White chocolate, of course. My novelist will occationally allow me the pleasure of white chocolate in very small quantities. The downside, of course is the toothbrush and the dreaded minty mouth spray that follows.
Author: gigicatchesair
Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Fourteen
Good afternoon. I am Gigi the parti poodle. Welcome to my blog. This week my novelist had to travel and take care of business. She gave me free reign of the house for the day and left me in charge of our humble abode. Tucker the Maltese was locked in the panic room. I guarded over our home vigilantly. During that time, I read a few short stories, watched a cooking show and I made myself lunch. I barked at the occasional passerby, checked up on my stocks and of course worked on my story. I enjoyed my freedom immensely, but I was delighted when my novelist came home that evening. She was of course proud of the way I handled our property and was glad to see me again. I am certain she will give me more responsibility in the future. And with that delightful thought, here is chapter fourteen of Certified Sadistic Accountant. Enjoy.
Certified Sadistic Accountant
by
Gigi the parti poodle
Chapter Fourteen
“You’re late,” Mr. Dupree said as Curtis came through the front doors of the Dupree Accounting agency.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Dupree. I had to pick up some batteries for my dad.”
“Can’t your father buy his own batteries?”
“These are special batteries for a clock.”
“A clock?”
“My mom and dad got this crystal clock for their wedding years ago that only takes a certain type of battery.”
“Why don’t your mom and dad invest in a new clock?”
“The clock has sentimental value.”
“I’ll be glad to offer them my thoughts on clocks I’ve had good luck with. And aren’t you working on the VanArsdale’s taxes?”
“Yes. I’ll have them finished today.”
Mr. Dupree looked over at the receptionist’s desk. “Speaking of late, where’s my daughter? She’s supposed to be taking this job seriously.”
“Maybe she saw something in a store window that caught her eye.”
“That’s unlikely. She does nearly all her shopping online.”
“Nearly all?”
“I get the bills.”
“I see.”
As Curtis took a seat at his desk, Lance turned to him and said, “Check this out.” He stuck his phone in Curtis’s face. On the screen was a picture of Bexley smiling as she posed between two male volleyball players. Curtis felt his heart sink, but he kept his cool.
“Looks like she’s having fun,” Curtis said.
“Looks like she’s getting lucky.”
“Didn’t you get the picture, Cook?” Makenna snarked. “Everyone else got one.”
“I haven’t had a chance to check my phone this afternoon,” Curtis said.
He looked down and noticed his hand was shaking. He casually placed it on the desk to steady it hoping no one would notice. His arteries were still pumping with adrenaline. But he needed to remain calm. Make everyone think it was just another dull day at the office. He glanced over at Irving and Grady. Grady glanced back which made Curtis knock over his pencil cup.
“Whoa,” Lance said. “Little too much coffee there, Cook the Books?”
Calm, Curtis told himself. Stay calm. He picked up the pens and pencils and returned the cup to an upright position. He opened his folder on the computer for the VanArsdale account and began working. He felt a certain thrill about what had transpired that afternoon. For the first time in a long time, he had gotten the upper hand.
Curtis drove his Honda down Riverside Drive. It was a dark clear dusk, hardly a car around. He didn’t like driving to the cabin at night. The road was like riding on an indoor roller coaster traveling over and around corners on route to the lake.
He’d had the sense to shut off his phone before leaving for lunch that day. And he’d had the sense to shut it off before leaving the duplex. He’d also had the sense that afternoon to grab Fia’s handbag, drive back to the mall, park, and shut off her phone. It was as good of place for her to disappear as any. He’d put the phone back in the handbag and put the handbag in the trunk. He’d stick it in his aunt’s large safe when he reached the cabin.
Keeping his phone off at the cabin was not an issue. If he really needed to call someone Aunt Odette had a landline in her bedroom. His dad had been trying to get her to shut it off for some time. But his aunt insisted it was important to have a landline as well as a cell phone. Especially since one of the cabins on the opposite side of the lake had been burgled. The family, a man, his wife, and their two children had been home at the time. Although all four survived the incident there were rumors it had been a more terrifying ordeal than the local paper reported. Aunt Odette was not fond of terrifying ordeals and therefore kept the landline. In addition, she kept a set of throwing knives under her bed. If one were to go out back where the property overlooked the lake, one would find a bullseye set up where she practiced.
As far as how she became adept in the skills of knife throwing, it had started with her college roommate. The roommate came from a carnival family. She was the first to attend college. On weekends, the two young women would go out to the knife throwing range and practice.
One time in Japan while attending an art festival, Aunt Odette met a painter who had studied martial arts all his life. Aunt Odette begged him to teach her the skill of throwing stars. At first, he was apprehensive but later decided Curtis’s aunt was quite serious about learning how to throw shuriken and he became her shurikenjutsu instructor. She excelled and later kept a few throwing stars hidden in different parts of the cabin.
Curtis turned off the car in the small separate garage and sat relishing the victory of his efforts. His plan was not yet complete, but he had successfully executed part one. Now all he had to do was check on Fia.
He disembarked the car, put down the garage doors and headed into the cabin. Everything was as he’d left it that afternoon. He moved into the kitchen and grabbed a flashlight out of one of the drawers. He knew Fia would try to escape, and he would have to take measures against her if she did. And so, he also procured a large can of bear mace from under the sink. Then he headed up the stairs to the attic door.
MY BOOKS
You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!
STREAM OF THE WEEK: POISON, THE RAT CATCHER, AND THE SWAN (2023)-NETFLIX
Last week’s pick was the Oscar Nominated, The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar. In addition, Wes Anderson has also made three other Roald Dahl shorts based on Dahl’s short stories. These thoughtful and whimsical tales are also well worth watching and star members of the same cast.
Poison is about a man named Harry Pope (Benedict Cumberbatch), an Englishman living in India, who while lying in bed discovers a small but poisonous snake on his stomach. His friend Timber Woods (Dev Patel) returns home to discover Harry lying very still. Whispering Harry explains his peril. Timber then calls Dr. Ganderbai (Ben Kingsley) to help save Harry.
The Rat Catcher is a creepy little tale (no pun intended) about a newspaper Editor (Richard Ayoade) who’s office is next door to a mechanic Claude (Rupert Friend). Claude has a rat problem and so by special orders from the Health Office an unusual rodent officer known as the Rat Man (Ralph Fiennes) has come out to deal with the rats. Pay close attention to the set when watching this one.
The Swan tells the story told by a Narrator (Rupert Friend) about a young boy named Peter Watson (Asa Jennings) who is pursued by two psychopathic boys. One of the large idiotic bullies (as they are called) named Ernie has been given a gun and a box of bullets for his birthday. He goes to the house of Raymond, the other idiotic bully to go out with him in search of something to kill.
Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Thirteen
Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter thirteen of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. This week my novelist and I had the honor of watching the film Pachyderme, a beautiful and disturbing story nominated for an Oscar for Best Animated Short Film. My novelist was going to include it with her other film pick this week (one of the live action shorts nominated). Unfortunately, the film is no longer running on YouTube. We would humbly ask the Academy to make all nominated shorts, animated, documentary and live action, available to the public on some streaming service or services prior to the Oscar ceremony. We aren’t even asking for the Academy to run them on YouTube per say. We are just asking for all of them to be available to stream. It would be great to feature all of them as a package on one or more of the services but that’s probably asking too much. Pachyderme is an exceptional film which, like many of these gems, begs to be seen by a worldwide audience. It was an extraordinary experience watching this mini masterpiece and we hope it finds a steaming home so we can recommend it at some point in the future. And with that thought here is chapter thirteen of Certified Sadistic Accountant. Enjoy!
Certified Sadistic Accountant
by
Gigi the Parti Poodle
Chapter Thirteen
Fia started to wonder if she had remembered her mace. She usually kept it in her bag but last night she’d switched bags before going out for drinks with Bexley. She’d been tired when she’d come home and wondered if she may have left it in her smaller bag. She picked her bag off the floor and rummaged around inside.
“Looking for something?” Curtis asked.
“Lip balm,” Fia replied as calmly as she could.
“Lips get chapped this time of year?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm.”
Fia felt around her bag and could not seem to locate the can of pepper spray. Panic surged through her. She couldn’t locate her lip balm either. Fia glanced out the window and noticed the terrain becoming more rural. “How far out does your aunt live?”
“A way.”
“So, what is it your aunt needs?”
“She needs me to pick something up.”
The Honda continued down a winding road. Fia looked out the window again and realized they were heading towards the lake. “Your aunt’s place on the lake?”
Curtis didn’t answer and accelerated the speed of the car.
“Maybe we should head back to the office. It’s getting late.”
“Open the glove compartment please.”
Fia glanced at the glove compartment and carefully opened it. Inside were a couple of flash drives, a sunglass case, a set of leather driving gloves, an ice scraper, and a small stash of granola bars.
“Hand me one of those granola bars, please.”
Fia grabbed one of the granola bars and handed it to him.
“Open the wrapper for me, would you?”
“Can’t you open it yourself?”
“I’m driving.”
Fia studied him then sat back in the passenger’s seat and looked out the window. The lake was visible now. Rain started hitting the windshield. The air felt muggy. Claustrophobia moved in on her. She was sure she’d left her mace in the other handbag.
Curtis saw the cabin coming up. He knew he had to keep his cool. He turned off the road and drove down the gravel driveway. He shut off the engine, unfastened his seatbelt and opened the doors.
Fia grabbed her handbag and disembarked the car. They headed towards the clearing where the two-story cabin stood. Curtis walked up the steps to the door as Fia stayed on the gravel clutching her handbag and watching him closely. Curtis opened the screen door, which made a menacing squeak and unlocked the cabin. He pushed open the door and turned to Fia. “Come on in,” he said.
“Your aunt isn’t here?”
“She’s in Canada right now.”
“Why is this so urgent if she’s in Canada?”
“She wants me to pick up a couple of paintings to get ready for auction.”
“I took a few art classes in college. I’d like to see them when you bring them out here.”
“I need to package them up before I put them in the car. You could help me.”
Fia considered the idea. “Alright,” she said feeling more at ease believing Curtis had a purpose for this trip. She moved up the steps and into the cabin. When she got inside, she was surprised to find how modern and minimalist the place felt. “This is nice,” she said gazing over at a curvy red chair. She noticed when she looked at it from the side it doubled as a bookshelf.
Noticing her fixation on the piece Curtis said, “It’s not the most comfortable chair in the world.”
Fia’s eyes moved to the curved floor lamp that stood beside it. It had two feet for a base that reminded her of a cartoon character, pronounced curved piping, and a rounded stark white flying saucer shaped shade. She gazed over to the bay window overlooking the lake where an arctic blue Marylyn Bocca lips couch stood. “Some of this furniture must be quite expensive,” she said.
“Aunt Odette is always collecting art. Some of it is valuable and some is just plain odd.”
“I think she has great taste. I love that lighting on the ceiling there. It really sets off the room.”
“You mean that glass thing up there that looks like a coral reef?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah, she loves that one. I think it’s a Chihuly.”
“Really? Wow. When I buy my own house after grad school, I’m going to ask my dad for one.”
Curtis raised an eyebrow. “Won’t you have loans to pay off?”
“No.”
“I see. Anyway, the pieces I need to get are that thing over the couch,” he said pointing to a still life of pansies in an antique gold frame above an olive-green Scandinavian midcentury modern sofa, “and then there’s another painting in her bedroom. Would you mind doing me a favor? Could you take that one down while I go get the coverings?”
Fia shrugged. “Sure.”
“Thank you. I’ll be right back.”
Curtis left and headed towards the stairs. Fia gazed at the painting. It looked out of place amongst all the modern furniture. Just the same she found the fragile flowers striking and pleasing to the eye.
Out of curiosity she walked over and sat on the red bookshelf chair. She disagreed with Curtis. It was quite comfortable. She decided it was the attention to the wooden curves that fit the body well. She could see it as a fabulous set piece for one of her performance art shows. She imagined crawling in and out of the structure, placing props on it, and making the chair seem as if it had come to life.
“Fia,” Curtis called returning to the room.
Fia hopped out of the chair and darted for the painting.
“I’m going to need your help getting this packaging out of the attic.”
“Why?” she said.
“It’s a walk-in, but she’s got so much stuff up there I can’t get to it. I’d need to slink around places I’m not small enough to fit.”
Fia studied Curtis. Maybe her apprehensions about him were far-fetched. But she was skeptical about heading upstairs into an attic. “I don’t like attics,” she said. “I almost fell out of one once when I was in preschool.”
“It’s a walk in with a door. It’s like stepping into a room.”
“I don’t feel comfortable about this, Curtis.”
“I’ll keep you safe. Come on.”
Fia sighed. “Fine.”
She set her handbag down on the green couch and followed Curtis out of the room, around the corner to the left and on to the stairs. They ascended to the second floor and then onto the attic. Curtis pushed the door open and Fia followed him inside where he pointed to the back corner. Fia surveyed the room and its contents. Everything was neat, clean and in its place. Fia could see a clear path to the back of the room.
“You couldn’t get back there?” she said pointing.
“It’s too cramped,” Curtis insisted.
“I mean this is the most organized attic I’ve ever seen.”
“It’s deceptively difficult to navigate.”
“As soon as I get back there and get this stuff, we are packing those pictures and going back to the office.”
Fia started making her way through the sculptures and other paintings Curtis’s aunt had stored. Curtis watched Fia until she had almost reached the back. Then he spun around and headed to the door.
