Good afternoon. It is I Gigi the parti poodle here to introduce chapter sixteen of my story Catzilla. This week my novelist and I went to the theatre and took in the film Oppenheimer because we like it when our fellow NTs make movies about NTs (Christopher Nolan is an INTJ and Oppenheimer is an INTJ). The next day my novelist and I perused reviews of the film which we mostly agreed with as being a great movie. However, there was one major disagreement we had with the movie we haven’t yet found amongst the critics and that was how small a part Richard Feynman plays in the story. Yes, he’s in it but not as much as my novelist thinks he should be. Oppenheimer is a heavy film with little to no humor and we think Feynman, who was not only a genius, but a bit of a prankster may have added some much-needed levity to the story. Also, we think perhaps one could look at the scientists Einstein, Oppenheimer, and Feynman as a trinity at that point in history: the professor emeritus, the professor in his prime, and the young professor apprentice. We think more focus on this may have made for a stronger story. We appreciate this is a heady and dense film and would easily recommend it, but many great dramas have flourished with a bit of levity, and we think some gifted young actor could have benefited from such a role as well as adding panache to the film. Anyway, that’s our two cents. And now here is chapter sixteen of my story Catzilla.    

Catzilla

by

Gigi the parti poodle

Chapter Sixteen

I hurried over to my mom and tapped her on the shoulder. She whipped around and I showed her Lyle’s text.

“Ask him where he is,” she told me.

I texted Lyle:

            Where RU?

I waited a couple of minutes, but he didn’t reply. “He hasn’t texted back.”

“Be patient.”

Suddenly, we heard a thud. Not a small thud like an object falling off a counter or a kid landing on his feet. This was a big thud, a huge thud, like a large tree falling over. The sound came from the gym entrance. Then I heard that horrible raspy noise the kitten had made like it had smoked cigarettes for years. But it was louder and raspier than before.

My mom ran over to the gym teacher Mr. Schermer who was guarding the entrance and motioned for him to shut the doors. Mr. Schermer kicked away the large orange wedge holding the heavy doors open. But as the doors began to close a large fluffy red paw took a swipe at him and ripped his shirt.

“Holy cats!” he exclaimed. “What was that?!”

This time I didn’t text Lyle, I called him. The phone rang several times and went to voicemail. I hung up and dialed again. Still no answer. I looked up and my mother shoved her cattle prod at the kitten. The kitten swatted its paw and caught my mom by the hair.

“Mom!” I screamed and ran over to the door. I grabbed the cattle prod which had clattered to the floor and zapped the kitten with it again. And then again.

The cat caterwauled and hung onto my mom’s hair. I zapped the thing again and this time it was enough for my mother to untangle herself from its claw. Mom ran to Mr. Schermer and the two of them forced the door shut. Mr. Schermer fumbled for his keys and locked the doors.

Suddenly, I realized pandemonium had broken out. Kids were screaming and crying, running around in circles, and knocking each other over. I stormed the stage, grabbing the microphone away from the singer who, like the rest of the band, was frozen in fear.

“Stop!” I yelled. “You’re going to hurt each other!” But the kids just kept running around and banging into one another.

“What was that…thing?” the lead singer asked me.

“A cat.”

“Like an oversized cougar or something?”

The lead guitarist stepped up to the microphone and played the loudest, most obnoxious sound I’ve ever heard come out of a musical instrument. That got the kids’ attention. All eyes turned to the stage.

“We need to make sure all the doors in here are shut and locked,” I said into the microphone.

“I’ll get the other doors,” Mr. Schermer said and headed to the other side of the gym.

“What was that thing?” Principal Doofus demanded.

“A kitten,” I said.

“A…kitten? That thing is bigger than any kitten I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s no ordinary kitten. It’s a science project at the Edevane plant.”

“What kind of science project?”

“The only person here who might know is Ellery Edevane.”

Everyone started looking around the room for Ellery. But no one could find him.

“He was just standing in the corner with Quincy a moment ago.”

The kids working lights and sound turned the spotlight on the corner. But both Ellery and Quincy were gone.

“You’re trying to tell us that monster out there was a kitten?” Mr. Relish, my science teacher asked. “There’s no way a house cat could get that big.”

“But a blowfish can expand up to four times its normal size. Why couldn’t a kitten, an unusual kitten, do the same?”

“A kitten doesn’t have the elastic type of stomach a blowfish has.”

