servant (usually involving government positions like politicians). One might note all ten of these occupations often require working strange hours.

Dr. Robert Hare created the Psychopathy checklist (PCL-R) which is considered the gold standard. He created a list of twenty items which can only be administered by a professional. Each question is worth either 0, 1 or 2 points which simply translates to does not apply, partial match or mixed information, or a reasonably good match to the offender. In America, if you score a 30 or higher on this checklist, you are a psychopath. In the United Kingdom 25 or higher indicates a psychopath. If you score above 34…well, then you’re Rodney Alcala. Or Jeffrey Dahmer. Or Ted Bundy. Essentially what is known as a Super Psychopath.

It is important to note most psychopaths are male. In fact, a man is ten times more likely to be psychopath than a woman. 1 in 150 men is a psychopath. 1 in 1050 women is a psychopath meaning that testosterone plays a large part in psychopathy. And so those books like Gone, Girl, are a little misleading. Female psychopaths exist, of course. They’re just rare. Presently, FMRI tests (MRI tests done with FMRI software which allow the doctors to see movement in the brain when introduced to stimuli) can determine a psychopath. Eventually, as science advances, I imagine this will be done with a blood test due to the genetic nature of the condition. Which leads us to this week’s film:

Rodney Alcala (Daniel Zovatto) uses an unusual weapon: a camera. He wields it to manipulate the vanity of his prey. And it works. He finds people, often young women, who interest him and tells them he is an award-winning photographer, drives them off into an isolated area, takes their pictures, strangles them, revives them, rapes them, and kills them. And he does it a lot.

Meanwhile, Cheryl Bradshaw (Anna Kendrick), a graduate of NYU’s Tisch School of The Arts has moved out to Hollywood and is scrambling to get jobs. She has a would-be friend and fellow neighbor in her apartment building named Terry (Pete Holms), who makes the appearance of wanting to help her but ultimately is somewhat parasitic and is not above using vague psychological warfare to try and win her affections. Cheryl gets a call from her agent one day who tells her she has booked her on The Dating Game. Cheryl realizes it’s just a one-day gig and she really isn’t all that interested, but she agrees anyway and goes on the show where she encounters subtle hints of sexism which make her uncomfortable. But nothing makes her more uncomfortable than meeting Bachelor Number Three who turns out to be Rodney Alcala.

Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Forty-Seven

October 24, 2024 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter forty-seven of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. This week was calmer than last. I am looking forward to Halloween. I love to bark at the little munchkins who come to my door asking for treats. Being a Canis lupus familiaris I am aware of the importance of treats. And I sympathize profoundly with those who must dress in absurd clothing and go door to door asking for them. As a poodle I am frequently asked to do tricks for my treats. I find this most vulgar. I either must turn around in a circle or sit up or lie down or shake my novelist’s hand. Dreadful humiliation all of it. I should make my novelist do these inane acts for the treats I give her like keeping her on schedule, complimenting her on her writing, and telling her how to drive. She should demonstrate appreciation for my input. I have no idea where she would be without my suggestions. I will say she does not force me to dress as a hotdog or a ballerina for the upcoming holiday. She knows better than that. Although I am occasionally required to wear a Darth Vader hoodie when we go walking in colder weather. And with that thought, here is chapter forty-seven of Certified Sadistic Accountant. Oidhche Shamhna Shona Dhuit!

Certified Sadistic Accountant

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Forty-Seven

Lance rang the doorbell. “Cook? Cook? Hey, Cook?”

“We know you’re in there,” Irwin said.

“Why do people say, “I know you’re in there”? Like the person who’s in there doesn’t know the person who’s out there knows they’re in there.”

“Just try and open the door and see if he left it unlocked,” Grady said.

“What if its boobie trapped?” Irwin said.

“I’m not going to tell you to shut up again, Irwin,” Lance said. “Next time I’m just going to put my foot in your ass.”

Grady marched between the two men, opened the screen door and grabbed the doorknob. He turned it and it opened. “Told you.”

“It’s a trap,” Makenna said.