“Hey!” Fia yelled.
Curtis slammed the door shut and locked it before hurrying back down the stairs.
MY BOOKS
You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!
STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE WONDERFUL STORY OF HENRY SUGAR (2023) NETFLIX
Who would have thought Wes Anderson, amid a phenomenal film career, would suddenly decide to make a short? Well, be glad he did because this delightful forty or so minute film on Netflix is well worth the watch. And it was nominated for an Oscar for Best Live Action Short Film. Based on the Roald Dahl short story and shot like a play (think Rushmore) with its delightful sets and superb cast, it is a clever whimsical meditation on the power of generosity.
The story, told with all the characters taking turns as the narrator starting with Roald Dahl himself (Ralph Fiennes who also plays the Policeman), begins with a wealthy man named Henry Sugar (Bennedict Cumberbatch) who inherits a large sum of money from his father. Henry’s first desire is to gamble with his windfall. After receiving his inheritance, he finds an unusual thin book in his father’s library. The book turns out to be a medical report by a man named Dr. Chatterjee (Dev Patal). The report is about Imdad Khan (Ben Kingsley) a man who can see things without using his eyes. The report says that as a young man Imdad sought out The Great Yogi (Richard Ayoade who also plays Dr. Marshall) after seeing him in a circus act. Imdad studied with The Great Yogi and continued studying the craft for many years afterwards to accomplish the skill. Desiring to acquire the skill as well, Henry begins a disciplined study of the skill himself, learning some important life lessons along the way.
Look for the uber cool Jarvis Cocker of the rock group PULP in a few different cameos.
If I won the lottery…
What would you do if you won the lottery?
Being a frugal poodle who loves to watch old reruns of EF Hutton commercials on YouTube, I would invest, invest, invest. I would of course treat myself to a diamond encrusted collar. But luxuries beyond that would be little to none save a house on a hill where I could look down on my underlings as I continued to write stories, watch my investments, and enjoy the growth of my money.
Books I’d Like to Read
What books do you want to read?
As a poodle I consider myself an intellectual. I would like to complete Infinite Jest. Others that come to mind are Darkness at Noon, J.R., Slauterhouse Five and Comming Up for Air. But of all the books I have never read, the ones I’d like to read the most are the ones I have not yet written. My novelist has completed three novels (one is a five book series ) and I have written five short stories for which I posted a chapter a week and am working on my sixth. I desire to someday complete a full length novel like my novelist.
Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Twelve
Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter twelve of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. This week was the announcement of this year’s Academy Award nominations. These are what we think are the most deserving nods from the films we have seen so far:
The Holdovers for Best picture, Best actor in a leading role (Paul Giamatti) Best actress in a supporting role (Da’Vine Joy Randolph), Best original screenplay, and Best editing
Oppenheimer for Best Picture, Best Actor in a Leading Role (Cillian Murphy), Best Actor in a Supporting Role (Robert Downey Jr.) Best Director (Christopher Nolen), Best Cinematography, Best Costume Design, B est Editing, Best Sound, and Best Production Design.
Barbie for Best Actor in a Supporting Role (Ryan Gossling), Best Original Song (“I’m Just Ken”), Best Costume Design, and Best Production Design.
Killers of the Flower Moon for Best Actress in a Leading Role (Lily Gladstone), Best Cinematography, Best Original Score
The Boy and the Heron for Best animated feature film
We look forward to viewing more Oscar nominated films and finding out how they compare to what we have seen so far. And with that note, here is chapter twelve of Certified Sadistic Accountant. Enjoy.
Certified Sadistic Accountant
by
Gigi the parti poodle
Chapter Twelve
Thursday. Twelve-twenty-five in the afternoon. Fia met Curtis in the parking lot of the Dupree Tax Agency.
“What do you think is a good place to start looking?” Curtis asked her as she stepped up to his Honda.
“I thought about that last night,” Fia said, “and my dad really likes baseball memorabilia. So, I thought we could stop at that store at the mall.”
“Sounds good. Hop in.” They both climbed into Curtis’s Honda. He turned to her and asked, “Got your seatbelt on?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I don’t want to put you in harm’s way.”
Fia giggled nervously. Something seemed off but she didn’t know what. Curtis drove out of the parking lot on route to the mall.
“Mr. Dupree said you finishing a degree in Performance Art and got a scholarship for grad school.”
“Yes,” Fia said. “I was originally inspired by watching an off-Broadway play where a woman made a cake backwards onstage. It was extraordinary. I saw it when I was in early middle school when I’d gone back to New York with my parents and little brother. It was the single most inspiring day of my life.”
“I’ve never been inspired by anything. I just always knew I was good at math and numbers so that’s the path I took.”
“It’s the same path my dad took.”
“And not a very exciting one.”
“Math is a talent. It takes talent to do people’s taxes. Especially some of these farmers with all their land and business. That gets crazy. And that Barton guy who owns a small chain of restaurants and a racehorse.”
“Yeah, I started handling Barton’s taxes last year.”
“I know. Daddy told me. He says he wanted you working for Barton because you’re his best accountant.”
“Really,” Curtis said surprised. “I…thank you. Thank you for telling me.”
“Of course.”
“So, sports memorabilia, huh?”
“Especially baseball. My dad loves statistics.”
“So, do I. I used to score baseball games when I was I kid, but I lost interest.”
“Why?”
“So, if your dad thinks I’m the best accountant, why did Lance and Makenna each win the award the past two years?”
Fia bit her lip. “I don’t know. You’d have to ask my dad.”
They didn’t say anything to each other until they drove over the bridge and pulled into the mall parking lot.
“Which part of the mall is the sports collectible store on?” Curtis asked.
“It’s right beside the department store.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll park over here.”
He drove to the south end of the parking lot. They disembarked his Honda and headed for the entrance. Fia caught the faintest whiff of the cherry blossom trees placed strategically around the property.
“I wish I had cherry blossom fragrance oil,” she said. “They sell it at this soap store near my university. Don’t they smell incredible?”
Curtis who hadn’t noticed the smell of the blossoming trees said, “Yeah, pleasant.”
As they arrived at the entrance, Curtis opened the door for her.
“Thank you,” she said surprised. “It’s so rare to find a gentleman these days.”
“Opening doors for people is just something my father instilled in me. There’s no glory in being a gentleman.”
“That’s not true. I think there’s a reward in being a gentleman. There’s just so few around.”
“Small wonder.”
“We should take a right here and head for cosmetics. The entrance is by the cosmetics counter.”
Curtis rarely went to the mall except to see a film at the movie theatre. He was more than happy to follow Fia. Department stores were always labyrinths designed to trap you. Fia was more than an adept guide and got them to the cosmetic counter in no time.
