Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter thirty-four of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. My novelist and I finally had the opportunity to attend the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. She is much calmer presently which makes me much calmer. But now we must wait and see if the goodies she ordered online arrive and don’t sell out. The sale is legendary here in the pacific northwest and some of the items go quickly. We visited one of the stores in the morning with a couple of my novelist’s closest pack members. They gave us boxes of treats and water bottles and scratch cards for future discounts and lovely little canvas bags to put everything in. My novelist raved about all of it, especially the bag. She adored the bag. After perusing all the marvelous fall fashions, we had lunch at Nordstrom Grill. I must strongly suggest the French Onion Soup and the Lobster Bisque if you get a chance to visit. I enjoyed the baked bread. It was scrumptious. I was concerned my paws might start barking after all the perusing and trying on clothes and ogling baubles. But there are many very comfortable places to sit at the store, and I curled up on a couch outside the fitting rooms while my novelist and her pack tried on skirts and sweaters. Anyway, things are returning to normal, and I do not need to hide under the bed until next summer. And with that thought here is chapter thirty-four of my story Certified Sadistic Accountant. Enjoy!

Certified Sadistic Accountant

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Thirty-Four

Curtis screamed and stumbled backwards. There was nothing there to stop him and he fell on his flanks, kicking and trying to scramble to his feet. He pointed the flashlight back at the chair to find a life-size black bear lounging in it. His ears strained to hear the creature breathe. Silence. Curtis rose slowly to his feet and aimed the flashlight at the bear. He leaned forwards as he moved closer, his left arm stretched out for balance. Clearly this was an extraordinary and far too realistic full-size reproduction of the terrifying animal. He had been right about the leg of the beast draping over the arm of the chair. The bear wore an elaborate dress with sequins that caught the light. On its head was a tiara with glittering rhinestones.

Curtis searched his memory to see if he recalled his aunt owning this oversized piece of art. He decided it must be something she’d recently acquired as he could not recall it and he was certain he would have recalled it. There was a flicker to the left side of the chair and then a tiffany lamp with blue stained glass illuminated a dim glow.

He thought he heard something behind him and then someone grabbed his arm. He felt a silky fabric encircle his wrist and tighten securing a knot. The strange sensation of a feather moved slowly up the inside of his arm causing goosebumps to rise on his skin. He stood still trying to assess what was happening to him.

He felt a grip on his other wrist and then more silky material securing in place. A gentle weight on his right shoulder pressed him down to the floor. He sat with his hands tied behind him. Something slid slowly over his head. A mask of some sort. Then he was gazing out of two holes. He felt some sort of sash being tied at the back of his skull.

Slow strange music began to play. Cello, xylophone, maybe a piano. No drums. No driving beat. Just a melodic airy tune. The bear picked up the leg it had draped over the chair and crossed it over the other leg. Curtis thought he could see Fia at the side of the chair moving it. He leaned in and watched carefully.

The bear slowly tilted to the right, resting its head on its left paw. Curtis noticed something catch the light near the lamp. Soap bubbles began floating through the air. He seemed to remember his aunt having a bubble machine when he was very young and first started visiting her. 

He felt Fia move behind him again. He waited anxiously to find out what would happen next. The back of his neck tingled as she untied the mask, and it slipped down over his face. The giant bear still stared at him from its lackadaisical position. Suddenly, a knit material slipped over his face, and everything went black. He heard the movement of feet scurry away. His jagged breath was all he heard. Then a rattling sound of something metal caused his ears to perk. Fia’s arm linked under his and he scrambled to his feet and stumbled across the floor.

Fia stopped and picked up his right pant leg and lifted it over something and set his foot down. Then she did the same with his left. She led him a couple more steps then stopped. He felt her unlock her arm from his and he stood waiting. He heard her move away behind him, then returned and set something on the floor. Then she moved away again and swept back past him. As she did, he felt something soft brush past his arm. The life-size bear perhaps? She rushed past him again, then he heard a metallic clank and then silence. Curtis perked his ears. Nothing.  

Several minutes slipped by. Maybe even fifteen. He began to panic. “Fia?” he called out. No answer. “Fia?”

He took a cautious step forward then another. The toe of his shoe hit something. Metal jangled as if he’d kicked a chain length fence. He took a cautious step forward then another…the toe of his shoe hit something, and metal jangled as if he’d kicked a chain length fence. He moved over a little and kicked a second time and again struck a metal structure. A horrible feeling surged through him. He fought with the silk ties on his wrists to no avail. He turned and tried to judge the metal barrier in front of him. He moved along it and it appeared to curve.

He stepped into the barrier and leaned his head against it. He rubbed his head against the surface working the knitted item off his head. After a few minutes of maneuvering, he managed to work what turned out to be a winter tunic off his head. His eyes focused and examined his trap. A large bird cage, he surmised. Some sort of oversized art piece Aunt Odette must have acquired at some point, he surmised.

“Fia!” he called. He looked towards the attic door where light was flooding in from the hall. It was clear to him she had escaped.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE AUTOMAT (2021)-HBO MAX

This week’s pick is a fantastic historical documentary about an eatery chain called The Automat. The documentary does a fine seamless job of interviewing different well-known patrons of the establishment such as Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, and Ruth Bader Ginsberg and historians and former workers of the company including Norris Horn the great nephew of one of the founders of the famed restaurant while interspersing photos both inside and outside of the different restaurant’s locations. If you are not familiar with The Automat in New York City also known as Horn + Hardart in Philadelphia, it was an ingenious restaurant where you could purchase food by putting nickels into slots which allowed you to open a brass framed glass door and select an item such as a slice of pie, creamed spinach, potatoes, an entrée, etc. You could even purchase a cup of French press coffee. The concept was so brilliant that Howard Shultz, founder of Starbucks borrowed some of their elements to create his famous coffee chain. The idea was anyone could come into this elegant cafeteria and have a meal. It is not fast food but rather superb food fast.

This is an entertaining piece of filmmaking well-written by Michael Levine and well-directed by Lisa Hurwitz. Kudos also to Russell Green and Michael Levine for their outstanding editing work. The Automat is an absolute joy to watch. And a bit of an anomaly amongst some of the other types of documentaries out there. I highly recommend it.