“Yeah, well, we’re going in.” Grady pushed the door open, and Lance and Irwin headed inside. Grady turned and looked at Makenna. Makenna looked at him then at the door. “Get in here.”

Makenna crossed her arms and eyeballed him. Then she followed him inside.

“This place has weird furniture,” Lance said walking over and sprawling on the lips couch. “Not as comfortable as I would have guessed.”

“Cook,” Grady yelled. “We know what you did. Come out here and let’s talk. We saw you drive here. We know you’re trying to make it look like we kidnapped Dupree’s daughter.” The four accountants waited for an answer but all they got was silence.

“He’s hiding,” Lance said.

Makenna stepped up to him. “Let’s get out of here.”

“No.”

“You’re a fool.” Makenna turned and headed for the door.

Lance rushed over and blocked her. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Did you hear that?” Irwin said.

“I didn’t hear anything—”

“Shh. Everyone shut up and listen.”

“It’s coming from upstairs.”

All the accountants except Makenna headed for the staircase.

“It’s a trap,” she said.

“Cook!” Lance yelled.

Makenna sided up to Grady. “You’re a smart guy. Let’s leave.”

“We’re all going up there, Makenna,” he said.

“Don’t do this.”

“Get going.”

Makenna narrowed her eyes and filed behind Grady. The four accountants headed up the steps. When they reached the second floor, they realized it was dark.

“This place creeps me out,” Irwin said.

“Cook!” Lance yelled down the hallway. But there was no answer. He cocked his head. “Did the music just stop?”

Everyone stopped and listened.

“No, no. I hear it again. Where is that coming from?”

“I think its one floor up,” Grady said. “Let’s go.” The motley crew headed up the stairs to the third floor which was even darker than the last. “There’s got to be a wall switch here somewhere.”

The accountants felt along the walls. “Here it is,” Lance said and flipped the switch. But the lights didn’t go on. “Great. Cook killed the electricity.

“Come on, Cook,” Grady yelled. “We just want to talk to you, man.”

“The music’s getting louder.”

“Maybe it’s because we’re closer to it,” Irwin said.

“I think it’s coming from over there,” Lance said pointing towards the attic door.

“Let’s head towards it and see what’s going on,” Grady said. The accountants headed in the direction of the attic. “This is it alright.” He reached out and felt around the surface of the door and found the knob. He turned it and pushed it open. The inside was as dark as the hallway except for the center of the room. It was lit up like a stage.

“Cook!” Lance called out.

The music stopped. After a beat a moody saxophone jazz started up. The accountants crept towards the lighted middle of the room. Standing there was a mannequin with long feathery red hair wearing a 70’s era disco gown. The gown had crystal beads on it that sparkled in the light.

“Weird,” Lance said.

Soap bubbles started to rise from the back of the figure.

“Weirder,” Irving said.

“Cook,” Grady called out. “Stop with the freakishness and come out here. We want to talk about Fia’s kidnapping and get to the bottom of this whole mess.”

“Look!”

Grady and Lance turned to look at what Irving was pointing to. A large bear had suddenly flopped over the mannequin. It waved its hand at them.

“Cook!” Grady yelled and walked around to the other side, but he found no one.

“Makenna’s right,” Lance said. Let’s just leave. Makenna? Makenna? Where’s Makenna?”

The three of them looked at each other and then around the space. Then they rushed towards the door.

“It’s locked,” Grady said attempting to turn the knob. “Makenna!”

Just then the three of them heard a motor revving up.”

“She’s stealing my minivan!” Grady said.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: MARATHON MAN (1976)-SHOWTIME, PARAMOUNT+**

Is it safe? A question that will ring in your ears for days after watching this taunt, tense thriller that keeps its audience on the edge of its seat all the way until its final scene. This is not a traditional Halloween movie, as most Halloween movies these days seem to be squarely in the horror genre. But it is a fantastic study in suspense and a unique kind of cold-blooded terror. The picture is directed by John Schlesinger and written by William Golden based on his book of the same name.