“See,” she said as they stepped out into the mall. “There’s the sports store.” Curtis followed Fia’s finger to the left where he saw a small store designed in dark colors. It looked like an oasis in the enclosed shopping nightmare. The two stepped up to the window where there was a display of baseball memorabilia. “See that baseball in the plexiglass cube there?”
“The signed one?” Curtis asked.
“My dad would love that. It’s signed by his favorite player.”
“How much do you think it is?”
“I’d say around five hundred, more or less.”
“Five hundred dollars? I was thinking of something less than that.”
“You can just put it on your credit card.”
“Yeah, well I have a credit score of 805. And it won’t be a score of 805 if I buy that thing.”
“You could get my dad a signed photo of his favorite baseball player.”
“How much will that set me back?”
“About two hundred dollars.”
“Two hundred dollars? Look, I can’t afford that kind of gift. How about something around fifty dollars?”
“Fifty?”
“Or less if possible.”
“Less? Let me think if there’s something he’d like in the fifty-dollar range.”
Fia wrang her hands, her eyes scanning the display window. “I suppose you could get him a metal or a metal and leather keychain. They have some that run around forty-nine dollars. Or maybe you could get him a crystal mug with the team logo etched on it.”
“Those sound nice.” Curtis could tell Fia was disappointed. Either she was delusional or so spoiled she was oblivious to financial reality.
“You know,” she said, “now that I think about it, he might really like a crystal mug.”
“Great. Let’s go inside and look at mugs.”
They entered the store where they saw a display of glassware over to the left. Curtis stepped up to the table, picked up one of the crystal mugs, and checked the price.
“Forty bucks,” he said.
“They can personalize it.”
“What does it cost to do the etching?”
“Ten dollars.”
“I could spring for that. You think they’d gift wrap it.”
“Yes, they gift wrap.”
“Good.”
They took the mug up to the counter where a tall guy was standing. He looked like he played a lot of sports.
“Hi,” Curtis said to the guy.
“How’s it going?” the guy said.
“I was wondering if I could get this mug personalized.”
“Yeah, sure. But it’ll be about thirty days.”
“Thirty days?” Curtis said surprised.
“We’ve had a lot of requests for personalization lately. Especially etching.”
“Seriously? It’s not even Christmas season.”
“Yeah, I don’t know what it is, but we have a backlog.”
“Thing is it’s a birthday gift for my boss. I was hoping to get him something around fifty dollars.”
“Fifty bucks, huh? Your boss have a desk job?”
Curtis didn’t like the way the guy said desk job. “Yes, he does.”
“We just got some crystal paperweights in over there,” he said pointing. “Run you about forty-five dollars.”
Curtis and Fia turned to see the display. They looked at each other and then headed over to the paperweights. They were round and smooth with a slanted top. Inside was and etched image of the logo of Mr. Dupree’s favorite baseball team.
“How much are they?” Curtis asked.
“Sixty.”
“Uh, huh,” he said begrudgingly. “Can you box it up? Giftwrap it and such?”
“Yes.”
“Sold.”
“Cool.”
“Fia, would you pick one out?”
Fia perused the table and picked the one she thought looked the most pristine. They headed back to the counter and the guy rang up the sale. The guy handed Curtis the receipt before heading into the back to wrap the gift.
“My dad will really appreciate this, Curtis,” Fia said.
“Thanks,” Curtis replied. “I wouldn’t have thought to get him sports memorabilia. I didn’t even know he was into baseball.”
“I suppose he doesn’t talk much about himself at work.”
“No. But it’s probably wise to keep oneself…mysterious.”
“Yeah, but my dad does mysterious to a fault.”
“Here you go,” the guy said returning.
He set the paperweight on the counter which was boxed and wrapped in a dark grey wrapping paper tied with a bright blue satin ribbon.
“That looks beautiful,” Fia said. “Thank you.”
“Welcome.”
Fia picked up the gift and Curtis followed her out of the store and back through the department store’s maze until they arrived at the parking lot exit. Curtis pushed the door open and held it for Fia.
“You have such good manners, Curtis.”
“Thank you.”
They stepped outside and headed towards Curtis’s Honda. When they reached the car Curtis popped open the trunk and Fia set the box inside. He unlocked the passenger side door and held it for her as she climbed inside, a gesture which also seemed to delight her. Then he jogged around to the driver’s side.
“I guess we’d better get back to the office,” Fia said after Curtis shut the door.
“Yep,” Curtis said and pulled out and headed for the exit where he clicked on his left blinker and checked for traffic.
“The office is back that way, Curtis,” Fia said and pointed right.
“I know. But I need to run and errand first.”
“Do we have time?”
Curtis made the turn and started heading north.
“What kind of errand?”
“I promised my dad I’d pick up something.”
“Oh.” Fia thought that sounded a little strange, but she had come along for the ride so why not.
Curtis drove straight down the main arterial until he reached the turnoff where he turned right and headed for the lake.
MY BOOKS
You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!
STREAM OF THE WEEK: THELMA AND LOUISE (1990)-PLUTO TV & THE ROKU CHANNEL
I should have known when I sat down to watch the film Barbie, the script penned by Noah Bombach and Greta Gerwig was going to be an exercise in mediocrity. Especially looking at the track record of both writers who have cranked out film after film which fail to reach greatness whether it be the narcissistic The Squid and the Whale or the uninspired Lady Bird. The only thing worse about Barbie other than its script is the song What Was I Made For, yet another dud penned by the brother and sister team of Billie Eilish and Finneas O’Connell, the Salieri’s of modern music.
When Alfred Hitchcock was looking for a screenwriter for The Birds, he originally hired James Kennaway to adapt Daphne DuMauier’s short story. Kennaway had found success adapting his own novel Tunes of Glory. After working on how he would do the adaptation, Kennaway approached Hitchcock and said that everything about the birds would be seen through the eyes of the characters and that the audience would never see a single bird but only hear and feel their presence. Hitchcock sighed and said, “Ah! Well, thank you very much, Mr. Kennaway, for your efforts. There will be a check in the mail.” Hitchcock ultimately hired Even Hunter to pen the script for this terrifying classic which contains a fair number of birds.
I am, of course, amongst other things, referring to the monologue in Barbie delivered by the character Gloria which comes off more as a social media rant than a logical argument. The writers and director chose to tell and not show, taking the already vapid script (save bright spots with Ken) to sink further into the quagmire.
Which brings me to my stream of the week, one of the best American films about feminism ever made. Callie Khouri’s brilliant script is not just a great story but with Sir Ridley Scott’s extraordinary direction, landmark performances by Susan Sarandon and Gina Davis, Adiran Bridal’s gorgeous cinematography and Hans Zimmer’s haunting score it is also an extraordinary exercise in symbolism. Every step of the way, all the meticulous details, from how the leads pack the car to looking in mirrors to trading jewelry for necessities to the dialogue like in this brilliant scene between the two leads and its unforgettable finale, it gets the points across clearly, subtly and intelligently. It doesn’t require either of the women to step up on a pedestal and give some half-cocked speech on the downfalls of being female. Monologues have their place in films like Gordon Gecko’s speech in Wall Street, but they need to effectively argue, or counter argue the premise of the film.