Principal Doofus marched up on stage and grabbed the microphone from me. “I’m the principal here and I’m running the show. I want all you students to make four lines. I want the seniors on my far left,” he said pointing his finger. “Then I want the juniors to line up next to them, then the sophomores and then the freshmen.”

The students grumbled and began lining up.

“What do you want us to do?” the band’s drummer asked.

“Stay put. Don’t leave the stage until I say so.” Then he turned to the students and said, “Alright, kids, let’s move it!”

The students finished filing into the four lines.

“Now, the first order of business is to remain calm. I doubt this thing outside is a giant kitten. It’s likely an oversized bear or an animal that escaped from a zoo, or possibly a circus animal that abandoned its trainer.

“It looked like a big kitten paw to me,” Mr. Schermer said.

“What we do know is something is out there and it’s dangerous.”

“You don’t know the half of it!”

Everyone turned their attention to the back of the gym. Standing there was Lyle. Somehow, he’d managed to slip inside the back door.

“What are you talking about, Concord?”

“That kitten has been roaming around the neighborhoods near the school. The more people fed it the larger it got.”

“What?”

“I’m saying we built a monster…well, the Edevanes’ built a monster, but we were the real guinea pigs here.”

“Because we fed a stray kitten?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Everyone will soon.”

Suddenly, there was another loud thump. Mr. Schermer ran over to the main entrance. “Holy cats! The thing is slamming its paws against the door!”

“It’s time for action,” Principal Doofus said. “I want us to build a fortress. If we are going to be safe from this thing, we need a blockade. Seniors, I want you to get all the gymnastic mats and put them up against the doors. Let’s move!”

The seniors headed over to the closets where the mats had been stored away for the dance. They hauled them out with three people to a mat: one at the front, one in the middle and one at the end. They built a wall of mats up against the front door and the rear door. As they did, I quietly left the stage and headed over to my mom.

“How are we going to get out of here?” I asked her.

“We’ll need to come up with an evacuation plan. But more importantly we’ll need to know how to stop that cat.”

“Fantastic, kids,” Principal Doofus said. “Now, I’m going to call the police and have them help us get out of here.”

Five minutes later we heard sirens approaching. The only windows in the gym were the ones on the doors.

“Mr. Schermer,” the principal asked. “Can you look outside and give us an update?”

“The police have their guns raised,” Mr. Schermer said. “They are pointing them at the cat.”

We all heard a single patrol rifle shot fire.

“They…holy cats! The kitten just slapped the guns right out of their hands!”

“The kitten is slapping them around like a toy! It’s tossing them in the air! The cat is juggling the police officers! They’re landing on the ground…badly! One of them just got up. He’s running for his vehicle. He’s leaving! He’s driving off!”

“I think you’d better come up with an escape plan, mom,” I said.

“So, it seems,” my mom replied.

MY BOOKS

You can check out my books Chicane and all five installments of the Musicology book series Musicology: Volume One, Baby!, Musicology: Volume Two, Kid!, Musicology: Volume Three, Twist!, Musicology: Volume Four, Sweetie! and Musicology: The Epiquad on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback editions. You can also check out Musicology’s web site at www.musicologyrocks.com and vote for who you think will win Musicology!

STREAM OF THE WEEK: THE VERDICT (1982)-HBO MAX

This week’s pick is a rare film with a superb cast of actors, a legendary playwright & screenwriter (David Mammet), and a highly skilled director (Sidney Lumet). Based on the novel by Barry Reed it is the story of Frank Galvin (Paul Newman in a fantastic Oscar nominated performance) a gifted lawyer who, after being screwed over in his younger days by his former law firm has become an alcoholic and a failure in his trade having had only four court cases in the last three year all of which he lost. One day, his only friend and retired ex-partner Mickey Morrissey (Jack Warden) brings him a case which he forgets about for months until he is due to present it. The case involves a young pregnant woman named Deborah Ann Kaye who, after being admitted to St. Catherine Labouré Hospital after what should have been a routine delivery loses her baby and ends up in a permanent coma. Frank goes to see Kaye in the care unit she will now spend the rest of her life in. After taking pictures of her, Frank sees a parallel to the way he was treated by his former firm and the way she is being treated by a prestigious hospital and for once in his ambulance chasing life, he connects to the client he is defending. He turns down the $210,000 the hospital and Catholic church offers and instead prepares to go to court against a powerful New York law firm headed by Ed Concannon (James Mason). Charlotte Rampling also delivers a wonderful performance as Frank’s love interest Laura Fischer. And David Mammet’s then wife Lindsay Crouse plays Kaitlin Costello Price.