Thomas “Babe” Levy (Dustin Hoffman) is a graduate student at Columbia University working on his post graduate history thesis. He is trying to help clear his father’s name. His father’s career was ruined by scandal involving the McCarthy hearings which caused Babe’s father to commit suicide. Babe is also an aspiring marathon runner who idolizes Jesse Owens and runs every day trying to beat his time. One day while studying at the library he meets another student Elsa Opal (Marthe Keller) who he believes is Swiss and falls in love with her.

Meanwhile in Paris, a CIA agent named Henry “Doc” Levy (Roy Scheider) realizes he and his fellow agents have become targets for an assassin. Doc is one of those guys with a particular set of skills. He confides in his friend, fellow agent Janeway (William Devane) about his concerns, especially after an assassin breaks into his hotel room.

And elsewhere, down in Paraguay a former Nazi and dentist named Dr. Christian Szell (Lawrence Olivier) also known as the “White Angel of Auschwitz” finds he must come out of hiding to protect his fortune after his brother is killed in a car accident in NYC.

How these three stories fit together is the premise for a genuinely disturbing story produced by The Kid Stays in the Picture himself, Robert Evans.

Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Forty-Six

October 17, 2024 ~ gigicatchesair ~ Leave a comment

Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce the forty-sixth chapter of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. This week I had the most embarrassing experience. I will tell you this could be graphic. I will do my best to be discreet and tasteful in my description of the events. I was out for a walk with my novelist, and I did my business as it were, and my novelist noticed some blood. Alarmed, she immediately swept me up, headed home, called the veterinarian who most fortunately had an opening, and drove me over. I detested going to the veterinarian and I was trembling the entire way. Once inside I trembled even more. My novelist carried me up to the desk and we were quickly escorted into one of the patients’ rooms. The nurse came in and took my information as I sat quivering on my novelist’s lap. I was then set on the counter and the young and kind doctor came in. She examined me and realized my anal glands were swollen. The doctor and nurse then took me back to the medical area where she attended to my discomfort and relieved me of my issue. She then kindly returned me to my novelist with my derriere feeling a bit out of sorts but better. They told us that was all that needed to be achieved and sent us home. I am feeling ever so much better after that. And that is this week’s spooky Halloween story. Here now is chapter forty-six of Certified Sadistic Accountant. Joyeux et effrayant octobre!

Certified Sadistic Accountant

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Forty-Six

After Curtis read Fia’s note he peered out the window blinds. Just as he suspected, the accountants had followed him home that night. He saw Grady’s van parked across the street. He carefully folded the note back up and slipped it into the pocket of his blazer. Then he grabbed his keys, headed outside, locked the door, hopped in his Honda and backed out of the driveway.

From the minivan the accountants watched him take off. Grady turned on the engine and headed after him.

“Don’t get too close,” Makenna said.

“You’re driving next time,” Grady said.

“Just don’t let him know we’re on his tail.”

“You think we might get back in time to swing by McDonalds?” Irwin asked. “I need to get some dinner before I work on those accounts.”

“If you say one more word about your accounts, I’m going to slide open this door and shove you out.”

“I’ve seen her do it too,” Lance said. “It’s gruesome. Besides, McDonnald’s sucks.”

“No, it doesn’t. I collected all four of those adult Happy Meal toys and sold them online for two thousand dollars.”

“Are you yanking my chain? You made two thousand dollars off those things?”

“Mint condition and brand new.”

“Nobody makes two thousand dollars…are you serious? Those things are weird.”

“Yeah, well, they’re two thousand dollars weird.”

“I wanted the one with the white hat,” Grady said.

“Shut up about your plastic dolls and keep your eyes on Cook,” Makenna said.

“Looks like he’s heading for the mall.”

“I haven’t had a Hot Dog on a Stick in ages,” Irwin said. “When I was a kid, I used to get a Hot Dog on a Stick then afterwards I’d get a frozen yogurt with gummy bears and strawberries.”

“I always got Reese’s Pieces,” Lance said.

“Turn the car,” Makenna shouted at Grady. “We’re losing him!”