The story starts out in Arkansas with young housewife Louise (Geena Davis) and waitress Thelma (Susan Sarandon) preparing to go for a weekend at a cabin Thelma’s boss owns that he is losing in a divorce. Louise attempts to ask her narcissistic carpet salesman husband Daryll (Christopher McDonald who is also great here) if she can go. Knowing he’ll never say yes Louise agrees to take off with Thelma and the two overpack Thelma’s turquoise Thunderbird check their makeup, take a picture and leave. But on the way they stop at a roadhouse bar where a scumbag named Harlan Puckett (Timothy Carhart) schmoozes naive Louise and the two drink and dance together. This flirtation leads to an unexpected altercation in the parking lot which ultimately changes the two women’s lives.
Rounding out the cast are Harvey Keitel as Investigator Hal Slocumb, Michael Madson as Jimmy, and a young Brad Pitt as J.D., the role that put him on the map.
Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Eleven
Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter eleven of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. We got our first snowfall of the year this week. It has been quite slushy where we are but around us are places which are getting hit harder. It’s hard to believe I went for my first walk with my novelist a couple days ago since her ankle debacle and now it is treacherous out there.
This week we watched the Emmy Awards and were heartbroken that Better Call Saul received no statues. In fact, the show has never won an Emmy despite being nominated for fifty-three of them over the course of its run. This was most disheartening as my novelist, and I considered it the best American show on television this past year. We thought it should have taken home awards for Best Drama Series, Best Lead Actor in a Drama Series for Bob Odenkirk, Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series for Rhea Seehorn, Outstanding Picture Editing For A Drama Series, Outstanding Writing For A Drama Series for S6.E13 ∙ Saul Gone. We are confused as why S6.E7 ∙ Plan and Execution was not nominated for writing as that was the episode we would have awarded with the Emmy. This is most disheartening for a show which was consistently brilliant, never once losing its way and did the unbelievable: it nailed its ending. Perhaps it’s another sad instance of realizing it is not cream which rises but rather mediocrity. Until time passes and everyone forgets about the mediocre.
On the upside, we are delighted at all the awards The Bear took for the Comedy Series catagory including Outstanding Comedy Series, Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series for Jeremy Allen White, Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series for Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series for Ayo Edebiri. We are also delighted at all the awards the fantastic Beef won for limited series including Outstanding Limited or Anthology Series, Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series or Movie for Steven Yeun, Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie for Ali Wong, Outstanding Directing For A Limited Or Anthology Series Or Movie, and Outstanding Writing For A Limited Or Anthology Series Or Movie. We were also delighted that Paul Walter Hauser won Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Limited Or Anthology Series Or Movie for playing the very creepy Larry Hall in the fantastic Black Bird and the wacky Weird: The Al Yankovic Story winning Outstanding Television Movie.
And now after all that exposition here is chapter eleven of Certified Sadistic Accountant. Enjoy!
Certified Sadistic Accountant
by
Gigi the parti poodle
Chapter Eleven
Thursday. Seven-fifteen A.M. Curtis pulled into the parking lot of the Dupree Tax Agency. He killsed the engine and stared at the building. He’d spent the entire night plotting. He went over his plan in his head again just like he had at midnight, two A.M. and four A.M. He wanted some coffee, and he wanted it now. Curtis unlocked the car door and strode up to the entrance. He took a deep breath and exhaled. Today was going to be different.
He marched into the building and headed for the break room where he examined the level of beans in the coffee machine. He filled it, which didn’t require much effort. As Mr. Dupree said, only he and Curtis drank the house coffee. He brewed a cup for himself and added his usual quota of milk. He started to add regular sugar and then decided to be adventurous. He grabbed two packets of raw sugar, ripped them open, and poured them into his coffee. Yup, he thought, next step a Harley Davidson. He strutted out to his desk and waited. Five minutes later Mr. Dupree and his lovely daughter Fia entered the building.
“Good morning, Curt,” Mr. Dupree said sporting his London Fog trench coat and his usual suit and tie.
“Good morning, Mr. Dupree,” Curtis said.
“Hi, Curtis,” Fia said taking off her Ralph Lauren Lambskin Moto Jacket.
“Good morning, Fia,” Curtis said eerily.
Fia gave him a strange look as she went about hanging her jacket on the coat stand behind the receptionist desk. “Oh,” she said noticing the coffee cup he was holding. “I would have filled the beans last night before I left if I knew you’d get here before we did.”
“It’s fine. I filled the beans when I came in.”
“Thank you. That was sweet of you, Curtis.”
Mr. Dupree headed into the breakroom to get his coffee.
“Flying solo today.”
“What?”
“This is your first day not shadowing Bexley.”
“Oh. Yes, that’s right. I guess I am flying solo today.”
Curtis smiled mischievously. “You’ll do just fine. In fact, you’ll do better than fine.”
“Thank you.”
“Absolutely.”
There was a long pause and then she said, “I’m going to see what else needs to be done in the break room…”
“Say, Fia.”
“Yes?”
“I was wondering if you could help me at lunch today.”
Fia gave him a puzzled look.
“I was hoping you could help me figure out what to get your father for his birthday.”
“Yes,” she said surprised. “That’s kind of you to remember.”
“I’m running out of ideas.”
“He’s hard to buy for.”
“Lunch then.”
“Yes, lunch.”
“Good.”
Fia hurried into the breakroom. Curtis gazed out the front window waiting for his fellow accountants to arrive. He opened his drawer, put on a headset, and listened to heavy metal music. Five minutes later they appeared, each holding a pastel coffee cup from The Steamed Bean.
“Hey, Cook the Books,” Lance said nonchalantly as he strode to his desk. “Ready to try and win that big competition?”
It angered Curtis the way Lance spoke to him as if nothing had happened. But he kept his cool and said calmly, “Not try. Do.”
“What are you, Yoda now?”
“I’m going to win this time.”
“Well, alright buddy. Game on.”
Curtis’s eyes shifted to Makenna and narrowed. She looked as cool as ice standing there in her designer boots and full-length London Fog raincoat. “Good morning, Makenna,” he said unable to help himself.
Makenna turned towards Curtis and in that precise moment he saw a flicker of shock in her eyes. And that was all it took for Curtis to know she was guilty. Not that she had remorse for killing Haven, He knew she was incapable of feeling remorse. But she did fear getting caught and that one flicker, that one surge of concern for her own well-being could not be mistaken.
“Good morning, Cook,” she said with malice.
“Cook the Books says he’s going to win Accountant of the Year,” Lance said.