“Shut up,” Grady said. “He’s merging, not turning.”

“Keep an eye on him. At this rate he could be heading towards Canada.”

“I could use some Tim Hortons right about now,” Irwin said.

“What is your obsession with junk food?”

“What kind of treats did you like as a kid, Makenna?”

“None. I was always dieting.”

“That sucks.”

“He’s heading for the lake,” Grady said. “You think Cook has lakefront property?”

“Maybe,” Makenna said. “There’re some smaller cabins out there.”

Curtis glanced in the rearview mirror and saw they were still on his tail. As he continued down the winding path, he realized there was still enough light outside for him to notice the spring flowers and the fresh green leaves on the trees. He cracked his window and breathed in the faintest smell of the cherry blossoms like the ones Fia had pointed out at the mall. He sped up and was able to put some distance between himself and his pursuers. As he approached his Aunt Odette’s cabin, he made a sharp turn into the driveway and rushed to park the car inside the garage, shut the door, killed the engine and remain quiet.

“He turned there,” Grady said and pulled the minivan into the driveway. “This looks like a place with an attic.”

Makenna scowled. “I don’t like this.”

“Why?” Lance asked.

“Firstly, I don’t see Cook’s car. Secondly, it’s too easy. Cook’s too smart to be easy.”

“Look,” Grady said. “You wanted us to follow Cook home. We followed him home. You wanted us to follow him here. We followed him here. And now you’re telling us something isn’t right? None of us have time for this. We all have a job to do.”

“Not if we end up in prison for breaking and entering. Not to mention animal cruelty. Then you can kiss your job goodbye. I’m telling you; this is a trap.”

“Trap, Schnapp. I couldn’t care less. I’m going in there to see what Cook is up to and fix his little red wagon.”

“Fine. Go ahead and trot your little hooves right in that cabin and get your pork loins handed to you. We’ve followed him all the way out here. There’s no need to rush now.”

“All those in favor of going inside and dealing with Cook say aye,” Lance said.

All three men said “aye”.

“All those opposed?”

“Nay,” Makenna said.

“The aye’s have it. Let’s boogie.”

“Have a blast.”

“Oh, no,” Grady said. “You forced us out here, you’re going in,”

Makenna narrowed her eyes. “Fine.”

Irwin slid open the side door of the minivan and he, Lance and Makenna disembarked. Grady jumped out of the driver’s side door. The four of them headed for the front porch. As they did, Makenna kept a close eye on the left-hand pocket of Grady’s jacket where he’d put the keys to the minivan.

MY BOOKS

**STREAM OF THE WEEK: EDGE OF TOMORROW (2014)-NETFLIX**

If you are on the hunt for a stellar science fiction film you’ve not yet seen, look no further than this week’s pick based on the novel All You Need Is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka. This is a smart, riveting, entertaining, edge of your seat film about a military officer who gets shanghaied by a ruthless general after which all sorts of wild things happen. The script is co-written by none other than Oscar winner Christopher McQuarrie along with Jezz Butterworth and John-Henry Butterworth, and deftly directed by Dough Limen. The special effects here are outstanding and hold up superbly after ten years.

Aliens known as Mimics have invaded the earth. And Major Willam Cage (Tom Cruise) is more than happy to be the television spokesperson for the battle that will stop them. That is until he is called into the office of General Bringham (Brendan Gleeson). Bringham, a stone-faced warmonger, tells Major Cage he is being sent to the front lines to film the suicide mission battle to attempt to stop Mimics from completely overtaking Europe and the world at large. Stunned by this assignment, Cage tries everything from reason to blackmail to make Bringham see that he clearly is not fit for battle. But as Cage leaves the general’s office he is arrested, tasered, and wakes up to meet Master Sergent Farrell (Bill Paxton) who gleefully leads him to the barracks with the rest of J Squad. The next day Cage is whisked off to battle where he crosses paths with highly honored Full Metal Bitch better known as Rita (Emily Blunt) and he finds out they are both doomed…or are they?