Makenna stared at Curtis as if she were a spider examining an insect in her web. “Did he?”
“I just believe in good honest work,” Curtis said.
“It isn’t just good honest work that makes you a winner.”
“You’re right. Sometimes it takes a little bit more. And maybe I’m distracted.”
“What’s distracting you?” Lance said smugly. “Bexley?”
“No. My dog died yesterday.”
“What?” Fia said returning from the breakroom.
“My Yorkshire Terrier. She somehow got loose yesterday, ran out into the street, and got hit.”
“Oh, Curtis! I’m so sorry.”
Curtis looked at Makenna and said, “I guess I didn’t lock my house up as well as I thought.”
“Your mind’s been on Tax Season.”
“Maybe,” Curtis said noticing the flash of discomfort flicker in Makenna’s eyes.
Lance glanced at Makenna then at Curtis. He took a pull off his espresso.
“It’s terrible losing a pet,” Fia said. “I had a chihuahua when I was a kid. She was white with blue eyes. I took her everywhere. But when she turned fifteen, we had to put her down. It was awful. Broke my heart.”
“Yeah,” Curtis said with a lump in his throat.
“Well,” Makenna said heading for her desk. “I have a client coming in at eight. Sorry for your loss, Cook the Books, but I have a contest to win.”
“Yeah, me too,” Irving said.
“Time to kick some ass,” Grady said.
Lance glanced at Curtis then put his laptop in his docking station and focused on his monitor.
Curtis turned to his computer screen and smiled. He was nail on about these guys. All he had to do now was put his plan into action.
MY BOOKS
You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!
STREAM OF THE WEEK-TETRIS (2023)-APPLE TV+
STREAM OF THE WEEK-TETRIS (2023)-APPLE TV+
This week’s pick is an exciting and entertaining film based on the true story of how one very determined young businessman bet everything he owned and the safety of his family on getting the rights to the enormously popular videogame Tetris…from the Russian government.
In 1988, Henk Rogers (Taron Egerton who received an Emmy nomination this year for his excellent work in Black Bird ) a likeable young businessman for the company Bulletproof Software while trying to sell his video game at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, spots another game called Tetris for which the rights are apparently owned by Mirrorsoft. Henk plays the game for five minutes and realizes this is the hit of the future. He buys or at least thinks he buys the Tetris rights for PC, console, and arcade in Japan. But he is wrong. Apparently, the rights for Tetris were obtained for the company by Robert Stein (Toby Jones) who works for Media Tycoon Robert Maxwell (Roger Allam) and his son Kevin Maxwell (Anthony Boyle).
Henk then manages to get a meeting with Nintendo who are finishing up development on their newest product the Nintendo Game Boy. Henk tells them Tetris would be an excellent game to bundle with the new handheld device and says he will find a way to get the rights to Tetris to make it happen. Henk flies to London to meet with Robert Stein and offers $25,000 for worldwide handheld rights as the Game Boy. But Rogers double-crosses him and sells the handheld rights to Atari for $100,000.
Henk then obtains a tourist visa, hops a plane and flies to the Soviet Union to obtain the rights from the original source, which turns out to be a more harrowing journey than he imagined. He hires a young woman named Sasha (Sophia Lebedeva) to be his interpreter who translates between Henk and the Chairman of ELORG Nikolai Belikov (Oleg Stefan). Nikolai tells him because all the rights to Tetris are property of ELORG, or in other words the government of the Soviet Union, and only released PC rights to Robert Stein and no one else legally owns any rights to the game, including the young creator Alexey Pajitnov (Nikita Efremov) and the rights Henk obtained are illegal.
Rounding out the cast are Ayane Nagabuchi as Roger’s wife Akemi Rogers and Igor Grabuzov in a standout performance as the sinister head of the department of foreign trade of the Soviet Union Valentin Trifonov.
What snack would I eat right now?
What snack would you eat right now?
I could really go for a white chocolate dipped Milk Bone from the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. They are most scrumptious.
Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Ten
Good afternoon. Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter ten of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. We are expecting a cold snap this weekend. I for one do not like the cold. I prefer warm weather with a soft comfortable blanket encircled around me. An adjacent heat vent is also preferred and if there is winter sun shining through a nearby window that is also a plus. I sometimes question why I live where I do. A warm sunny desert often sounds so appealing. But then there would be snakes and tarantulas. Last night I dreamed a large green hairless tarantula bit my leg. I woke up with a start. I was able to fall back to sleep but then dreamed of my twin brother whom I only knew as a puppy. He was talking to me politely about something, but I didn’t trust him. I don’t remember him being untrustworthy, but I felt he was up to something. I also fear a bath is in my near future. Maybe that looming event is the root of my nightmares. And with that thought here is chapter ten of Certified Sadistic Accountant. Enjoy.
Certified Sadistic Accountant
by
Gigi the Parti Poodle
Chapter Ten
Curtis studied the surveillance video, but he still couldn’t determine why the criminals looked familiar.
“I’ve called the police,” Ray said, “and they have a couple of officers who should be at your place in a couple of minutes, so we’d better drive back to meet them.”
“Alright. Let’s go.”
Ray and Curtis drove back to the duplex and pulled their vehicles into the driveway just as the patrol car eased up to the curb. A male officer and a female officer disembarked the car.
“Hello, officers,” Ray said climbing down from his truck.
“We got a call about a break in,” the female officer said.
“Yep. We got the crime recorded on my surveillance tape.”
“They take anything?”
“Well, they got my tenant’s dog killed.”
“Really? How?”
“They left the door ajar when they broke in and the dog ran out into the street and got hit by a delivery truck.”
“Sorry to hear that. Well, let’s look at what we have here.”
“Did it look like a forced entry?” the male officer asked.
“No,” Curtis said siding up to Ray. “The video showed they picked the lock.”
“Hmm. Maybe what we have is a couple of professional thieves.”
“Maybe.”
The two officers stepped up to Curtis’s door and studied it. “Yeah, the lock looks to be intact,” the male officer said. “Doesn’t appear to be a forced entry. In fact, they locked the door when they left. Have you been in the apartment since the break in?”
“No,” Curtis said. “No one has.”
“That’s good. Then it should be as these criminals left it. Go ahead and open the door.”
Curtis unlocked the door and the four of them stepped inside. The two officers noted how immaculate the place looked.
“You keep a clean house,” the female officer said. “Why don’t you look around to see if anything is missing.”
Curtis carefully searched through his kitchen and around his breakfast nook. Nothing seemed to be out of place. He glanced up at the corner where he’d hidden the surveillance camera, and it looked like someone had spraypainted the lens.
“Nothing seems to be missing,” he said. “I’ll go check my bedroom.”
Curtis headed into the bedroom and noticed immediately his comforter was askew. He usually made the bed neatly before heading to work and Haven had always kept it that way. But the plain white comforter seemed to have been tousled. Maybe the location of a scuffle.
He checked his closet, dresser drawers, computer desk, and under his bed. Everything seemed to be in order. He checked his hidden strongbox where he kept a stash of cash. All the money was there.
“The only thing out of place,” he said returning to the living room, “is my bed looks disheveled. I always make my bed up before I go to work, and Haven never messes it up.”
The two officers marched through the bedroom door and studied the bed.
“We’d better get the blacklight,” the male officer said.
“Blacklight? Do you think they came in here and hooked up?”
“Never hurts to look,” the female officer said.
After the officers left and Ray drove home, Curtis sat down on his couch with a cup of green tea and reviewed his own surveillance video. He scanned to the part where the two intruders entered his home. He leaned in and studied them carefully. They were obviously looking for something. He watched one of the hooded creeps head into his bedroom and the other survey the kitchen and living room. The crook looked up into the surveillance camera. He hopped up on the breakfast nook and proceeded to spray paint the lens.
Curtis quickly rewound the video to take another look at the guy. He did a freeze frame just as the creep’s face came into view. Then Curtis felt all the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. There was no doubt about it. It was Lance. That rat bastard had broken into his house and killed his dog!
Curtis stood up and roared. He grabbed the sides of his face and stamped his feet on the ground. Those creeps he worked with had taken their pranks beyond the pale. He marched out into the kitchen, yanked open his utensil drawer and began hurling silverware against the wall. It took a couple of minutes before he realized someone was knocking on his front door.
“Who is it?” he said.
“It’s Earl,” Earl said. “Are you okay in there?”
“Oh…yes. I’m just…putting some things away.”
“Sounded like that Zuul guy from Ghostbusters came over for a visit or something.”
“No. No Zuul in here. I was just…putting some things away.”
“Really? I’ve never heard you put things away that loudly before.”
“Yeah, well, I felt like being…loud.”
“Okay, man. I’m sorry about Haven.”
“Thank you. I appreciate you taking her to the animal hospital.”
“Absolutely, man. I hope they catch the guys who did it.”
“Yeah. I hope they do something like that.”
“What?”
“Thanks, Earl.”
Curtis listened as Earl headed back to his apartment. Then he looked around at the mess he’d made. He sighed and left the strewn silverware everywhere and went back to his couch, plopped down and continued watching his surveillance tape. He rewound it and watched it again from where the two scumbags entered his home. He focused on the one who wasn’t Lance. It had to be either Grady or Irving.
And then he realized it was a woman. How had he not figured that out before? Makenna. Of course, Makenna. She’d picked the lock. She’d probably concocted the sick plan, the rotten little slut!
Curtis jumped up and paced around stepping on table knives, spoons, and forks as he went. He couldn’t take this lying down. He had to act. But how? The more he thought the more he believed Grady and Irwin were in on the whole rotten scheme too. All of them had set out to kill Haven. They probably planned it at The Steamed Bean drinking those overpriced coffees while he stayed in the office. He was going to tear them to pieces. He was going to get revenge.
MY BOOKS
You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!
STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE HOLDOVERS (2023)-PEACOCK
American movies have been going downhill in recent years but occasionally there is a bright shiny star amongst the rubble. This week two of this film’s lead actors rightly took home Golden Globes and I was overjoyed. I only have three complaints: Dominic Sessa should have also had a nomination; Alexander Payne should have had a nomination and most perplexing of all why in the world didn’t this fantastic original script by David Hemingson get a nomination? It’s easily one of the best screenplays of the 2020’s original or otherwise and I hope the Oscars recognize its brilliance and give it a nod.
Alexander Payne has a stellar list of credits to his name, and this film is amongst his best. Set over a two-week period during Christmas vacation at a prestigious boy’s New England boarding school we meet history teacher and longtime curmudgeon Paul Hunham (Paul Giamatti in a career best Golden Globe winning performance), a brilliant single alcoholic intellectual who has absolutely no patients with his spoiled lazy wealthy students. In fact, he fails most of them on their final test. One of the students Teddy Kountze (Brady Hepner) manages to argue for a makeup test which Hunham agrees to give immediately. However, Angus Tully (Dominic Sessa) who has a rivalry with Kountze argues it isn’t the right time for a makeup test with Christmas break starting that afternoon and could they take it when they come back. After listening to Tully’s argument Hunham rescinds the offer, leaving the boys to face their parents with their horrific grades.
Worse still, during a last-minute phone call with his mother Judy (Gillian Vigman) Angus finds out he cannot go home for the holiday and is stuck at the school with the other “holdovers” which includes Kountze, two younger boys Jim Kaplan (Ye-Joon Park) and Ian Dolley (Alex Ollerman) and fellow classmate, cool and hip Jason Smith (Michael Provost). Mary Lamb (Da’Vine Joy Randolph in a much-deserved Golden Globe winning performance) the head chef at the school is also staying over to cook meals for the left-behind boys. Mary has gone through a horrific recent tragedy and bravely struggles to maintain a strong front. Paul Hunham has been chosen by the rest of the staff, who dislike him almost as much as his students to be the boy’s guardian until classes recommence.
But as luck would have it Jason’s father decides to call a truce with his son who refuses to cut his long flowing blonde locks. Jason invites the boys to accompany his father and him to a ski resort, provided they are granted permission from their parents. Paul contacts and gets permission from all the parents…except for Angus’s mother which leaves a modified Angus alone at the school for two weeks with Paul and Mary.
Certified Sadistic Accountant Chapter Nine
Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here with chapter nine of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. This week has been a bit more normal. My novelist’s ankle is healing up well although she is not fully recovered. As she is moving around better, the Maltese and I do not require the services of…Him, although he says he still does some of the work. However, I have not been going out on my usual walks much. This has made me melancholy and I stare out the window at the open road and hope for a time when I shall gleefully traverse it. The Maltese was given a much-needed bath today, and I was granted a pass. I will be getting one tomorrow so I can put off my horror until then. I am looking forward to the New Year and am making a resolution to write even more stories and perhaps some genres I have not penned before. I hope you all had a marvelous New Year’s Eve. I stayed up till midnight and rang in 2024. I was told I could not partake of the sparkling cider as it has too much sugar for my teeth. Next time I will have a few laps of it anyway. And on that thought, here is chapter nine of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. S’il vous plaît profiter.
Certified Sadistic Accountant
by
Gigi the parti poodle
Chapter Nine
Curtis drove home to his duplex and parked in the driveway. Earl was no longer sitting on his porch. Curtis killed the engine and sat looking out the window. A light rain began to spatter on the windshield. He still had Haven’s collar clenched in his left hand. After a moment he looked up in his rearview mirror and saw his landlord’s truck pull up and park. His landlord hopped out of his vehicle and walked up to the driver’s side of Curtis’s car.
“Hey there, Curtis,” he said.
Curtis rolled down his window. “Hello,” he said.
“Ray told me about your dog.”
“Yes.”
“Well, he and I had a little tete-e-tete while you were gone and we thought it was downright odd your little dog got loose, us knowing you to be a fastidious type of person and all. So, I thought maybe you and I could look at the security footage of the outside of the duplex.”
“Okay,” Curtis didn’t want Ray to know about the surveillance he’d covertly installed inside his apartment.
“You can come over to my office and we’ll have a look-see. You know where my office is?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Alright, then. I’ll meet you there.”
Ray hopped back in his truck and Curtis followed him over to Ray’s offices. Ray owned several duplexes around the area. He’d made his money working as an engineer and then settled in Curtis’s small town. Retirement didn’t suit him, so he purchased the duplexes, fixed them up, modernized them and did well enough to buy himself the truck he was driving and take his wife on a month-long trip to Europe.
“Every year,” Ray said, “we get more and more folks from out of state moving in who think they are going to be living in a better place than they left. But the problem is they bring their former state’s problems with them. My thought is maybe the reason your little dog broke out was because one of these out of towners broke in.”
“You think Haven got out because someone broke into my place?”
“We’ll see. If your place did get broken into, I’ll change the locks. Got a new and improved lock system. I’ve been putting them in my other units. I’ll make your and Ray’s place a priority.”
“Thanks, Ray.”
“Not a problem. Let’s take a look-see at the video. Say, how is your little dog? Is the vet keeping her overnight for observation?”
Curtis sighed. “No. Haven died today. The vet said she sustained injuries from getting hit by a car.”
“Hit by a car? I’m sorry, Curtis. That just sucks. Let’s see if we can get a good look at whoever’s on the tape.” Curtis and Ray headed into the office. Ray moved behind his desk and turned on his surveillance system. “Let me rewind the video a bit and see what we’ve got.” Ray rewound the video all the way back until they saw two people in hoodies walk up to Curtis’s front door. “And look at what we have here.” The two men leaned in and studied the two intruders. “Ever seen those two before?”
Curtis focused, trying to get a good look. “They look familiar, but I can’t quite place them,” he said.
“I wonder if it’s those guys in that house down the street that just got rented.”
“Maybe…no. There’s something familiar about them though.
“Can you make out their faces at all?”
“No.”
“Neither can I. I’ll see if I can get a closer view.” Ray attempted to adjust the zoom on the surveillance, but it didn’t help. Then they saw one of the two people picking the lock. “Wow! I am changing you and Ray’s locks immediately. You should check around your house and make sure nothing got stolen.”
“I don’t own much of value. I don’t understand why anyone would want to rob me.”
“Crooks aren’t always the sharpest crayons in the box. Sometimes they just break into places for the thrill.”
“Yes, but they seemed to be targeting me specifically since they had a key to my apartment.”
Curtis and Ray continued watching the tape which at this point was basically staring at Curtis’s front door. “You know,” Ray said. “It looks like they left the door ajar. Kind of stupid don’t you think? Draws attention…” Suddenly, the door opened wider. A moment later one of the hooded criminals burst outside and ran towards the street. “There’s Haven!”
Curtis watched Haven sitting on his front lawn still alive and full of pep.
“Hey, buddy,” Ray said. “Are you okay?”
Curtis realized tears were running down his cheeks. “Yeah, sure,” he said quickly wiping one away with his sleeve. “I’m just anxious to catch these guys.”
“Look! The other one just ran out the door.”
Curtis watched the second criminal who seemed frazzled. The criminal lurched forwards and Haven turned and ran towards the street. A few seconds later they saw the delivery truck with the neighbor’s flowers screech to a halt.
“I’m sorry, Curtis. This just sucks.”
“Well,” Curtis said quietly. “At least I know I didn’t leave the door open and cause Haven to escape.”
“Earl and I never thought you did, buddy. That’s why I wanted us to watch the tape.”
“Unfortunately, I still can’t recognize these creeps who broke into my house.”
“Well, your residence is basically a crime scene now. We should call the police and have them check inside to see if they can lift any fingerprints or find some DNA or something.”
Curtis nodded. “Yeah, we probably should.”
“I’ll give them a jingle and see if I can’t get a couple of officers to come over and have a look-see.”
“Could you restart the tape from where these two jerks show up on my porch. I sincerely believe they look familiar, and I’d like to see if I can identify them.”
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
MY BOOKS
You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!
STREAM OF THE WEEK: OLDBOY (2003)-NETFLIX
Finally, at long last, one of the masterpieces of the new millennium is now beautifully restored and remastered and streaming on Netflix. From its mesmerizing opening to its shocking ending and everything in between, this is an exercise in masterclass storytelling and cinematic moviemaking. I will warn you right off the bat this film is for genuine cinephiles only. This is not for the casual movie watcher. This is not for kids. This is not for the faint of heart. This is a twisted film in every sense of the word, and I mean that in the best way. As Roger Ebert said in his review of the film, “But content does not make a movie good or bad — it is merely what it is about.” And the less you know about this movie going in the better the experience is going to be.
On a dark and rainy night in 1988, twenty-five-year-old Oh Dae-Su (Choi Min-sik in the role of a lifetime), a loud vile drunken businessman finds himself in jail acting erratically. After his friend bails him out the two men stop at a phone booth on route to Oh Dae-Su’s little girl’s birthday. Oh Dae-Su calls home and drunkenly tells his family he will soon be there. He hands the phone to his friend partway through the conversation. His friend talks to his family and when he hangs up, Oh Dae-Su is nowhere to be found. Only the shopping bag carrying the little girl’s present, a set of white feathered angel wings is lying in the wet street.
Oh Dae-Su has been kidnapped and finds himself in a bizarre prison: a strange hotel room with no windows and no way out where he is to stay for fifteen years. Once he is released into the middle of a green field in 2003 inside a suitcase (a scene likely borrowed from Krzysztof Kieslowski’s 1994 masterpiece White) he finds he has five days to locate his captor and find out why he was imprisoned. If I told you more, it would be a crime.
The gorgeous cinematography was done by Chung-hoon Chung, the film was expertly directed by Park Chan-wook. The story is loosely adapted from the manga series Old Boy written by Garon Tsuchiya and illustrated by Nobuaki Minegishi. And the fantastic top shelf screenplay is written by Hwang Jo-yun, Lim Jun-hyung, and director Park Chan-wook. Rounding out this impressive cast are Oh Dal-su as Park Cheol-woong, Seung-shin Lee as Yoo Hyung-ja, Ji Dae-han as No Joo-hwan, Kim Byeong-Ok as Mr. Han, Kang Hye-jeong as Mi-do and Yoo Ji-tae as Woo-jin Lee.
Gigi Catches Air 